|Reviews for You are the Salt|
| Silent Scars chapter 1 . 7/12/2005
you've used a load of descriptive and morbid words. it brings a lot of thought through the head. nice job :)
| she's so hardcore chapter 1 . 4/11/2005
| Lux's Confusion chapter 1 . 2/27/2004
wow, this was an incredibly powerful piece of just raw emotion, writen so eloquently. i love how you take a piece of normal angst and heartache and make it so alive with words. you use great abstract concepts people rarely attempt to even think about doing these days. i loved it, shine on babe.
| glitterjewele chapter 1 . 2/23/2004
WOW! omg, seriously . . . SO MANY CHILLS. this was incredible! it's angry without being out of control such a rare occurence! such brilliance, such vividness.
ehem, right, okay. so this entire poem was absolutely phenomenal, but you have a few places that are evenly dispersed throughout it which i read and got sucked in anew, so i'm going to point them out ;). first:
"feel me stain your humanity
i'm hollow, hoarse in the hallowed hearse of honor
long dead with rags of roman robes clinging solely by the spit-vomit of maggots
there is no life after death rather death after life"
*so* much great stuff in this opening of yours. "feel me stain your humanity" and "there is no life after death rather death after life" were just so profound, awesome alliteration with the 'H's, and simply incredible imagery with the roman robes and spit-vomit of maggots.
"so you'll grip the open hole
stare into my eyes
look and be damned"
MAJOR chill when i read that, it was just such a haunting image. and finally:
"only in ecstacy of pain shall we be impaled on the same lie"
SUCH a fantastic line, way to solidify the lie, and *great* choice likening it to a knife, specifically. i gotta hand it to you, chica, no matter how utterly amazing your writing is, you always manage to make it better somehow. lots and lots and LOTS of kudos for this one, it completely blew my mind kudos, kudos, kudos! *wild applause* :D
| Jimmy Jazz chapter 1 . 2/1/2004
Oh, I could just feel the pain, fantastic work.
| Magpie Poet chapter 1 . 1/31/2004
*shudder* helo dante. i dunno, your damn good with description be itpretty or not. the rant is sort of standard but the images aren't, so it works well. and the saying for the last line sums it up without ending- which, again, works. bloody morbid and angry. oh wait. that's why i like it.
| Mime chapter 1 . 1/29/2004
I've been having a hard week; parents bitching at each other, loads school, and possibly someone hacking into my computer. Reading this though, just makes me feel grateful to be alive; have the friends I know who are there. I'm glad I have the oppurtunity to read this. I know there are many others out there who deserve to, but can't. The last two lines of this piece leaves you with wondering, they are unargue-ably true. Thank you for posting this and reminding me why I live on.
| teh tarik chapter 1 . 1/27/2004
*they say that life is a temporary solution for a permanent problem*
There is something really powerful and dark about this line that just makes me shiver when I read it aloud.
The pain is so intense, so vividly described. And somehow so poetic. I loved reading every word of it, it was like a spell which you can't stop reading half way. Though different from your usual pieces, I think it's great, very original.
| Lidless Eye chapter 1 . 1/26/2004
What I really liked about this is how random it flowed. You definitely took advantage of a lack of structure and created something really cool to think about. The last two lines were priceless, too. It makes you want to think into what it could mean.
Awesome job on it all. I wish you could've put structure into this, but I still liked it a lot. Brilliant work, and keep it up.
| snowtiger13731 chapter 1 . 1/26/2004
Wow. Definitely different from your usual ones, but I like it. Especially the format. . . or lack of format.