Reviews for Patricks and Westerns
mia aurora chapter 10 . 6/30/2012
i really like this..too bad Greg's an ass !
R. Ficst chapter 26 . 2/7/2012
If you like reading as well as writing, may I suggest to you "Les Jeux Sont Faits" by Sartre

I think you'd really enjoy it
Barbie826 chapter 26 . 6/15/2011
I don't like the ending. It feels so empty. I didn't like all the Point of View changes.

And the main character is so weak. She forgives so easily and doesn't even take charge of the person she is.

Wish there was also more interaction with people and more about her at school. At least something more. Other than I love you, no I don't like you, nope I love you, oh no my sister got pregnant and now this is an excuse for us to part.

Kind of wish I didn't read to the end.
JeneyaStorm chapter 4 . 6/16/2010
hell dat was 2 damn easy and first kiss already
Guest chapter 2 . 2/28/2010
The protagonist of this story isn't exactly that kind. o_O I don't know if you did that purposely (characterizing her this way), but calling people geeks and ugly isn't nice at all. We'll see if you're aiming for that "pity the poor girl" stereotypical storyline or not, but just saying, it'd be more touching if Isabelle was a nice girl.
Melting dew chapter 25 . 1/28/2010
oh my God..! you made me cry...i hate you for thet..! jst kiddin, bt seriously a happy ending would have been welcomed..! but not to worry... in my imagination Belle and greg are together again after abt 10 yearz and even have a cute baby girl now :)..! SiigH..!
Guest chapter 2 . 11/19/2009
i started off with an open mind. but buy the second chapter i couldnt even force my self to read anymore. isabelle is just another spinless charactor who gives into peer pressure who doesnt stick up for herself.
Abbagrl chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
i'm liking this so far, can't wait for the rest!
Knowledge is Power chapter 26 . 7/13/2009
i know it is 2009 but a sequal is needed for this baby. come on. greg is rich have him be a twenty something business owner going to paris for a trip and doesn't know belle is the ceo of the buisness he wants a deal with. she is smart. it could work.
sarcasm is my middle name chapter 25 . 4/17/2009
Okay, you are definitely one of a kind...

You sure do know how to make a person sad!

This is the first romance story (out of the hundreds that i've read)where the ending is tragic!

Yet, it was a moving story... and i loved it!
stanhops chapter 1 . 2/26/2009
Guys seriously, don’t review this…I REPEAT: DO NOT REVIEW THIS!

1) Because I wrote it when I was in tenth grade in high school. I am now a junior in college, cringing because this story is still online. Do you really think that you spending a half hour on your critical review about this story will make a difference in my life? If so, I ask that you reconsider because there are way better things you could be doing with your time. If you feel the need to review, do so, but realize that any and all constructive criticism goes in one ear and out the other.

2)I’m not fifteen anymore. Trust that my writing has improved and move on. Dissertations about how shallow and underdeveloped my characters are will prove futile because I’m currently a Human Biology major that no longer writes anything but my honors thesis, which is all in scientific jargon that all of you could care less about.

3) Because this was written for fun by a 15 year old who had barely even kissed a boy, let alone experienced love. Now having experienced love I can tell you that it's a whole lot more complex than the beginning of this tale, and a lot more like the tragedy involved at the end of this tale.

Read it. Hate it or love it. It’s yours now, I claim no ownershi.
3DarkGoddess3 chapter 25 . 1/27/2009
I liked your story but it was so sad.
Joey chapter 1 . 12/12/2008
I have never been a fan of rich school poor school stories because i find them very unrealistic.

Sadly, i cant say your story changed my mind, it was interesting at its best but there were many things that were missing for it to be really good.

I couldn't relate with any of the characters, Isabella was very very 2 dimensional and greg was 1 dimensional and weak.

First off with belle: she never acted or said anything that made her special, she was always giggling but never showed any personality, i never got any depth from her and i think you need a little more development in your story to really bring out her character.

as for greg...he went from i want her for sex to i love her, it was so quick so undeveloped i didn't believe it at all.

Plus, their 'love' was not convincing at all. they basically fell for each other because of their good looks. They had no moments where i witnessed that could have furthered their feelings beyond lust.

I also think you should stick with one narration style, if youre going to do first person then stick with one character, if you want to show both sides of the story maybe try third person omniscient. I also find it the most unrealistic when characters who speak another language speak only one phrase in their native tongue before switching back to english, thats very unnatural.

Moreover, the author notes in the middle of the story were distracting.

Your secondary characters were also lacking. If tomy really cared about how belle was treated why didnt he do something? he just told him to stop but it was the most feeble attempt ive ever witnessed.

Also, what happened to Stacey and Melanie getting mad at Belle? its like they just forgot about it the next day?

And when did greg's parents decide to not love their son? I didn't see any trace of that throughout the story until that final argument, there was also no trace that greg didn't like the westerners until that argument.

i think there needed to be more description, more development and definitely longer chapters because i found many chapters could have been one chapter together (especially that telephone call chapter)

This review may seem really harsh but these really were problems i saw throughout the story, it was too superficial. Hopefully you decided to come back and revise it because i believe it can get better with some planning and thought.

Anyway, hopefully you keep in mind for the next story because i think it can be improved and if it were the ending would make more sense because i would then understand why she doesnt get back together with him. She was too flimsy, she forgave him so quickly and all he had to do was say i love you. it seemed very high school.

well, i guess thats all i have to say

keep writing and improving

broken chapter 25 . 10/10/2008
NO! I read stories at the end of the day to relax and to escape, not for stress and aggravation! *waves angry fist* I need happy endings! *sobsob* Don't you think that reality sucks badly enough to be incorporating it in fiction too? How could you! :(

Seriously, you're an awesome-EVOCATIVE-amazing writer and you do not need that cliched tragic ending to stir up effect if your story is already good with staggering plot developments. You can still make realistic happy endings you know? That is, if you really want your romance fictions REAL... But then again what's the point of writing realistic ones when the goal hopefully is to be creative, to imagine, and to evoke positive emotions upon readers such as inspiration and those gleeful, "de-stressing" feelings.

The epilogue was TRULY depressing! It left a very bitter taste in my mouth, and I just want to forget about this story, rather than look back at it, wish to read it again someday, and be inspired with love overall. It just pains me that it had to end like this when it was very well-written and the characters had potential for that "great true love story" that might have been beautiful and breathtaking to read. This story was good, but not great.

Is there any way that we can beg you to write a sequel? This story is just begging to be continued and I can't seem to let it go. :( You're very apt in writing characters that one can get easily attached to. You got a LOT of readers carin' about 'em as seen below..that takes skill. well done! :)

Keep practicin' and I hope that tragic romance stories is not your signature, and that you don't give up writing cause you clearly have a lot of potential in this craft..",)
a14peanut95 chapter 25 . 9/1/2008
The ending was perfect no matter what anyone says i think it ended that way the for the best. Everything happens for a reason and it was perfect.
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