Nice.

Yet another story that has endless options. (I see you fixed the comma/period problem) Keep writing. Even if you don't like a story you're writing it's best to finish it. 'Cause someday, you can go back and re-write it. (Something I plan to do with Flesh Wound)

This is vundabar. I really really like it *stares blankly, comes back to earth* Todoshi, KEEP GOING OR FACE THE WRATH OF MY PINK FLUFFY BUNNIES OF CAPITOL LETTERS!

Well, cool story but ah! What's this
(whispering breeze) underworld...underworld...
Don't get me wrong, I like this story but I still find it hard to decide, who's cooler? Vampires or Lycans?
I'm leaning towards Lycans at the moment
UNDERWORLD KICKS ASS!

Yeah, i guees it has. Anyways, here's the damn review you wanted. Happy? Good. By the way, YOU MIXED UP THE NAMES! Also, what color hair does my guy have? My bad, what color hair is he ALLOWED to have. Black, plz? W/e. See ya later.
*~*~Final Spell~*~*

AWESOME STORY! and yes Underworld is the one of the greatest movies i've ever seen. actually i just saw it last night... oh well great story. UPDATE SOON! happy trails *disappears*

OKAY here's the longer review! dorry it was short last time. i was at school and didn't want to get caught... poor Richard... MOTORCYCLE! COOL! *dreams* *_* wow... well anyway, love it, love it, and love it. any chance i could be in it?
Maru: *WHACK* no asking that
Lycra: MARU!
Ravage: sned me the pic please! LATER!

send me all teh pics! adn don't scold me about underwolrd
OO gotta go! i'll review again... and make it longer... until tehn... LATER!

, PLZ send me some pics! Hehe, I'll review this when I'm ACTUALLY done this chap. .

Firstly, I would like to say... YAY! I ACT JUST LIKE THAT! Only, I'm a bit more outgoing for a fight, but it's your story. *shoots some more ferrets* *speaks into a recorder* Day 2, the ferrets seem to be multiplying... *winks* I can't wait to see what we'll do! Mwuaahahaa... see ya!

Well done, I could instantly tell from the summary you must have watched Underworld, that's one of my fav movies. It's a good introduction, they're so hard to do. . Plz continue, I'll be waiting for more chapters.

That's sort of weird, in the last paragraph you say the girl was pinned to the wall, and then all of a sudden she's free, hoisting Richard onto her back, and running for it. The part about her tripping on the cape is sort of weird too. Like why would she get a cape that she would possibly trip on when she fights a lot, especially in such a dangerous situation.
The beginning was okay, it was a lil bit awkward, like you described what happened, but then you do the "Boom, something happens" thing...and you introduced the girlfriend, but she doesn't seem...needed...iono...
Your story is pretty cool so far, a couple spelling mistakes/grammar, and that's it. The details are good, and you seem to know where you're going. The eye changing thing is really cool! You also describe things pretty well.

WAH! How dare you end a chapter like that! Evil, I say! EVIL! *cough* erm, yes...anyhoo, very very good. I like. A lot. I want to know who the chick is, she is cool. XD Keep writing! _~

Whoa, i love it so far. very similar to Underworld... *Thinks* AIYEE! I STILL NEED TO BUY IT! *runs around*
Maru: eh? well anyway, she did like it...
Ravage: GREAT CHAPTER! NEXT ONE PLEASE!
Ravage Blue

Dundundun... oh the evilness! You need to hurry and write more! Good job so far.