Reviews for Did You Ever
Infinite Smiles chapter 1 . 3/9/2004
I love this. Very insighful. All of the ideas work togetehr beautifully.
Seraphim of the Dark Moon chapter 1 . 2/2/2004
Not a bad poem, I feel like I'm listening to a tape recording.
Anyways, it's overall structure is I have to say far too shakey. From first almost till the last three lines the poem is veering off in all different directions. Making the conclusion vague and unfinished feeling.
The line with the pillow suggests more to horror, than works torward the conclusion with hope at the end. Personally I think this poem should be rethought and presented in a different format.
Uhm, as far as content goes, it's 68% all right. The hope at the end is the good part. A few other lines here and there with the "uplifting tone" should be taken out and made into something else. You could make one horror and one life/inspirational if you wanted to. But mixing them in together doesn't seem to work with the point you are trying to get across(that also leaves your conclusion a little too open ended, and not to the imagination either. Just open in general.)
Keep at it, it's a great start at work that have great potential. It does make you think but it needs to be a little more structured and organized.
Blessings, keep writing :-)
Ethereal Maybe chapter 1 . 2/2/2004
You've acomplished what every poet seeks to do. Your poem got me to stop and think. Great job.
~Ethereal Maybe