Reviews for especially
AntiPleasure chapter 1 . 2/22/2004
Good use of experimentation, looks like all of this is a piece of paper and you were just jotting down your thoughts of rambles hehe, but still a good job. Keep writing.
Jenna xx
aleppine chapter 1 . 2/19/2004
: ) It's nice to feel a more regular sense of your presence around here again.
I adore your experimentation. I adore coming here to read your work and being swept away.
There were so many things in this - rich writing, as usual, but it's late, and I'm only just recovering, so I'm going to be able to get into this as much in this review as I'd like. But it's going on in my head. SO going on.
The structure, the way the poetical forms break off or melt into the sections of pose, helps make it feel as though there are no interruptions. Skilfully done. But I've come to expect no less from you. : ) 'angry hiss of displaced air' - yum.
'The stars were runing away' ... 'on the balcony of two lovers talking with the shadows'. Beautiful imagery.
The inclusion of saffron and mulberries really really stirred me up inside. Being aleppine, both are so familiar. I miss mulberries. I remember stumbling upon a mulberry tree one summer in London, and not many people recognise it for what it is, and the fruit was ripe and just dripping to the floor. And I just stood there looking at it and was tranferred to another place. I wanted to carry that tree home.
This sent me spinning:
'And I worry that,
If I am not careful and the equilibrium is broken (oil into water, water into oil), there may never be another balance. Never another blackbird singing on moss-covered fences to say to me that a place—a home is definite and absolute.'
The note on liquids threw me just because of the poetry and because I am naturally fascinated with textures and consistencies and such, but the equilibrium section ... reminds me of fear of falling [black kiss for little raven]. 'to say to me that a place—a home is definite and absolute.' - This was the aleppine-igniter. This .. *doesn't have the words* I have big issues on home and its stability and immortality or set definitions and things right now ... and reading this made a snapping noise. The sound of an aleppine snapping.
'When I say that I’ll be waiting
It is not the first lie I’ve told.'
... makes me feel guilty with love. Yeah, it's gorgeous poetry, but it's also too close to what I'd been thinking a few days ago for a few weeks.
God save me from this lie. Give me strength to tell the truth ... *meep!*
This is beautiful. I'm only sorry I can't sit and more thoroughly analyse it right now. I love analysing your work. Feels like you've returned a different poet, for some reason.
Oh, and your review [another one for little raven] - you're not way off at all. Most of what you guessed was spot on accurate. Minus the nature of the seduction you mentioned. *laughs quietly* Nice to see people thinking into what they read enough to figure what's going on - sometimes I wonder.
I've been wanting to see her rise up again for a long time. And maybe she just has. : )
Kezkay chapter 1 . 2/6/2004
hmm, second reference to mulberries there. Do you like them? I've heard they smell nice, soothing and hearth-y. Murp, yeah. I like this experimentation- so much more open than simple poetry in the organized stanzas and whatnot. Very nice colors in this one, velvets...if that makes any sense. -kez
Kelpylion chapter 1 . 2/6/2004
If this was an experiment, it was assuredly a successful one. (Though my Biology teacher insists that any experiment carried out correctly can be called a success, because something is learned frpm it even when you discover that you were mistaken. But that's besides the point.)
Four-dimensioned brilliance? OOh, I love that, especially because of the way stargazing kind of pulls your mind back in time...maybe to when that streak of light hitting your eyes was first born...and racing through space, as quickly as light. Hm, such a thought-provoking line.
This formatting is a pure brilliance of pacing. The long stanzas are slow, with their shorter sub-stanzas working as an intermediate 'spacer' to the mind-blowing tangles of imagery and thought in the two VERY LONG lines. And then it slows again, becoming more lucid...
Have I mentioned yet how perfect and serene the imagery you've created is? An endless garden at twilight, compined with the thought of some great abyss (one which you are on the edge of) seems to give this complex theme of change, of teetering situations and trying to freeze time.
Beautiful.
Another Pseudonym chapter 1 . 2/6/2004
beautiful, from beginning to end.
this goes to my favorites.