Reviews for The Asylum
Peiper chapter 1 . 6/30/2004
I will admit, the only reason I read this was because of a certain potato loving vampire's comments. Overall I thought it was very good but a tad on the short side. It seems to me that someone was just angered at comments from someone they felt superior to. Oh well, keep writing you are great, I didn't review it, but your story about the turkey was amazing.
M.T. Stockton chapter 2 . 6/7/2004
Well, this is interesting so far. It's funny and flows very nicely. However, it's a tad on the short side and could use more descriptions, more details. You write well, though, and I look forward to reading more of this! Oh, and thanks for the review! BTW, the fourth letter is from Hephaestus, and the fifth is indeed from Apollo :o)
Esay chapter 2 . 5/28/2004
Well, the writing is pretty good, but where is the story? In these two chapters we really dont know much more than the story takes place in an insane asylum. Honestly, your writing style flows (meaning reads) very well and is enjoyable. I could do with a great deal more discription however, the room, the mood, the emotions, really anything(the story my live in your head, but to the rest of us the picture is pretty blank). The problem i have most with this story is the fact that (as I feared) it has turned into nothing but dialouge with little or no description of the world in which your characters are living, and, though the writing is good, there seems to be no real story develpoing. I would try to write more involved chapters so the reader can get involved and care about what they are reading. Still, I have to say you write very well, its just this story, which I wanted to see more of, is develping at less then a snail's pace (Perhaps i should just work on my patience.) Great story, but (pardon my french) Dammit, I need more!
(Also, there are a couple of typos and misplaced commas, but I dont really make a big deal about them (this is the internet after all and perfect grammar need not apply).
shameshame chapter 2 . 3/18/2004
Eww... I hate old people like her. Stupid snobby full of themselves... [grumbles off into the distance]
Random Person: Nutter...
shameshame chapter 1 . 3/18/2004
Whatta weird old dude... anyways, this was good. I'm gonna go read the next chapter now...
IrishVampire13 chapter 1 . 3/14/2004
I pay you a compliment, and this is the thanks I receive? I do not need constructive criticism; I am older than the majority of the people on this site, and have been writing since my childhood. In that span of time (I have just turned 24), I know my own strengths and weaknesses. I am about to be published; therefore I do not need the critiques of those who are a good deal younger-and, in most cases, less talented-than myself (you, personally, happen to be fairly good). Because of such disrespectful reviews as yours, I am taking into serious consideration the concept of removing my account from this website. I have no need to take even the *good* reviews. So why do I need to take ones that can't possibly be anything but nonsense? Because of your lack of respect, you no longer have the chance to review me.
And do you *honestly* think that, for my own safety, I would put up my email address? I already get loads of Spam; heaven only knows what freaks have tried to email me as it is. I keep my email private for safety's sake. Perhaps you don't realize this, but the Internet is not always a safe place.
As for not accepting anonymous reviews...A. I am not the only one on this site who refuses them. B. Would *you* accept anonymous reviews after having some fool call you a "shitty writer"? I was so crushed that I was not willing to give anyone a third chance-this occurred during the second chance.
Have a nice life. I will not be reviewing you again; nor will you be reviewing me again.
the killer queen chapter 1 . 3/14/2004
Sounds like a great beginning. Very clear, creative, and well written. But it sounds like there should be more to the there?
Crelian2202 chapter 2 . 3/11/2004
Kinda short overall, but I still like it. It is a rather interesting piece to read. ((Still no responce from the Vampire))
Esay chapter 1 . 3/7/2004
I like the idea, this could potenialy be worked out into a great story. Plenty of possiblities to say the least. Your writing style is great, not over the top and (finally)a healthy bit of description. I can't say too much more about it now, simply because not very much was written, but the insane asylum idea is great in itself.
kLc chapter 1 . 2/23/2004
Hey I've read a few of your stories and poems and I just wanna say that you have some real talent, but not so much when it comes to stories, stick to poems! I love them!
mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 2/15/2004
How very interesting... but i don't really get it... the decription adn all were good, i must be somewhat brain dead . good job~
~Never the same~
Crelian2202 chapter 1 . 2/14/2004
The only thing I found wrong with it is more of an opinion than anything. I hate using 'and so' but it does fit nicely. The only comment I have (as much as I know we both hate recieving it) is good job. I did not catch a single error. I would comment on the length, but I assume that you are planning on adding more by the way it ended. (Assuming has had a way of biting me in the butt though).