Well now let me see.
The humour of the story is based around somebody i know, umm (fairly large brick house with a white piket fence) now i could be wrong about who this is based upon. Anyway the story was mildly entertaining so good job.
Overall 8/10

It was well written, but the ending was lame.

Hm... Not to dull in my opinion. Good twist, anyway. The initial piece reads a bit oddly "Initially tense, he is at ease when the other man is only his good friend."
Other than that quite an interesting little story/skit.

i liked it. you were right, nice character development. please write more soon!

o_O lol, that was an interesting little read - neato character development exercise, too. Liked how you added their movements in, too, gave me a sense of who they were in this story )

I know I shouldn't review my own work, but man, I was on the edge of my seat in suspense there. Good job!