Reviews for Protector II
michelle chapter 19 . 6/6/2005
ur amazing. alrite bet u heard that loadz of times before.

aite. let me get on to my point : Djust read PI and PII in one day, well more like a coupla hours, and im jus blown away. well worth it. after readin PI i was thinkin, DAMN u cant have left it just like that but when i saw PII i cudnt hellp but be : Dok. total bullshit.u write with a style thats.. i duno, jus really captivating. and u do use a lot of hard vocabulary which is brill, it improves my vocab as well lol. but nah, its just i duno how to say this at all - really suck at explainin myself - but they way u write is realy unique. and the way u play with words, or the whole plot, everything! its just friggen brilliant. and thats why im totally hooked onto your stories i'm not really gona comment on all ur previous chaps, just this one. i really really wished that donnian wud tell aiur that he's fenix. i guess i just want aiur to know that the reason why she feels so connected to donnian right from the beginning, the reason why she fell in love with him so fast is BECOS he's her best friend, her love, fenix. guess im a sucker for romance like that : P i thought it was this chapter he'll tell her, like jus before he leaves or sth., but guess not, i'll keep on waiting and wishin' : D i'm glad she's finally admitted that she loved fenix, its a relief that she finally sees it. its sad, how their whole future was stripped way from them like that. and thats why i really want fenix just to tell her, and that for ONCE, the ending of this story will be happy! : D i feel they deserve it after everythin theyve both had to go thru. malloy.. damn from PI ive wanted to just pummel him and now i still do. altho since there was donnian/aiur in this chap i dont care as much at the MO, malloy never had any of that with aiur, and he never will! i'm so happy to see the old aiur coming back, slowly hiding less in her shell, opening up; missed her.. and now all i need is for fenix to come bounding back and tell her everything and for them to live happily ever after! LOL : Dguess i dream a BIT too much.

thanks for writing such awesome stories, hope you update soon. REALLY.

love, michelle.
Raomina chapter 19 . 6/5/2005
Wow...this story is so romantic. Really. Your writing is also very fluent and very beautiful. I learnt lots of new words just from this chapter alone. I am wondering, is he ever going to tell her that he is Fenix? I mean, I can't imagine what her reaction would be if he did. I really sympatize her though, having to go through all the heartbreak all over again over the same guy, even if she doesn't know it. Angela's a really great friend, supporting her throughout and trying to get through the walls Aiur built around herself. The plot of this story is really original and I've never came across one remotely like this. It is very enjoyable, though I do have to reread some parts over and over, with all the 'difficult' words you use. LoL. Anyway, just out of interest, how do you actually pronounce the name Aiur? Did you make it up or is there really such an unusual name? I have been trying to pronounce it throughout the whole story but they all came out really weird. haha. Oh, btw, your profile is a little out of date, you know, with the progress report on the stories. You probably know this, but well, just in case. Ok, enough said, your story is brilliant and I really wish you can update soon.
Raomina chapter 6 . 6/5/2005
Wow, intense feelings here from Fenix.
Raomina chapter 1 . 6/5/2005
A very soulful prologue.
Dirty Secret chapter 19 . 6/4/2005
Great, Great and...Great. Keep updating
Lithamis chapter 19 . 6/2/2005
Yes! Love ur story! I was SO waiting for Aiur and Donnian/Fenix to ... get together. PLEASE update soon! U left us with a little cliffhanger.

cozmic comic collector chapter 19 . 6/1/2005
3 days it only took for me to read your first story and this one! haw! i just wish i had found this awesome story sooner so i could make more comments!

anyway, so much to say. but i can't say alot because it's past 11 on a school night. so, with one word, i'll sum up a fraction of what i feel about this story:amazingboth stories made me so emotional, i was on the edge of my seat at most parts. i just wish he told her his real identity. i keep imagining all these romantic scenes where they're tightly embraces and she's crying tears of joy on his shoulder. *dreamy sigh* can't wait for next chappie!
newgurl chapter 19 . 6/1/2005
oh. my. gosh. bittersweet. sad. annoying.. i though you;d have him tell her who he really was... huhu.. depressing... articulate.. great job..:)
Hotkitty chapter 19 . 6/1/2005
yes, yes i am finalli here. i kan just SEE you jumpin up and down with joy at finalli getting a word from me. what can i say, im just so brilliant. *sigh* ive been realli mellowish/down recently, eck, thats probabli why ive been neglecting reviewing and emails. *huffs* if i get time straight after this ill email you, then ill catch up on my reviews, then ill finish the DH chapter. ahem. i started reading it but was kicked off before i could finish. all i have to say is KAIT ur an inspiration _ ive been getting loads of block recently and reading half of that DH chapter helped me get typing a little. and a littles good. a little turns into big... eventualli. ahem *cough* i WILL stay on track. now to talk about the chapter. ill press that pretti ickle enter key now so we can have a nice new paragraph about this chapter. after all, a rule about paragraphs :the three T's. Time, Talk, and topic. :P. heh...

Ok, rite, b4 i go on about the chapter i have to comment on you overall an. i couldnt stop LAUGHING wen i read that. 'this chapt...containz a "scene"' lol. the whole way you put scene in2 inverted commas made me lagh cause i could just imagine you saying it in that childish kinda way. lol. i hope i made sense there but...yeah...thats 1 thing that sticks in my mind. ahem. :) luckili i wasnt watching inuyasha b4 this chapt so fenix retained his normal look. :). but, seriousli, in the chapt b4 he DID look like a dog demon. i swear! anywayz, anything put bad images in UR head, dear. ur just dity minded like that. :P. wah. i probabli will still do that critical review thingie. wen i fell less lazy. maybe even 2day. depends on how much time i have.

I loved the opening to this chapter. hell, i always love your openings but i just thought id mention that. you could just FEEL the tension in the air and the way that you repeated the colour grey a few time, and there was white there as well and you mentioned her eyes looking like rolling fog, it created this picture of the setting. like, i could see them and there were a few trees but the colours were all pale and soft instead of harsh, and it was all foggy and rolling and soft but tense but then realli sweet. it was so romantic! heh. i hope i made sense there. you do know that, in this review, im going to randomly pick a few paragraphs and go in2 depth about them. heh. im lazy like that.

i loved the way they began the conversation. 'hi' it was the whole awkward teenagers thing from the last chapter. heh. and shes like 'things' lol, could u GET any vaguer. and the way she blushed because she so knew what her and angela had been talking about and it had been him and he was standing rite there and she was like damn. heh. then the whole wen he goes 'can i talk to you?' and shes like 'isnt that what we're doing?' that made me laugh cause it was witty, but cute. it showed that she hasnt totalli lost her cool and she just has, you know.

im skimming through the chapter now cause, as much as id love to talk about evry lil bit i dont have the time :P. heh. i found it funni, the bit where he goes 'the reason I wanted to get you out here wasn’t really to talk.” that bit sounded so dirty when i read it i couldnt help but laugh. :). anywayz, if he was going to tell her something that was still technicalli talking, rite? :P. hahah oh. she tilted her head. i love it when they tilt their heads. it looks so cool. i need to do that with lia some more. make her tilt her head. yes. MWAHAHAHAHAHA. ahem *sorri* my mums on the exercise bike and the cd players next to her and she just turned it on and shes listening to soco. weird. lol. as you sleep. oh. the DH chapter. as you sleep. wow! everything links together so nicely. ahem. i realli need 2 get 2 that chapter. aw. he said i love you and then she goes 'haha' omg. haha -that is SO what YOU would say. your obsessed with saying haha. actualli, you barely ever say lol. you say haha more. wow. realisation... wow. :D. conversation is just WAY too cute. my turn to haha. haha.

u know im still annoyed about the sex. i mean, how unromantic. he says he loves her and they jump in2 bed straight after :P. *huffs* men. heh. im sorri if im putting you down about it. i dont mean to! it was good, but I didnt want it 2 happen. but it did fit. and you wrote it realli well. so now that uve actualli done it i have to tell you that you did it brilliantly. and im sure that most ppl enjoyed it. im just not altogether high on the concept. i kan just hear you now going on about how its my age *rolls eyes* there was a time when i was in2 it, but i just got put off, you know? lol. i kan just SEE the wheels turning in ur head. no, dearie, i didnt get put off cause of experience. *rolls eyes* what do you take me for? thats rhetorical, btw. i dont wanna know what ud say in answer to that.

“Then memorize me,” she said, her voice low, her gaze running over his body, igniting all the flames anew, insinuating so much, too much. “All of me.”LOL. omg. that is such a...whats the word...theres onyl one word i kan think of comment. i mean, whoa. its liek in the titanic wen rose goes 'i want you to draw me with this necklace on' and hes like ok and then shes like 'ONLI this necklace.' LOL.

ooh repetition. nothing else mattered. hmn. nice. i loved the thing about the flower floating to the floor. it adds so much more depth into it. like, the flowers all pure and what theyre about to do *glares* just isnt hehh. trust me 2 twist something like that. *grins* ahem. dearie. i think you need 2 change the rating of this fic. cause seriouli, lil children shouldnt be reading this. :P. i liked the thing about the candle flickering in the darknes... pretti. and trust YOU of all ppl to make something as crude as sex poetic. and, yes, the dance thing WAS dirty. and you talked about the sweating. eww. how do you KNOW all of these details, hun? im extremeli curious now...

i reckon hes a coward, for leaving that is. and he didnt even tell her he wasfenix. i mean, he jsut had sex with her and he couldnt even tell her something as simple as that. thats a bit sad of him, isnt it? i reckon angela knows, tho. but im not sure, you seem to be hinting at it.

On her pillow lay a single evening-primrose.

aw. what a cute way 2 end the chapter. :). you didnt mess it up and u wrote it bur U tee fully. :). so dont stress over it. my fave chapter is still that 1 with the lil bedroom scene,tho. nothing can ever beat that chapt 4 me. :D. wellz, i g2 ttyl now. this review better be up2 ur satisfaction considering how long it took me 2 write it. i mite not email u know, depends on how much time i have. ive got laods 2 do. :P. i loved the chapter, overall, tho. and you BETTER update soon. else i kill u. and i kan help u out with it if u want, if ur stuck, that is. and we kan figure it out in a way that u wont give away the plot 2 me. :P. ttyl. *huggles* bi
James chapter 19 . 5/29/2005
I know I’m slow. Sorry.

This is probably the most un-mental-picture-able chapter I’ve read so far. I try to mentally picture everything, like where the people are, the body posture, their surrounding, and the people around them looking at them, the weather, furniture, etc. Usually you describe the surrounding very well and I don’t have to do much brainwork, so I amuse myself by picturing innocent bystanders doing their own things, or little animals and insects scurrying about if there’s nobody else present. But this time, even though there are a lot of stuff that I could imagine, most of it came out blurred, or all dark. I did manage to picture everyone in the ballroom raising their eyebrow at Angela when she blocks the door, and also everyone gawking/whispering at Fenix/Aiur as they walk back into the room.

I don’t think you intended this, but I find that this was one of the funniest chapter you’ve had for PII. Wait, of COURSE you didn’t intend this. But then again, I NEVER grasp any of your stuff the way you intended, so, not surprised P I think the “How old am I again?” was a good touch. Did you ever really tell us how old Fenix was? When I read that I was actually quite distracted, and thought for quite some time how old he really was. But the dramatic value of that one line struck me hard…it was as hilarious to me as Knox’s “I pick it up and I throw it”, which I’m sure you’ve heard Aron and me use it countless times already. Angela blocking the door is pretty funny too, just imagine all the people look at her, and her smiling apologetically at the people and shaking her head, keeping her arms firm around the door…but the funniest scene of all, I think, was when Fenix got bitten. It was so intense, and there’s so many angles through which I can look at your text, and I was quite fascinated at how you can describe something such as this so seamlessly and your words can mean so many different aspects of this story at once…and then all of a sudden she bites him. That really made me almost fall off my chair, and my dad beside me was like “Dude, whatchu reading…” and yeah. I believe it’s one of the moments that I cherish the most out of all your writings. Yes I’m strange, live with it.

I actually felt a tinge of sorrow when Fenix felt that he’s no longer Fenix. One of the things I’m looking forward to most is the day when he finally reveals to Aiur that he’s really Fenix, and not Donnian. Donnian? Psh, who’s Donnian? Exactly! I guess I may be a romantic purist, I feel that since Fenix was the one Aiur falls in love with in PI, he should be the one she lives happily ever after with, not him in another identity that she doesn’t know. For a long time I thought this chapter would be the chapter in which he at last reveals himself, but guess not, I’ll keep waiting.

Keep it up! Though I’m slow on the review, I will read it as fast as you update it. Your domain, you rule! D
Perfect Bliss chapter 19 . 5/28/2005
OH MY GOD! This is awesome! is beautiful I completely love it. How could I define every fiber your amazing story had touched in me? I love your way of writing is so pure, so deep! Please update soon, this was so sweet and sad. Poor Aiur and poor Fenix :( I LOVE THIS! CONGRATULATIONS! :D
em3e chapter 19 . 5/27/2005
I've spent part of the first day of my summer [Hooray, no more eighth grade] reading your stor(ies)y. Normally, I wouldn't take a minute of my time to read a story that was online, particularly a romantic one [I have NOTHING against romantic stories! I just have trouble with the romantic stories that have ABLSOLUTELY NO PLOT]. My friend kept nagging me for days to read it, even through finals week. However, when I read it, it dazzled me. The story was so well written that I was even compelled to say a hello [HELLO!].You draw out so much emotion and sound so professional. Your characters live and breathe. The internal struggle your characters face is a little heart-wrenching, though. I hope the conflict is resolved soon. I can't stand sad endings [That's why I didn't want to watch any more Star Wars movies after I found out that the awsome Anakin turned [EVIL :rawr:].It's kind of hard to picture electronics in a story where princesses still exist. That's just me. I have trouble with "alternate universe" worlds [If you could call it that]. Why, where is this story taking place?
kiki chapter 19 . 5/23/2005
you meanie. you made me cry. please don't let fenix leave!
kiki chapter 18 . 5/23/2005
i love this story so much! angela is awesome.
starwars chapter 19 . 5/23/2005
.that was another amazing is fenix going to tell her who he really is? is aiur really going to marry malloy? love your juicy long chapters:)update soon ok? can't wait
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