Reviews for Protector II
joanna m. w chapter 18 . 5/1/2005
Okay I just about LOVED that chapter. It was worth the wait, and I don't blame you if you take a while to update. Angela seems like an amazing and fun friend to be with. I don't remember who this Hayden character is tho.. Are him and Angela together? Well maybe I'll remember him later on. Fenix receiving his orders of leaving just about brought me to tears and a bunch of nerves on the spot. He just can't leave, no, not again. Aiur better not be stupid and let this chance pass her by like Angela said. I really do hope this story ends all cliche-ish happily ever after like for Fenix & Aiur or else I WILL cry. I'm really glad I found this story (and the previous), my life just wouldn't be the same without them, lol. You're doing a brilliant job with this and I swear/bet you're going to end up being published and I will be the first in line to buy your books! till my next review..

black rose
writtenreality chapter 18 . 5/1/2005
great chapter! ooh i can't wait to see what happens.. stupid malloy, probably would have. eww.. shudder. Ok great work!
Lukertin chapter 18 . 5/1/2005
Finally, took you long enough!

Now, I've been wondering why you chose names from Starcraft...
mauvais ide chapter 18 . 5/1/2005
YOU EVIL! hurry up with that chapter, you hear? very good chapter
Callie Rose chapter 18 . 5/1/2005
I'm about to blow up! How could you stop it there? How? It hurts me that you did! I need this story, I crave an update almost as much as I do chocolate! ah! You're driving me insane! I must kno what happens! Need to kno! Can't live without it!

Ranting done and over with. I really enjoyed this chapter. I sympathize for Fenix b/c he has to leave Aiur. And I still wanna kill Malloy, that urge won't ever subside. never ever. And Aiur finally realizes that she loves Fenix and Donnian. Can't wait til she realizes that they're the same man. Hehe. I'm so excited to see the reactions. Question for you! About how many more chapters will this be? And I pray it has a happy ending, otherwise I will have to hunt you down and force you to re-write it. lol. I like how Angela got Aiur to admit her love. It was perfect and both sad at the same time cuz they don't have much time.

So you had better update soon!

Luv ya!

LeenaAmara chapter 18 . 5/1/2005
O.O Meep...unbelievable, talk about a twist! Certainly not what I expected! AMAZING! Please write more soon!
bridgette261 chapter 18 . 5/1/2005
haha he wants to "go to her room" LOL so tell i am still confuzzled, who are all the different groups? aw! he should be all "I am Fenix!" lol that would be the cutest thing ever! and i wouldn't even kill you if you left that as a cliffy. the more chapters, the more reviews!

anatidaephobiac chapter 18 . 5/1/2005
don't worry about the slowness so much. as long as we EVENTUALLY get an update, that's all we can ask for. Plus there are lots of authors who update slower for you (me for example :P)anyway, I just went out and bought this AMAZING display case for fenix. it's all new state of the art, sturdy as hell. its PERFECT for him. so tell him to come on over anytime. he'll love it (there's a built in hot tub...) and he doesn't have to stay in it forever... he can just use it when he comes to visit me. since he really lives with you and all.
mel chapter 14 . 4/29/2005
Please update soon. This is an awesome story and i love it a lot.
someone chapter 17 . 4/25/2005
i'm going to flip out if you do not update soon. please i'm begging you update!
gum is yum chapter 17 . 4/24/2005
You haven't updated since FEBRUARY? AH! Update ASAP and I mean it!
hehe chapter 17 . 4/24/2005
ah, please update soon how long is it going to take for her to find out who Donnian actually is? update! update!
Nala Ether chapter 17 . 4/24/2005
i'm sorry for what was actually a flame that i sent last week. i got someone to check over it and they said that my complaint was not really valid. i'm sorry if i caused any undue hard feeling toward you over said review. i still stand by my saying that puting reviewer replies at the beginning of a chapter is not good for readers but i can understand if you don't (or simply can't be bothered) to change your ways (though u do put the replies at the bottom of the page in Dark Hunter) - but fair enough. please email me and tell me if i'm forgiven. i anticipate your response and maybe even an update to this excellent story.
dwilivia chapter 17 . 4/24/2005
you must update! haha. i liked this chapter.
Nala Ether chapter 17 . 4/17/2005
i really like this story, but i absolutely hate a number of things about your formating and general accessibility of this story. (yes i do have pms but if you don't sort out this problem for all your stories i will report this as abuse).1. the overly excessive thanking of your reviewers. an acknowledgement of your reviewers is good, but when they in essence take up approx 25% of the words in the completed story (if not more) you aren't doing your readers a services and are making out your story to be something it is not (ie longer then what it is). what gets me about this is, aside from the terrible grammar and spelling, is that you place it at the beginning of the chapter. i really really hate is a diservice to your loyal readers who have to painstakingly go through up to a third of the chapter just looking for the beginning of the chapter-proper. this discourages the reader from reading if there is updue effort needed to be expelled to read a simple story - new readers will go else where discouraged by overly long reviewer replies taking up the entire chapter.

as i said earlier, i have enjoyed the protector stories - a revision of the first one does seem in order (even if it is just to take out the reviewer replies). i feel your writing has steaderly gotten more mature and the plot and characters more complex but has i said before you need to fix the reviewer replies (it would probably take 20,0 - 30,0 words of the final word total if you did (and get people who don't read long fics into reading your stories because they are worth reading)). lol

you can still have reviewer replies - have a shoot out to all the reviewers (in a separate chapter) at the end of the story and make special mention of the more encouraging reviewers - but don't make it too excessive. re the reporting abuse to - on i know they have a rule that you can't have excessive replies to reviewers and separate chapters as shout outs to reviewers (or to update them on the status of the fic)and i'm sure have a similar system.

this has beeni getting up my craw when i read your stories and have finally gotten my act together to raise this issue with you. i look forward to your reply to this. email me about your response (how about instead of reviewer replies here, have a separate website for that or email reviewers after you get the review alert)well i hope you are able to take this unretrained critisism to heart and slightly modify you ways (even if it were only to but replies at the BOTTOM of the chapter NOT the TOP!)thanks, have a good day
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