I like this story a lot. It's a little weird, but quite good. Keep up the good work. Oh, and I want to vote for Josh, because he's so sweet to her, and that's exactly what she needs, someone sweet and kind.

She should be with Josh.

JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH

I really like your plotline. I hope that it works out for you. Oh, and I want to vote for JOSH!

I would like to vote for Josh. You have a good story, but there is a lot of editing to be done both for grammar and content. A lot of the details aren't realistic.

Good so far, just a few things I would change. First, I doubt they would rent a car to minors, but I don't know the French laws. And second, I speak a little French and I don't know how much you know, but some of the grammar sounded wrong to me. I'm voting for Josh.

I’m back with my list of things you ought to check out! It starts off at the beginning and is in a chronological order. That way you don’t have to scroll through the whole chapter to find the things I’m pointing out. I’m not saying that these are all perfectly correct, but it’s how I would phrase the sentences.

Anxious about tonight (not for); I’ve never cared about (not for) a girl like Allison before; She knows when the time to have fun or be serious (the sentence doesn’t make sense like that); for (sp); I bet you haven’t prepared your clothing or transportation for tonight yet, have you?; A little surprise, ya know?; A random “ exists at the end of ‘Would have to get done’; Cameron had called before; (and – shouldn’t be there) in the end; Kale, despite his rage, gently (not gentle); to wrap them (not it); cursing out the salesman out (?); Wait a minute, sir, I’ll…; What you want, sir; daydreaming again, I see; composure (not composer, that’s like a music composer…); they rode (not road); Cameron led Allison (not lead); Before Allison could ask the man to speak in English makes more sense; helped Allison with her’s; An (not a) extra long; (a – shouldn’t be there) pleated pants; straps fromed a “v”; I never knew he could be; looked like a good idea to know it; Cameron nervously fumbled, taking her hand gently (another gentle thing); When I first met you, however (you forgot the comma); But I think you summarized the feelings much better (you can’t have way and much one after the other like that. ‘Way better’ makes it sound very slangy, but you choose between the two words)

On to the French now! As I said in my other review, most of your sentences cannot be said in that way in French. Did you invent the name Plats Romantiques? If you didn’t, no one here, including myself, has ever heard of it.‘Bienvenue chez Plats Romantiques.’‘Quand est-ce que nous pourrons nous installer’ instead of ‘pouvons nous être assises bientôt’ which doesn’t work at all in French.‘De cette façon’ means ‘in this way’ as in ‘walk in this way’ etc. What you want to say is ‘Veuillez venir par ici.’‘Je voudrais une soupe de Glace Vichyssoise pour l’apéritif, puis pour le repas principal je prendrais un Carré…’

What's more, we're in Paris. Paris is in France. The characters are 16. They may well be allowed to drive in the States, but in France no one under 18 is allowed to drive unaccompanied by an adult who has had their permit for over 2 years. It doesn't matter that they passed their liscence in the States, they're still not allowed to drive over here. Because of this, you may want to change parts of the chapter. Else your characters would probably be arrested by the Parisian 'gendarmes' and thrown into prison for at least one night... They Parisian gendarmes are very strict, that's why they send a whole bunch of them to where I live during the tourist season...Damien!

Ok. I have a whole big long list of corrections of mini mistakes that you've made in this chapter. I don't have the time to type it up right now, but I'll do it as soon as I can for you to correct it.I've also decided to correct your French. I want to say thanks for that too. Once I understood what you were trying to say, it gave me a laugh. Most of your sentences cannot be said like that in French though. After all, French isn't just a translation of English.I'll put it all on here later .

Interesting...

woah...wow...i knew he wasn't proposing but...it was so like it...the guy in my story it called Damien! woah! lol nothin just coincidence... n-eway...i love all ur chappiez so update soon!

keep up the awesome work

damien

Aww, thats so cute how Cameron took her out like that! _ So sweet! It was also nice of how the other guys helped him out. I hope you write more soon!

DAMIEN!

OMG! who is she gonna choose? no offense but i'm glad jason didn't win!

Damien - But what a freaking jackass of a Manager!