Ah! Nice chapter. The plot thickens quite progressively and in a way, it's rather interesting to see how each character reacts in different ways. There are a few funny lines that made me smile, which is pretty well done. _
There's one thing that you might want to consider changing though, which I may have mentioned previously, is to make a new line whenever a new character is speaking. This way, it won't be so confusing as to who is talking and what is happening.
Keep up the good work! _

*gasp* Oh,boy! Two people (whatever you call them) dead in the first three chapters! Woah. The first person I killed was in the 5th. But then again my story sorta had to lead up to it so... The only thing I would suggest working on is spacing out the pargraphs a little. It makes them easier to read. Thanks for sending me an e-mail! I really appreciate it! Hey if you have a sec, check out my first story on here 'My life in A minor'. It's not bad, if I say so myself. ; )
"May you live wisley and well and may you update often." -Myself

Go, Moonflicker! (the Stryoka, I mean)
Erm...why did Kilijambaro abdicate? He wasn't about to die, was he? Or...*Elrond-ish confused look* I just confused myself. *sighs* Ah well. *grins*
Good story! Keep going!
Namarie,
Mac

Not bad...although you might want to explain their species a bit more. There were only a few spelling errors, but lay off the exclamation marks. One is enough.

Very imaginative! I thoroughly enjoyed your descriptions although I'm still a little unclear as to exactly what they are. Lion-like creatures, I presume. Really well done for a first story. Really well done for any story! Congrats!
"May you live wisley and well and may you update often."

Lol, excellent start off! I love this story! I actually laughed when I read to this part: "Apello first got to the rocks he saw Moetatsu look back and stick out his tongue at him."
But I was rather shocked to see that Kilijambaro died in the end. What is going on? What happened!
Haha... Good job. I believe that this tale will progress smoothly. I await the next chapter.