Now, it seems to be getting interesting. I hope you'll update. But I seriously LAWLed at the words "little girl". Remember that time I was walking in the parking lot at Market Basket and you drove up behind me and said, "Hey, little girl. Do you want a ride?" In the most creepiest voice ever? Surely, by now you know who I am. _~

Oh, did he watch her as she was sleeping? How Edward-like. Sorry for all the references. I'm just analyzing your story more than I usually do. LOL.

Strange, I sense an Edward's aversion to a Bella? Good God. NO! _ Just kidding.

Hm, who could this anonymous reviewer be? LOL. Kind of a dramatic beginning, but I like it.

Here from the Roadhouse.

I like this opening - I think that the letter is perhaps a shade clumsy (I doubt a real solicitor's letter would contain so many details). Perhaps if you had a letter from the solicitior, a TV news report, a coroner's report, a police officer telling the narrator, a newspaper etc. etc. that would provide a short of patchwork of information.

I do like the little domestic details in the story - the cereal, the reading of R&J. This grounds the piece that (according to the summary) will soon spiral off into vampires etc. We need this grounding to make the fantastic seem all the more fantastic - so, well done!

This is only a short piece, and so it is difficult to say more. It's very good, and interesting - and I look forward to more.

Pay it forward!

This is a really great story. I hate the author though. Shes a thorn in my side! Haha.

Another excellent chapter. The unwelcomed characters (Selene and Trent) seem to have a sense of haunting, eerie sense to them that makes this story very intriguing and it captivates you.

Once again, a marvelously written chapter, and I won't comment on how slowly written these chapters are because wonderful chapters take time...

This really is an excellent plot- please continue soon! You portray Cye really well- I love him! You don't really tell us much about Madison- maybe you should elaborate a tad more. Other than that- great!

Also, please R&R my own story, Irys- under Young Adult

This is superbly entertaining. I know it's not over: keep writing, please. I want to know if she's projecting her desires on a complete stranger or if something truly weird is happening. Oo~, spooky. Sorry, I've got no names for you.

There are a few iffy spots with Cye where you're telling rather than showing, such as when you explain that he hates to read. You could have just used dialogue to imply that.

I love the whole thing with the strange man, though, but not with Cye teasing her about it. It's boring.

I really think that this could be good.

Curious... M.

okay, you have to keep writing this wicked good.

This is very addictive, now you must post the next chapter or I'm going to sign up for a room at the insane asylum for going insane just contemplating who this attractive person Maddi is so set on seeing, now you don't want to see me in an asylum now do you - even though you don't know me?

I feel really sympathetic towards Maddi for more than one reason

1.) For losing both her parents( even though it was her step-mom)

2.) She has to deal with her (HOT! [please disregard my comment on Cye because I'm seeing him in my own visual ways])cousin who is unsuccessfully trying to console her

and 3.) Because she couldn't get to find her mystery guy.

This is really well written (and I'm not trying to biased!) and I would like to see an UPDATE to this story! and KEEP this STORY going...

very interesting so far! Id like to read more!

until next time

SS