Reviews for Barren Beauty
Infinite Smiles chapter 1 . 3/9/2004
You did a wonderful job at capturing a characteristic of Truth. Well done. Very honest and creative poem.
les yeux est parasseux chapter 1 . 3/9/2004
"Truth is a barren sort of beauty-
a cleanliness of form and line."
Would it be cheesy to say that the beauty of it is that those lines ring so true?
lyv
PM20 chapter 1 . 2/26/2004
Very nice, I like your use of nature elements and color. Thanks for the advice on Flowing Dream, I'm gonna re-work it and try to make it flow better. Review it again if ya get the chance.
Dante Gemini chapter 1 . 2/26/2004
Excellent poem.
gaile chapter 1 . 2/25/2004
That was a very lovely poem
Lady Saleci Loramma chapter 1 . 2/25/2004
Simply beautiful. Every line offers another piece of imagery that is crafted which such skill that one can truly see it. Keep writing. -LSL
Seeker of the Way chapter 1 . 2/25/2004
THIS is amazing. Not only that, but it is SO VERY CLOSE to being in a standard poetic structure! I would edit this a little more and you would have an even better poem! My style unfortunately leaves me little room for stansdard structure. BUt, what I would do first is to make every line the same line of syllables. The easiest way to do this would be to make them all eight, nine, or perhpas ten. For example, I would do "cast blue shadows onTO the snow" see? That also helps the meter! That is only 8, where as line 1 and line 9 are 9. I only see that almost rhyme of "snow" and "glow darkly", that is fine, no need to rhyme! I would also show it to a teacher . Actually, your profile does not give an age, but your writing makes me think you may be almost finished with college or long seen it pass. So, there you are! Beautifully poetic, with great meaning and visual descriptions. This reminds me of the kinds of poems I reaad in my college poetry class - good job!