|Reviews for Outcasts|
| faerie-gumdrops chapter 33 . 8/14/2004
Woah long chappie! I'll review it as I go! Lol methinks this'll take a while.
Yay Edge! I do love him so, poor old Edge being bored out of his mind with nothing to do! I like the way that he thinks about Sky and Autumn's relationship too. Ooh the window's open! I wonder who came in! Even though I don't want him to get hurt, at least Edge has something to do now! Ooh nasty Konoichi following him all the way to Sky's house! Yay Sky to the rescue! 'Talk about good timing' - totally agree!
Ooh Sky is getting more and more mysterious! So he's a lot more highly skilled than Edge first thought! That was a clever thing that he did to the konoichi's arm, well it serves her right for attacking Edge. 'She almost killed me – and she kneed me!' - hehe poor Edge! Ooh how strange that she's answering the questions so easily. I wonder if Edge is right about Reizoko being a good man, I think that I believe what Rain is saying, and I wonder who was murdered. I'm glad that Sky stopped Edge from torturing Rain, and that whole bit about the questionaire was funny. I like the way that Sky only fights 'to protect others' and how he doesn't kill. He seems like quite a good guy. Ooh I wonder what he meant when he began to say 'Maybe I - I could'. Aww poor Edge being compared to Shade! Even though Sky has a point, I don't think that Edge is like Shade - he's too nice! I'm glad that Edge feels that Sky can understand him, even though he thinks that Sky is wierd. Ooh it was really lucky that none of those needles touched Edge, wasn't it!
Oh no Rain died! i actually kinda liked her! I wonder why she commited suicide so quickly. Aww Edge misses Strife! Walker seems interesting and I wonder who Dahlia is. Oh I see, she was the girl who was raped! Still, I wonder what Walker has done to annoy Sky. '"a big, long staff, so you can compensate for something, right?" ' hahaha go Edge.
Argh Dahlia is Kaede! What a twist! Yay I love twists! I wonder if Strife will meet her again - that would be v interesting!
| faerie-gumdrops chapter 32 . 8/14/2004
Heylo! Sorry it took me so long to review this chapter, I've been on holiday for the past few weeks and I wanted to wait till I got enough time to review both of ur new chappies at once. Anyway now I'll get on to the actual review...
Aww poor Strife in a mood about Rush! It's sad that he feels so jealous of Rush when really Siren only had feelings for him! I like the description of Strife and Rush's past relationship too with each other concerning Kaede, it does a lot to explain why they hate each other so much. I do feel very sorry for Strife being so angry with Siren and Rush. I also really like the description of the forest as Strife goes through it, I think your description is really good and vivid.
Ooh Viper's back again! Grr I really don't like her, especially the way that she acts so smugly about Strife feeling rejected by Siren. Hehe go Strife for kicking her mwahaha. She's so patronizing to him! Viper does seem to know a lot about Strife, I wonder if she is his mother or not. I do admire Strife's courage when the other Ineban come out and protest against him joining, and I'm glad that he could set them straight about how he's not useless. Ooh I wonder what Viper's going to make Strife do! It can't be too nice if it makes the bandits laugh can it. Ooh I have a bad feeling. Poor old Strife, he's stuck in a horrible situation already! For all Viper's faults though, I reckon that she's actually quite a good leader, she's really good at exerting her power over Silvereye when he threatens Strife.
Ooh Silvereye has a lil sis! I actually kinda like Iris and how she acts around Strife. Vipers test certainly sound horrible, I wonder what she made Iris do.
Ooh interesting that the Ineban dug that trench. Zetsumei's arrow is also really interesting, and I like the whole idea of it shooting down the Pheonix every autumn. I wonder if it really is the arrow or a coincidence. I wonder what Viper was talking about and who the 'her' is. Aww poor Iris getting slapped! Viper really is very mean. I'm glad that Strife stopped Viper from slapping her again.
| daphnegray78 chapter 18 . 8/13/2004
Well, Edge's got some...spirit, to say the least. I just hope he doesn't piss of his Clan anymore. They might try to exile him or something, for crying out loud.
Good, chapter, though. :)
| daphnegray78 chapter 17 . 8/13/2004
You really like cliffhangers, don't you? *laughs* Ah, well...it's obviously working, seeing as how I can't seem to stop reading!
| daphnegray78 chapter 16 . 8/13/2004
Ooh, another cliffhanger. o.O You're killing me here...you know this, right?
| daphnegray78 chapter 15 . 8/13/2004
Ooh, cliffhanger. o.O
| daphnegray78 chapter 14 . 8/13/2004
*laughs* Yay for her! I'm glad she finally exiled him...but I'm even more glad that she didn't stoop down to his level and kill him.
*On another lil note* Aww, how cute...she has an admirer! :)
| daphnegray78 chapter 13 . 8/13/2004
Yay! She beat the Shukar! Go, her!
Hmm...I wonder what was on Edge's back that startled Konishi so...
Great chapter, by the way. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
| daphnegray78 chapter 12 . 8/13/2004
Whoa. Cool fight scene. :p
| daphnegray78 chapter 11 . 8/13/2004
*laughs loudly* Oy. Edge's last line just cracked me up. I litereally laughed out loud, I don't normally do that when I'm reading. As always, great work!
| daphnegray78 chapter 10 . 8/13/2004
Aww. What a nice family. *On another note* In my opinion, I hope she exiles the former Shukar...he's getting on my nerves.
| daphnegray78 chapter 9 . 8/13/2004
"But she knew the answer, in fact she had insisted on coming with her parents. She had wanted to see the arrogant Strife suffer a blow and rendered weak and helpless. He had beaten her so many times and just once she wanted to see him defeated. But now he was no Warrior, he was just a boy, in pain and close to death."
That paragraph was my favorite. The emotions that Siren felt were extremely realistic for her rival. I really liked the way you described it.
Awesome work here!
P.S. In my last review, of chapter eight, I mean to say Strife instead of Shade...I didn't catch it until I had already submitted my review. My bad...
| daphnegray78 chapter 8 . 8/13/2004
Hm...interesting chapter. I like Edge's reaction to Shade's touch...it was very realistic for someone who had been abused as a child. I also liked the way he covered up for it...even though I wish he would eventually tell Shade what happened to him. Overall, I really liked this chapter. Good work!
| Loki Mischeif-Maker chapter 10 . 8/13/2004
Oh, good chapter.
I like the way we can see that Siren's having a hard time being the first female Shukar, rather than you just telling us, and the details of her family were also good.
I see we've been brought back to the beginning time.
| theatreoftheabsurd chapter 33 . 8/12/2004
You're right, this is one hell of a long chapter - they're going the same way as your reviews _. (thanks for that monster massive one, by the way.) Anyway, time to review your chapter... that I should have done before - sorry about that.
Aw, Edge is bored - I know the feeling... can I distract him? *grin* I can really understand why he's bored, though - he's just not the type for inner quiet and meditation, is he?
And guess what? His wish is granted... sort of. I suppose keeping yourself alive is something to do. *cough*
Ooh, another fight scene. Yay. *was watching film with lotsa martial arts in last night and is all fired up* And Edge has no clothes on. Somehow I'm not quite as concerned about this as I should be _
"Where is that son of a bitch?" Hm, I like the way Edge's language is degrading with physical exertion... reminds me of me. *is lazy as hell* Did I mention I love the way your people actually HURT when they're in a fight? You make the exchange of blows actually painful to read (in a good way, of course) - much more realistic. Huh - everyone ALWAYS forgets to look up. It's a human 'I'm taller than everyone' psyche thing.
"The needles sunk into the ground"? Nice image, but I thought he was inside. Or is the floor dirt?
"Oh... you're a GIRL dragon!" - sorry, I couldn't resist. Wow, she's determined to kill him, coming after him still injured like that. Actually, if she's working for Shade, I can probably understand why she wouldn't want to disobey his orders.
And Sky comes to the rescue. He's certainly full of surprises today. Nice explanation of the papirusu plant etc, it's often hard to fit things like that in smoothly, but you've managed it fine.
"Just who the hell is he?" - just the question I was asking myself... *ponders* Eheh, you can tell he's a doctor - I like the way he uses his knowledge to disarm her - that was a nice and reasonable (that is, it makes sense) addition.
"I almost died" - good use of shock here, makes Edge more human.
Hmm - how did Sky strike the match? I find it hard enough with two hands lol *breaks all matches*
"And she KNEED me!" - hehehe. Love it.
Rain... that's a nice name. I was thinking of using it, actually. Damn. _
Hm, mysterious cryptic information from her, too. Reizoko had people murdered? *blink* The plot thickens and gathers together, like lumpy custard... hehe.
Ouch. "Interrogating." - Edge really does feel a little... unbalanced. Torturing is not good! I like this section, especially the confrontation between Sky and Edge. Sky's serenity is almost inhuman. But then perhaps he's used to dealing with difficult patients.
And now a strange change in character. "What is with this guy?" exactly. I can't figure him out - but then I suppose that's the idea you're going for. Mm, expected reaction from edge upon being compared to Shade, but I like the way you turned that predictability into a test from Sky. A lot of what Sky does seems to be a test... grr, I don't like being confused by people.
"So what you’re saying is, I’m fine – ow!" - hehe, sounds like me. *falls over on floor, still insisting she is perfectly healthy*
"He was not surprised to see yellow paste." - no, neither was I. _
"He only had an advantage over Shade when he lost control" - why? Beserking isn't really that much of an advantage, especially if you can't be shaken out of it when something unexpected turns up.
Hmm... that was a nice evasive answer from Sky about his power - I wonder if there's anything more to it, or if anything ever went wrong.
"I’ll be sleeping in the couch in the common room if someone else tries to kill you." - great line.
'pant legs'...? - what the - oh, TROUSERS... right, sorry, English *points at self* Pants are knickers/underwear in this country - I was momentarily very confused. _
Yeah, I was thinking she took her own life quite quickly... mysterious... *murder mystery music* Detective Inspector Edge... heh.
"It’s probably too much to hope that he hasn’t done anything stupid lately…" - lol, yeah, pretty much, Edge. Ah, we know dear Strife well, don't we?
Hm, Sky doesn't seem to like Walker - therefore I'm inclined not to trust him... since I think Sky's got fairly good judgement... And he seems like a little bit of a smug bastard. Nice going with creating unspoken tension in this scene.
"Injured strays" - no, I don't like him... definitely don't like him... Don't you insult my Edge, you bastard! *bares teeth* *ahem*
"a big, long staff, so you can compensate for something, right?" - LOL yay Edge! *laughs*
Sky is really quite scary. It works so well because he's so calm most of the time, I think. Nice, nice work - I'm really and honestly unnerved by his abrupt display of power and emotion. _
I think Edge linked Dahlia to Kaede a little quickly...
But saying that - I love past linking to future! It's such a great feeling to go 'Ohh... yeaahh..." *snaps fingers* (but that's probably just me in my weirdness.)
Yay! Another Edge chapter - and of course I haven't forgotten there's a flipping plotline... *sigh*
Question - if the reiki fire doesn't damage the table, why are both Edge and Walker afraid of it? Is it just because they weren't aware it was harmless, or because it isn't harmless. In the case of the latter, why didn't it damage the table? (that was long-winded. Sorry. Basically, what's the reiki fire? eheh.)
And I can't wait to find out the saga of Kaede.
- sofi x
"He wanted to do nothing more than curl up into fetal position and groan" - you need an 'a' or a 'the' before 'foetal' - eheh, notice I spell it the PROPER way... lol. _~
"I...suppose…but what makes you think she didn’t suicide?" - you missed 'commit' before suicide.
"She would’ve never willingly left with a man" - This is just myv preference, but I think it sounds better as 'She never would've willingly left'.
"Her Name is Kaede." - is 'Name' supposed to be capitalised?
"and after nothing the location of the fireplace, rested his eyes on Sky." -just a typo... 'noting', rather than 'nothing?'