Reviews for Outcasts
F. Teague chapter 10 . 4/13/2004
I think Siren should just KILL the bastard (Kinoshi. But then, Kinoshi and bastard are synonymous, aren't they?). Anyhow... Not that my opinion matters. I think my bloodlust could match Edge's. Heh heh. Yeah, right. I'm just a cuddly little puppy dog *mouth twists in distaste* Then again...perhaps not. 'Til next time!
F. Teague chapter 9 . 4/13/2004
Hey, this doesn't exactly have much to do with your tale ('cept for the fact that this is a review), but how do you get the italics up? I've tried to use them several times, with the HTML and on notepad, but it didn't work for me. So...if you could tell me what you did, I'd be much obliged xD
F. Teague chapter 8 . 4/13/2004
I found a spelling error! Uh-oh... I mean, it's one of those annoying typo demons, but still! Your story's too good to have any errors *nods firmly* So... Near the end of this chapter, where Strife says, "Edge? What kinda prank are you tying to pull this time?" I know, it's insanely minor, but still! Who's splitting fine hairs besides me? :D
F. Teague chapter 7 . 4/13/2004
Y'know, I think I am in love with your story so much 'cause it has virtually no spelling or grammatical errors! I'm so used to running into them on that it is unnatural and entirely too pleasing to not encounter them. Keep up the good work!
F. Teague chapter 5 . 4/13/2004
I'm so jealous of you *sulks* How about I borrow your muses for a day, hmm? *is having trouble writing the first chapter of her own story* And you can have mine! *smiles brightly* Here! *holds out a chipped, dusty porcelain teapot with yellow roses hand-painted on the sides* You can, umm...make tea with it! What else is a teapot for, anyhow? xP
F. Teague chapter 3 . 4/12/2004
Yerps, I kinda forgot to comment that the fight in chapter 2 was darn exciting! Extremely well-written, if I do say so myself *preens**falls flat on face* Ah, well... Anyhow, uhm... I seem to have forgotten what I was going to write next! Woe is me *sniffle* Hmm... Oh, YEAH! This was a good chapter, too! D'oh. Do you like Rurouni Kenshin? I love it! -;;
F. Teague chapter 1 . 4/12/2004
Holy $%&ing &*%! Argh...my last review didn't survive *sniffle* Well, I THINK it went something like this: What is this doing on ? It should be behind the cover of some paperback book-or hardcover, if you prefer!-on the shelf of some bookstore...Barnes & Noble, maybe? Although, it is a plus that I don't have to pay for it, as I am desperately broke *cackles* Sheesh! This is going on my favorites list as of, like, YESTERDAY! *flips hair* Oh, yeah...I'm going to review every other chapter at least (you deserve it), but hopefully every single one if I can wangle it. I say that because sometimes I get, er, distracted and forget to review... *guilty shine* Anyhow, toodles! I'm off to investigate the next chapters ;D
F. Teague chapter 2 . 4/12/2004
Holy Macaroons and Monkeys Dancing in Tomato Juice! This is good...TOO good! (
faerie-gumdrops chapter 14 . 4/12/2004
great work! I'm glad everything didn't go too pear-shaped for Siren and that the warriors stood up against Konishi. I'm likin Rush more and more and his crush and Strife's reaction to it is kinda cute - but hey Strife and Siren - even their names sound good together. Must be fate. Right? Anyway good work and yay!
Qest chapter 13 . 4/8/2004
really good chapter! I wonder what they're gonna tell people about all the dead people and Edge's temporary lack of sanity. please update soon!
Kon Savage chapter 13 . 4/7/2004
Your story just gets better and better! This chapter was amazing, the fight scene and the mystery that you unlock. Konishi obviously has something to do with Edge's past and knows Shade somehow, and finally Siren is being respected! Great chapter!
LATER-Manga200
faerie-gumdrops chapter 13 . 4/7/2004
Yay so glad Siren's ok. Go Warrior guy! That was a really tense and exciting chapter - well done!
R. Washburn chapter 2 . 4/4/2004
Hm. This story seems to be rather swift to the action point. Not that much of a bad thing, since it catches the readers attention (the ones who are attracted to this genre, anyway.). Siren seems like an interestingly egocentric character. The rivalry reminds me of something from a webcomic... I can't remember the character's names but it was "Directions of Destiny" that this whole competition "I can fight better than you" scenario reminds me so much of. Not a bad thing, but I just see the characters like them now, physically and personality-wise.

The whole "Ready to die?" thing sort of threw me off, though.

Anyway, it has some interesting fighting sequences. Rather simple for a relatively short chapter, which is good. I'm not a big fan of seeing "she stabs him he gasps he stabs her oh em gee teh pain and agony and ANGST"...etcetera. Don't know many who are, though.

Grammatical error, though I did not see many (probably because I'm not too hot with grammar myself.), here is what I caught my attention. "But even as raised his sword to deliver the fatal blow". There was something else that sort of didn't make much sense, but I'm too lazy to go back and search through it again; so that'll slide for now.

Can't say much of anything else. I'm kind of out of it right now (good mood for writing. Bwaha.), so I'll get back to you later on the next chapter.
By the way, thanks for the reviews. I appreciate them a lot, as they have been the kind I've been wanting. I've had to continuously go back to the earlier chapters of "Antediluvian" and fix things here and there (people want me to get it published when it's done.), so it's a lot of work since my grammar is poor.

Catch you later.
R. Washburn chapter 1 . 4/3/2004
Hm. Well I might say I like the characterization in here so far; too many that come and go but it sort of gives you that nagging feeling that they're going to be coming back later (much like Edge. I expect to see more of him later on.). Still, there are some things you might want to consider with the way this story begins; the fact that the first you see of Strife is him rousing from his morning rest makes me think "Wow. I've seen this somewhere before." Because it's been done several times. Just thought you might want to look into that. I know I've had to re-write my beginnings quite a few times.

The "only mother he'd ever known" sounded a bit hackneyed until I read further about the quarrels between the mother who loved another man; makes me curious about what happened behind that. Very interesting idea indeed, one which I kind of liked. I don't know Strife all that well but it's well enough to already feel kind of bad for him after what his father told him, who also seems to have a rather sexist demeanor. You give his father a very strong aura of disdain; a bit trite since this has been also seen before. Usually there is always this one cliché where one parent is much more caring and the other is either dead or hates the child. But since you do it well I'm going to forget this and continue.

I like it how Strife "looked at the ground, fervently wishing that he could somehow sink into it." It gives off the emotion of indignity and anxiety to an extent where you didn't have to say it, but feel it instead. This is always what I look forward to when I read.

By the way, thanks very much for the awesome review on "Antediluvian". Just to clear something up real quick: it intentionally starts off vague (i.e. the snake mark.) for the simple fact that, well, confusion is what keeps the reader reading (the good ones, anyway.). You will find certain hints and sub-plots showing up but being either explained or coming with a good reason later on, should you continue to read it. Which I hope you will.

Thanks again, and I hope I gave you some good pointers. Think I might look further into this story...or maybe "Legacy" sometime. This one just seemed short enough while I had the time so I thought I'd drop by and leave a review.
mizu no kokoro chapter 6 . 4/3/2004
ohh cliffhanger~ half way through am i? well, it's reli reli good so far, as aer all fantasy stories *way* awesome! ttyl~
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