Reviews for A smile
writingxonxwalls chapter 1 . 3/12/2008
review game )

It was short, but cute. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but that's what I got. It seemed like one of those things where you just want to scrunch up your noise and smile. I tend to call that "Baby turtle cute" haha if you get what I mean. "A delicious bun" seems a little forced... but that was about it. "True" and "you" didn't seem forced, even though they're commonly used together. I just can't seem to picture a delicious bun as a smile... haha.

It was definitely baby turtle cute! )

-WxOxW
Flotom chapter 1 . 6/29/2004
Agree with other reviewer about the bun line. You need to work on your rhyming, Imo, because some of them can seem a little forced, as if you were stuck of what to rhyme with. Otherwise this poem was very sweet and good. Why is there a J at the bottom and the top
krystalpendragon chapter 1 . 6/13/2004
kewlz. simple, sweet, and... O.o brain can't ever think wat to say...
later
AngelFly chapter 1 . 6/4/2004
Smiles are very important. It really can mean the world to someone. Good insight, short and sweet, I like it. Keep smiling!
whatsapenname chapter 1 . 5/24/2004
very pretty but the delicious bun line is no good. it makes it sound like you were flundering for a rhyme and couldnt think of anything. consider revising. otherwise lovely.
whatsa
Philosophe Rouge chapter 1 . 3/2/2004
It's so sweet!
LegendaryPunk29 chapter 1 . 3/2/2004
Very very nice poem, and I enjoyed reading this poem! Short and neat, mah favorite kind of poems. Great work here for real, keep writing!
If u can, please r and r some of my work, it will mean a lot to me
Thanks!