Reviews for Identity Disturbance
CountryGal12 chapter 1 . 11/18/2013
][Review for The Review Game forum.][

Opening: I liked your opening, honestly, and I don't usually do. It did make me want to read onward.

Characters: I didn't really connect with the characters and I didn't feel like I had enough time too. I felt you could have made this longer.

Enjoyment: I'll admit I was confused at times. But overall, I did enjoy it.

Pace: I felt that you might have been going a little bit faster then you should've. I felt that if you had slowed down, we might have gotten more out of this chapter.
PeanutButterKnife chapter 29 . 1/4/2010
?

I thought this was the last chapter!

Is there a sequel? No, dear God, PLEASE don't let it cut off there! I'm panicking. I'm panicking...

...

I love your story. THIS much. But, you can't see how much. But trust me. It's a LOT. And I totally pursued it obsessively, but now I'm spiraling into a pit of DOOM because I don't know if there's a sequel or not!

-runs to check-
crystalbluewolf chapter 29 . 10/31/2009
i love this story! i can't belive you didn't finish it or anything! PLEASE UPDATE!
saunder chapter 29 . 10/9/2009
ROFL! LMAO! and all those annoying internet ancronyms i can think of to express how i think this chapter is really funny and wicked
saunder chapter 18 . 10/9/2009
mike is truly wierd. sauce and pasta not touching? but i do think mike's dad is quite funny
saunder chapter 16 . 10/9/2009
oh wow ivy is amazing...this story is just so wacko and unpredictable XD
saunder chapter 15 . 10/9/2009
argh i hate split lips. they hurt like hell.
hydora chapter 5 . 10/9/2009
this is really good. the only thing i'm annoyed about is that you INDENT and SKIP A LINE in between paragraphs. just do one.
Shagg chapter 29 . 9/2/2009
THIS IS BRILLIANT!
Pirate Bones chapter 29 . 4/1/2009
What? I know that it has 29 "bits" already... But this isn't enough for me! I need more! I need to know what's next.

Mike is just adorable and I don't even know why, but he just is. Ivy is... Ivy and I love that about her. Did I mention Mike is adorable? Alex is annoying somehow, but my mind can't decided whether Mike is good for Ivy or Alex. It's most likely Ivy.

I LOVE THIS. It's funny and I can somehow relate... Not that I'm crazy cause I'm really not.

Oh, and did I mention Mike is adorable? I just love that kid to death. I thought he died when he hit his head in the scale, so you can just imagine my surprise when I see him here. Or read. He is really adorable.
YellRill chapter 29 . 2/2/2009
As much as I love to just tell you how much I adore this story and how its just so fucking mind blowing but; guess what? YOU DIDN'T FUCKING FINISH!

I know, obvious, but I'm so blown at the moment because I was all knee deep in fantasy world literature and then it just ends. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want a story I wrote to be the 'Oh, it could have been great except for that ending-wait. It didn't have an ending, did it?' Sigh, update if u will because I am just spellbound but if you don't this will be my new favorite 'except for the ending' story.

On a happy note this story was so freaking awesome and you rox some serious soxs with my friends.
Terra Cosen chapter 29 . 10/26/2008
Really great. Like my favorite fictionpress story ever. Better than most novels I've read. I love the characters you create, they seem so realistic, and junk. Mike is the cutest little anorexic boy in the history of the world. This story is so awesome, I wish it would never end.

Apparently you haven't updated this story for ages, but I hope you get a sudden flash of interest in this story and update a million extra chapters overnight -insert smilie face-

I am going to offer to help, because I feel bad just asking for you to update without any negative impact on my side. So, I would love to 'help' if possible...

Or just update -grins-

I love your story, and I think it is totally good enough to get published. I would totally buy it.

I really hope you don't give up on this story.

-Jacquie
J.Riot chapter 29 . 8/28/2008
I Love this story.
K.M.Mackenzie chapter 3 . 5/17/2008
Oh, I love this. So your ambition at the moment is to publish before age 18 then? Me too. Is this the story your hoping for goodness to befall? It is very good. Maybe a little bit of description would help. As far as I can see, it's a combination of the protagonist's internal monologue and external dialogues between the rest of the characters. Description would help.

And also, I like how you call the chapters "Bits". It's very interesting. Like the protagonist's character is rubbing off on the structure of her own story.

By the way, your characterisation is fantastic. I think that's where internal monologues (when done correctly as you have) are good at establishing personality, attitude and values.

Of course, none of this may have occurred to you while you wrote. It never does, does it?

Well, good luck with everything. You'll be hearing from me again soon. In another couple of "bits" I'd wager.

(Normally, I don't talk like this. I'm just in a weird mood.)

K.

P.S.: If you do happen to stumble onto my profile and end up thinking that the story "Because It's Pink" is the one I wish to publish, please don't fool yourself. It is not. Thank you.
SoulLunair chapter 29 . 4/12/2008
whoa I wonder whats happening next
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