|Reviews for Crooked Space Episode 3: Come Together|
| eiyuang999 chapter 1 . 5/25/2010
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| WonderWing chapter 7 . 12/16/2009
ohkay... that last line was real random.
you know i think this is great. i can't even find any flaws.
personally, i'd have more description, but that's just me. it reads fine the way it is, though.
keep up the good work, man. you've got a fan!
| WonderWing chapter 5 . 12/16/2009
I'm in love with you and your style, man. I have the feeling I will one day see this on television, in anime form. I HOPE I do. It's brilliant!
| WonderWing chapter 4 . 12/16/2009
That's it, you have to be a writer for an anime, or a manga, or i'm going to kill jesus.
I love this shit man. freakin brilliant. you were born for this! hahah ho boy well this type of review isn't very helpful. tbh i just wanna read though.
| WonderWing chapter 2 . 12/16/2009
This is my review of chapter one, i just clicked the review button on the second page on accident: first chapter was one hell of an opener. I dare say your style has improved just in these past two episodes lol. or maybe it's your confidence that's brimming now. either case, great intro, great onset, and honestly, i'm interested as hell. I know there's so many cliches here but again, it's so well written i don't even care anymore lol.
i just wanted to add that also, in this episode, you seem to be more personal with the character, and i really like it that way. as i pointed out in the last episode, i felt it was lacking back there and it felt a little unoriginal, save for the occasional insert.
I find this segment rich in thought and feeling, however. I like that so much more, you have no idea. However, because it is alluva sudden, it gives me the ominous feel, like in bebop where you learned about spike right before his, well, you know...
(i don't wanna spoil the ending but i'm sure you know what happens at the end of bebop after u get to know spike's story lol)
i am really genuinely interested which is a rarity for FP. hell yes can't wait to get going!
*snuggles into chair and sips monster*
| firemounrain chapter 7 . 1/1/2009
lol, lyrics. I like your use of dialogue to show rather than to tell what's going on.
| Master Chief chapter 7 . 6/12/2006
Hey, just wanted to say whaddup man. It's been far, far too long. I figure you've either a. forgotten or b. gotten extremely busy. I hope you decide to get back in the swing of writing bro. Hope to hear from you soon.
| MiroFTW chapter 7 . 4/27/2004
ahh another great chapter although i do think abernathy went out a little too quietly. another episode done, and nothing about the conjunction. maybe it has something to do with the supersoldier formula or whatever. still good stuff.
i'm waiting for more. hope you have the new chapter up soon :D..
ps. sorry for the late review. i've been busy lately but this has definitely made my day.
| Shay Webcomic Addict chapter 7 . 4/23/2004
well, i just finished reading the 3rd episode of Crooked Space. and i have to say, i'm baffled. i looked for something i didn't like in the series, and then i looked for flaws, but i haven't found squat. if i see anything worth improving, i'll let you know, but until that happens, well, congrats you've earned a perfect score with me. Keep it up.
| Master Chief chapter 7 . 4/20/2004
Great chapter. Definitely the action packed conclusion i was expecting, although it was in a different vein of sorts, with michael turning into sort of a mutant. What i'm really interested in though, is this relationship between Mikey and Jessica. I can't wait to see how that ends up. I have my theories, but i'll wait to see it unfold first. And then there's this whole conjunction bit looming over everyone's heads. I'm extremely anxious to see the Consortium put all its cards out on the table. And i'm even more anxious to see how michael is gonna take it down. Your writing is on point as always, so not much to comment on there. I did catch an error or two, and i'm too lazy to go back and check them out. Keep up the good work. I can't wait for Episode 4.
| MiroFTW chapter 6 . 4/15/2004
ahh sorry for not reviewing this soner. i've gone lazy these past few days and i guess fictionpress has been the last of the things on my mind.
short but nice chapter. i like your plot twist on how mike becomes the subject.. but you have to write more. i'm really interested in what's to happen next.
one suggestion. subtlely, it seems as if mike and jessica have this connection. maybe it's just my perspective of the story but i think you should slow the pace down just a notch.
she's been an intriguing addition to this episode and i'd like to see her in further action, but try and build their relationship slowly (if that's infact what you're aiming for. If not, just ignore this comment).
you need to update. and soon! :D
| Master Chief chapter 6 . 4/9/2004
Another rock solid chapter. This Abernathy is sinister and I love it. Of course I can't wait to see justice get doled out to him. I really like how Jessica is warming up to Michael and taking after him in some respects. I'm looking forward to seeing how Michael will escape.
| MiroFTW chapter 5 . 4/3/2004
ahh... i knew something like this would've happened. though i also thought it coulda been the owner of the 707 also for their unusually kind courteosy.
anyways, im really happy the action picked up and now you left the readers in suspense. what is abernathy going to do... i really can't wait until you post again. keep up the good work!
ps. i'm still trying to deciper "Drive carefully. 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents." :\
| MiroFTW chapter 4 . 4/3/2004
another interesting chapter. i like how you start off each chapter with a bit of a mysterious bit that ironically foreshadows the oncoming events. still it's a nice technique to implement into your story.
i can see that things are beginning to pick up now, since that they've discovered heron is trying to escape. i can sense more action in the oncoming chapters and yet at the same time, you still write with the suspense of a mystery/thriller. good job.
i think mike's conclusion was a bit hasty, i think there's actually more to this then you let on. heron could only be a minor fish in this story, and i definitely think there's more to this than just nabbing heron. also, i really like to see, if anything, how this ties in with the conjunction (maybe the super soldier formula) but i dunno.
still a good read. and onto the next chapter.
| MiroFTW chapter 3 . 4/3/2004
ah great chapter. the feel for this has turned into one of a mystery/suspense thriller. this jessica, mike and brent relationship reminds me a lot of faye, spike and jet but only subtlely.
you have little to no mistakes in this chapter. the only thing that i found you could've rewritten was the scene in the 707. the workers inside appeared to be a little 'too' friendly, and i don't know if this was supposed to be included in the plot or if it was just a minor detail that you decided not to describe in length, but i would've liked to see some sort of hostility here. really bring out the badass-ness of mike.
anyways, still though, great chapter. i really like this mystery feel to it, albeit it is a bit slow-paced. still, it was a fun read. and onto the next chapter...