Reviews for A Sorcerer of Selen
Phoeaix chapter 11 . 4/17/2004
Well this chapter left me with a dislikign for both Dayan and Julina, but i guess i can see their point about Raven learning to fight and speak properly.
Again I liked your description -and if if you think yours is bad then mind must be awful (well not awful lets just say slowly improving but not good)
Questions, questions - i can't seem to think of any today (must be brainthink lag from planning chp13 of The gathering lol)
I've thought about Dunni and honestly can't think of what i've (and everyone else) have supposed to have missed about him - my brain must be gone today, maybe you can let us out of our misery?
Looking forward to the next chapter, may it be soon.
ps Dunny and Loo both are other words for Toilet and i was in a weird mood when i wrote that so ignore what i said about Dunni in the my last review.
Oh chp 13 won't be up until I figure out some more concrete details about certain people and things(looking to be a night chapter right now)
Sadie chapter 10 . 4/16/2004
Only three more chapters left, I guess.
*sigh* too bad.. it's a good story!
Glennesque chapter 5 . 4/15/2004
whoa really likng the story! the characters have depth and the plot seems to be moving along.
Jamez chapter 10 . 4/14/2004
Ohlala! Raven has something to do with that prophesy, right? He HAS to, I mean the names can't just be a coincedence...and maybe Mala knows that and thats why she wants Haliha to be a knight! So she will know where she is when its time for the prophesy to be fulfilled! Yes! That has to be it! ...uh sorry if I just ruined it for everyone, but you know, I could be totally off. Maybe its just a silly coincedence, but anyway I hope Raven becomes friends with Dunni, I like him already.
Oh and about the sequel...Why'd you have to say that I might be upset? I think I know whats going to happen...*tear but I wish I didn't...Oh well I'll enjoy the character of Raven while I can:(
Sorry if you have no idea what I'm talking about...
Update soon!
James_
ps. thanks about the cure for writers block, I'll definatly try thinking before I write.
Firgof Umbra chapter 4 . 4/13/2004
Nice short one.
And that's how I would write a situation like this as well.
An "Awakening"... hmm. Interesting.
So by that, I can gleam that magic is not very common in this world, or at least not common enough for the reader to know about it at this point.
Wondering where this will lead to...
Ah. It is 9:54 now, so I must retire unfortunately.
If you wanted to know; that is, if you didn't know already, the next chapter is uploaded. Have a good night or morning.
Fare well.
Firgof Umbra chapter 3 . 4/13/2004
An interesting chapter.
So this queen might have seen something in Raven and Haliha (well, besides the obvious :)
BTW, is Haliha pronounced (Hal-ee-ha) or (Ha-lee-ya)? Sorry, I make names all the time and that one struck my fancy I suppose. :)
Plot is getting more defined, but Haliha was introduced rather abruptly unless I missed something previously.
Which is actually quite common for me at times. Sorry if I did.
Continuing to next chapter.
FoolishBeloved chapter 10 . 4/13/2004
allo, me again. /_ great chapter, if it was rushed, i couldn't tell, (except for when you said so at the bottom /_;;) I'll read the other story another time. more on this soon ne?
Loki-sama
Firgof Umbra chapter 2 . 4/13/2004
Another good one!
This sentence: "Most of the good folk still caught outside on the street began to hurry home, for night was approaching, and they didn't..." was a bit confusing. I would re-word the approaching night description to: "...began to hurry home; night was approaching, and they..."
The Raven description. Did you mean it to come off short and jerky? It can be a matter of style, but if you weren't trying to make it almost stutter (Better yet, sound like Hemingway) then I would blend the descriptions together into one sentence. Minor error if you didn't intend it that way.
"cobblestone, leaving..." should read "cobblestone, and left..."
Other than that, I'd be repeating myself. You know what I would comment on from this point onward.
Good chapter as I said before, but I'm still confused as to whether that is your style of writing, or if you are making silly mistakes... I suppose time shall tell. :) Onwards to the next chapter.
Firgof Umbra chapter 1 . 4/13/2004
Hmm... a series of too many commas in some sentences here. You don't really need a whole lot of them.
When using the conjuction 'and', you only need to add a comma before it if the sentence after can stand on its own.
Example: The tower and the guard were one. (does not need ,and)
The tower of waning light, and the guardian of the dawn looked down on the whispering plains beneath him. (, and is not necessary here, but you can use it.)
The tower of waning light beamed morning into the dawn, and from it, there arose a great warrior from the fading pillars of light mist. (definite usage here.)
Other than that, good beginning!
An Inside Joke chapter 10 . 4/13/2004
I like all the names- those countries sound cool, but I have no idea how to pronounce them. Good chapter.
Alice Montrose chapter 10 . 4/13/2004
Too lazy to log in, I suppose. Let me see now... oh, right. I liked the way you made the transition to the new environment Raven finds himself in. I also liked Dunni.
Prophecy, eh? And why do I have the feeling that will be an important part of the plot in the future? :)
The epic? It's called "Shielded in Broken Armours". And trist me, you don't want to review every chapter of it! I'm currently working on finishing it (the last chapters of part 3 that is) but there will be a sequel. And you can give "Mask of Sorrow" a try if you can find the time, too. i'm proud of that one.
Phoeaix chapter 10 . 4/12/2004
Well I've gots to say, I really liked this chapter.
You ready for the questions I usually ask in my reviews? Is Dunni going to be a major secondary charecter?(the name btw cracks me up I keep thinking Dunny -Loo Dunny-Loo -bad aussie thinking there) Will Raven meet his family soon? Thats about all i can think of right now
Btw I like the describtion you put in this chapter - it's better than any describtion i could do - and it was interesting to learn that Raven aka Dunaush was named after a dead hero
'Trust me, they make prophecies all the time, and the most of them don’t come true' I like that, reminded me of Rune and his prophecy opinions when i read it
Looking forward to the next chapter, may it be soon.
ps your welcome for both the email and book recommendation
An Inside Joke chapter 9 . 4/10/2004
I like his reaction to the cousin-marriage thing.
Jamez chapter 9 . 4/10/2004
Not Timbit! It was as interesting and brilliant as always!
Gosh, I would be so confused and freaked out if I was Raven, but at least we know now Mala has alot of good in her after all. (I'm glad I liked her from the begining)
Please update soon! When you do I'll give up my freetime to read this in a heart beat! And that goes for you as well Phoeaix and Loki-Sama! Such great stories!
James _ Keep it up yall! (wow, I'm annoying)
Jamez chapter 8 . 4/8/2004
Aw! thats so sad. They have to depart...*tear. I love Raven so much! He's really quite a lovable character and he was trying not to cry, its so sad, to me anyway and he said he loved her (in a friendly way right-even thought he probably really does love her in the other way...I can't explain!) I was suprised to see two chapters! good job on that. hehe. Sorry I didn't review sooner but i've been dedicating most of my free time to Final Fantasy X. So i won't be updating very soon. Also i sort of have a mild case of writers block.
James _
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