|Reviews for poème|
| Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 12/17/2007
Hey, I have a review! Sorry, I know I promised to look at this a month ago. I actually printed it out and read it several times, but I procrastinate and was lazy about logging on this site. Sorry.
What does soused mean? I am a bit confused by definition, in this context.
You're right, this is a lot like my poem, Artists. I know I submitted a review reply to you but I don't remember what it said. Artists, you should know, is not a poem I like, although it was written in an important transition period when I started writing poems I do like.
This, written almost 4 years ago, is not a bad poem. You tell the story very well, and it holds the readers attention, is interesting, and gives concrete examples (but still contains some mystery). It's biggest problem, I would say, is that it is more essay than poem. There is a lot of explaining rather than showing ("and didn’t it just go to show that the really great ones got high, too, just like us?
although we unsocial entities did manage it in different ways." -This is too long and wordy). There are a lot of weak images, metaphors, and cliches. Nothing jumps out to make the reader think, "Wow, that was poetic."
Of course, I don't know what I'm talking about, so you can ignore me if you wish. I don't usually give such harsh criticism, but you write quite well, and I hope my advice helps. My recommendation: rewrite. It's a good idea that just needs to be communicated more effectively.
With love, Chandra.
| fallin4ualwayz chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
very nice D just... everything you write is so beautiful, deep, amazing
| R.C. Wulfe chapter 1 . 6/8/2006
"as paint can rage, so, too, can words bleedand drip and smear and splatter across the floor."
I Love this ending line. You are an awesome writter.
| MsBlaireMatthews chapter 1 . 1/8/2006
Damn. This poem was all types of wicked awesome. It was so...deep. Had all these layers! I LUVED IT!
You're so taltented.
| Eire Rain chapter 1 . 12/17/2005
The last two lines were just. . . WOW. I think I'm adding you to my author's list. Is that okay? I really think your poems are that amazing. Keep up the good work. Thanks for reviewing me. :)
| GravitationDreams chapter 1 . 5/10/2005
That was a beautiful poem. I love the line 'art danced in my footsteps'. Keep writing great review me!
| Lemons Meringue chapter 1 . 3/11/2004
heh, this poem I can relate to too. I met someone that I love in a Literature class, (which is slightly similar) and she too doesn't like art, but I do like poetry. It was wonderful, This is definetly on my favorites list.