Reviews for Hospital Visitation
Reloj chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
This is rather emotional; I like the feeling of it. It reminds me of my own father, who I lost.

Nicely written.
mysticalfluff chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
Beautiful job on this, so sad and honest and open.
Amelia Vogner chapter 1 . 4/20/2004
Oh...that is so sad...
-Rae
B e Hickman chapter 1 . 4/8/2004
This has got some good rhythm.. you seem to thrive in shorter lines. There are some parts where the verbiage is awkward-'bright lights that hurt the eyes','eyes are shiny and bright','dripping from the tips'... I think you can truncate for better flow, that's all. But this conveys some powerful emotion, and ends pretty strongly.
Aleonic Relic chapter 1 . 3/27/2004
it's always hard to view a loved one in their weakest state though it makes you stronger in the end. nice poem, very emotional and well written.
GIR chapter 1 . 3/25/2004
I like this one. It's very sad. It reminds me of a friend of mine, but that's a long story. Well written. I can tell that you really let everything you had out into this poem.
JRVillers chapter 1 . 3/22/2004
I love the 4 lines you use to describe your father's smile.
'I know what you see./The baby girl/That I will always be,/In your eyes.' I really like how you tie this with the end, with 'That you will not see/Me live.'
One thing I did hope for in this piece was at least an allusion to his ailment. But overall, I loved it. Keep writing!
Hallucinogen Orange chapter 1 . 3/20/2004
Beautiful. It speaks volumes about you, and it's so heart wrenchingly honest. Beautiful. You shine as a pillar of strength in a world of the fearful and selfish. Thanks for reviewing me..
This weight
Upon my fragile shoulders
Greivance and cold hate
something stronger
how I hunger
I hate this empty
Disillusion in me...

Could I find the bliss
Of your radiant kiss
within dreams yet undreamt
I wake in the morning, your taste on my skin
my long black hair all unkempt...

Know who I am yet, lady? You seem to recognize my style, and have an unwavering liking to it, as you praise under my many names. Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate it, and I find it warming that you like my work under any assumed pretense.
Yours Truly,
Photo-Nothing-Orange
this is not a biography chapter 1 . 3/19/2004
This is so beautiful... especially towards the end. I cannot even imagine losing someone that important to me. My heart goes out to you.
karla chapter 1 . 3/18/2004
Very strong excellent sentimental poem. Very good.
Othello934 chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
Wow, that was powerful...pulsates pathos.
Sammy- B chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
thta's so sad, but you put your feeling beautifully into this poem. Yet, so sad!
Kohakunushi chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
Great poem... reminds me of when i have last visited my friends mom... she died of cancer...
YuRi
Magpie Poet chapter 1 . 3/16/2004
ugh. a little too well done. flashback of too many hospital visits for family members. i'm sorry if this has passed in rl.
wisefellow chapter 1 . 3/16/2004
this was touching very good
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