|Reviews for Hospital Visitation|
| Reloj chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
This is rather emotional; I like the feeling of it. It reminds me of my own father, who I lost.
| mysticalfluff chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
Beautiful job on this, so sad and honest and open.
| Amelia Vogner chapter 1 . 4/20/2004
Oh...that is so sad...
| B e Hickman chapter 1 . 4/8/2004
This has got some good rhythm.. you seem to thrive in shorter lines. There are some parts where the verbiage is awkward-'bright lights that hurt the eyes','eyes are shiny and bright','dripping from the tips'... I think you can truncate for better flow, that's all. But this conveys some powerful emotion, and ends pretty strongly.
| Aleonic Relic chapter 1 . 3/27/2004
it's always hard to view a loved one in their weakest state though it makes you stronger in the end. nice poem, very emotional and well written.
| GIR chapter 1 . 3/25/2004
I like this one. It's very sad. It reminds me of a friend of mine, but that's a long story. Well written. I can tell that you really let everything you had out into this poem.
| JRVillers chapter 1 . 3/22/2004
I love the 4 lines you use to describe your father's smile.
'I know what you see./The baby girl/That I will always be,/In your eyes.' I really like how you tie this with the end, with 'That you will not see/Me live.'
One thing I did hope for in this piece was at least an allusion to his ailment. But overall, I loved it. Keep writing!
| Hallucinogen Orange chapter 1 . 3/20/2004
Beautiful. It speaks volumes about you, and it's so heart wrenchingly honest. Beautiful. You shine as a pillar of strength in a world of the fearful and selfish. Thanks for reviewing me..
Upon my fragile shoulders
Greivance and cold hate
how I hunger
I hate this empty
Disillusion in me...
Could I find the bliss
Of your radiant kiss
within dreams yet undreamt
I wake in the morning, your taste on my skin
my long black hair all unkempt...
Know who I am yet, lady? You seem to recognize my style, and have an unwavering liking to it, as you praise under my many names. Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate it, and I find it warming that you like my work under any assumed pretense.
| this is not a biography chapter 1 . 3/19/2004
This is so beautiful... especially towards the end. I cannot even imagine losing someone that important to me. My heart goes out to you.
| karla chapter 1 . 3/18/2004
Very strong excellent sentimental poem. Very good.
| Othello934 chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
Wow, that was powerful...pulsates pathos.
| Sammy- B chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
thta's so sad, but you put your feeling beautifully into this poem. Yet, so sad!
| Kohakunushi chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
Great poem... reminds me of when i have last visited my friends mom... she died of cancer...
| Magpie Poet chapter 1 . 3/16/2004
ugh. a little too well done. flashback of too many hospital visits for family members. i'm sorry if this has passed in rl.
| wisefellow chapter 1 . 3/16/2004
this was touching very good