Brilliant. Simply brilliant. You deserve a good deal of credit for something like this.

My favorite lines...

"Dad looks at his workman's palms, tracing the lines with his eyes, drawing out the memories."

This is a beautiful sentence that flows well, and gives the reader a great connection of work to memory.

"But I adore the fact that it's hurting him so much."

My brain did a double take. But now, I understand. It was very important that you switched this for the next line, separating it from the rest. Well done. And great dodging the word "love" there. It would have been much worse had it been 'But I love the fact that it's hurting him so much.'

"Just before he goes, though, his smile trembles..."

That's just... wow. Spectacular.

This whole piece is wonderfully written in a voice that is very distinctive. Your line separation particularly was well done.

With sincerity,

Friggin Awesome

Ooh, I remember this story, the one with the death penalty and all...
It's still as good as when I first read it.

This is really sweet. I mean, I don't exactly get what it's about - either suicide or murder or something like that, but I'm not sure. I like it.

beautiful, as always. After your explanation of it, i saw even more.

It was sad... :(
I don't understand exactly what's up with her... but it was good.
:D

Wow. This is beautiful! It's different than your usual slash, but still, it's amazing! Great job!