|Reviews for The Bluestone Babe|
| soulwings chapter 1 . 3/17/2004
There are some problems with tense in this story, such as when you wrote "And so,after he had tapped the contract on the bar and took a deep breath,Brian had put the contract back in his pocket". It should be "And so, after he had tapped the contract on the bar and TAKEN a deep breath, Brian PUT the contract back in his pocket" (it you still want to keep the sentence structure, I would change it slightly but anywhoo).
The plot has potential. Try reading your work out loud to check for tense problems. :)