Reviews for little girl
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
This is a very very good poem. Powerful, too. I enjoyed reading it. Every line was written beautifully and the whole thing painted a beautiful picture in my mind.

However, the a little little thing bothers me in your first stanza. You mention "fingers" twice. I know that this is really small, and I'm probably the only one who thinks this.

Honestly, aside from that, it's a STUNNING piece.

I would love opinions from a talented writer like yourself on my work, it would really mean a lot to me!
Luneko chapter 1 . 3/16/2005
Oh God, I wish...

This affected me so strongly. I've read it once before, and it affected me then. Now that I've come to grips with my loss of innocence, this poem has an even stronger impact.

Stylistically speaking, I love the format. I like how the actions in the italicized portions have metaphorical meaning.

My favorite bit: "now her smile outshines the sunlight / piercing through the shadowed clouds / i know not all is lost in life"
poetic abortion chapter 1 . 1/14/2005
;.; I couldn't stop crying after reading this. The whole poem was easy to understand and was breathtaking. I was left in awe and sadness that I'm not too sure on how was triggered. But amazing none the less. Brillant poem.

~* Noelle O.O;V *~
ADreamer'sCurse chapter 1 . 8/27/2004
This is truelly a beautiful poem. I can picture it so easily in my head, such amazing detail. Please do continue your writings!
~ A Dreamer's Curse
(I tried reveiwing this poem but i'm not sure if it worked.)
Zainab chapter 1 . 8/17/2004
beautiful. i miss innocence, back to the days when nothing was known. ~sigh~ life sucks, oh well.
Hershey249 chapter 1 . 7/1/2004
It's weird...usually free verse poems don't do much for me, but this was just very touching, and it did do something. Lines about the tracings in the sand and the gray that obscured the white seem symbolic of something else somehow...I can't quite say what it is, but perhaps something to do with time going on. It's extremely well done. Oh, and I love the last line. "Hope beyond the manifest"...that's just plain nifty. Really poignant.
Anjeni Windsinger chapter 1 . 5/20/2004
It's poems like this that will stay with you long after reading it, and when you can't remember how it goes, you'll come back to memorize it. This poem is beyond perfection, beyond beauty, beyond everything. It's one of the best I've seen in a very long time Reading this, it's very hard not to mourn for your own lost childhood and those around you, and it makes you feel remorse for those who will eventually lose that innocence - sometimes too soon, like I'm sure my younger sister and brother will. Growing up on a reservation almost guarantees it, and I can only hope that they'll end up as the last stanza in your poem says. It gives me a sense of hope, I guess. Brilliant, amazing, incredible write. I absolutely love it.
karmakaze chapter 1 . 4/30/2004
Yeah, I know how you feel, but then again ignorance isn't always bliss. I mean, sometimes knowing things can help you *protect* the innocent...
But, I liked it:)
Also, thanks for your review! It means a lot to me when I can talk to open-minded Christians, because it goes to show that not all Pagan/Christian conversations will end in bloodshed. Thanks:)
And, keep up zee good work!
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 4/22/2004
nice metaphors and imagery... very wlel written.. tahnks for your review
PainKiller chapter 1 . 4/8/2004
Really just a marvelous poem. The way you used childlike wording throughout most of the piece fits with the 'innocence' theme very well. I've always admired the way you can leave your readers (me, namely) with awe after every last single one of your works. The italicized sections were really excellent; almost a bit of a haunting memory type-feel. Great work!
ChaoxAngel chapter 1 . 4/8/2004
Seaspray chapter 1 . 4/2/2004
Oh wow! This is soo good. "little girl, why do you trace
your fingers through the air? " I want to cry. Brilliantly written, you make me mourn for my own childhood. Just lovely.
Getuie chapter 1 . 3/27/2004
Truly an interesting pem in the questions you ask and the way you express the thoughts and desires of the speaker... beautiful in its desire to see, to know, to remember something more than usually clings to memory... something pure
Ria Mala chapter 1 . 3/26/2004
Beautiful! I adore the "little girl, why do you traceyour fingers through the air? she wanted to paint the sky " lines. This is excellent.
Mime chapter 1 . 3/23/2004
PERFECT. I've been aching to read a poem like this for a long, long time. Excellent writing.
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