I've always wanted to die of laughter and at this rate I need to write my will!

Publish this!

You should absolutely publish this! Pure GENIUS!

Oh! Hello Doctor! Wait…You're not about to blow up a building are-well, of course you are! Nevermind! As you were!

O... the summary of this story sounded familiar. I remember I read it - many many years ago. It was nice.

Sorry to be such a brat (because I do love this story to bits, and all of your other ones, too) but I believe chapters six and seven would make more sense if reversed. The content, that is, not the titles. I was rather confused when reading it, because there were all of these new characters who I didn't know. I think that there was another spot where this happened, but I'm not sure where. Again, this wasn't meant as criticism! And I love Stealth and Kaele and Lani!

Neverfall: Sorry, I'm actually "in the process of" (as in, it should be, but at the moment isn't, happening) updating my story and I changed it because "darinh", the original, sounded too much like the name of a character from another book not posted that I'm writing. I haven't updated all the chapters as yet, obviously. Sorry. Live with it. ;)

This is quite a few chapters too late, but I have to ask-why has Arlian's name for Galen changed from 'Marinh' to 'Darinh?'

WOOT! I love this, if this ever gets published, I am hunting you down with a pitchfork for your autograph. LOVE THIS TO DEATHNESS!

Yay! I finished. The way you told this story was so snide and funny, and I love the ending. Well done.

You have such a funny style of writing, sending up the self-importance of prophecies and destined ones. It is refreshing. I am in class, and "The only way I could see the unexciting weapon slaying any dragons, was if they died of embarrassment being seen fighting someone with such a pathetic weapon." made me laugh out loud, which isnt a good thing in the middle of a class.

wow. That is such a good cynical uncliched beginning. well done.

Hello, ladyariande! _

I have a nitpick: [As soon as the robe fell upon the ground, a cry of "Winter fades and spring approaches{,}" is roared throughout the kingdom.] ~ I would suggest putthing that comma in the quotation marks, because though it's not a stand alone sentence, it is stil a sentence and needs punctuation.

[He often would walk up to me on the street and deliberately trip me, get me absolutely furious with his insults (and I don’t have a particularly violent temper) and then tell me he would see me tomorrow for lessons in the art of rope-climbing.] ~ HEE! I would like to see more of this guy.

Nitpick. [I had instructors in military history (not just Metti, but ever{y} country in the known world).] ~ typo!

Nitpick. [I switch accents, clothing, mannerism{s}, and even smile{s} on the short ride over the Channel between Deth Arda and Metti.] ~ The first two nouns are plural, so the last two should be as well.

[I didn’t know they were roses until my father told me so. They looked like cabbages.] ~ *giggle*

Nitpick. [I was completely unimpressed with the Dagger or Bane.] ~ That should be the Dagger OF Bane.

Nitpick. [Tthelore was right across the border{,} which consisted of an inconvenient string of jagged mountains.] ~ Just added a comma.

Last nitpick: [In all honesty, it crossed my mind ever{y} other moment to deny my heritage and roam the country as any other lone warrior (minus the sword), forgetting my duties and letting one of the others take the legendary place as sole ruler of the known world.] ~ typo!

Okay. Three chapters in. Are we finally done with backstory? Galen's narrative is amusing, but I still hold to what I said before: All this would do much better novel-wise meshed in with the action, to give the action meat and your readers a break. However, I really am amused, and look forward with great delight to the next chapter. _

~ LoK

This is a really great story - it's really different from anything I have ever read. I can't wait to read more!

Greetings!

[So why, one asks oneself, would a single prophecy spoken by a raving hag with more hair than brains (she was bald) drove sixteen countries into a craze{?}] ~ This sentence, from the beginning, is a question, so I would suggest a question mark. _~

[until the proud parents, most unwisely allowed to remain together, produced another princess.] ~ LMAO! You had me rolling with this one! I loved it.

Those were the only two major things I found to comment one - one merely a typo, another a fantastically-crafted sentence. _~ Here's the bones of this review:

Although all of this is backstory, and no doubt important, this chapter was slightly harder to read than the first. It's one great info dump, where facts are stated and there's neither action nor emotion to go along with it. / It might be worth it to find ingenious ways of weaving all of this into the meaty parts of the story; at least for me. There's no way I'll remember all of this! LOL! "I've got a mind like a steel trap. Nothing is ever coming out of it again."

I shall return for chapter three! _

ja ne,

LoK