Reviews for The Victim
insert funky name chapter 1 . 8/21/2004
she must be turned
Amna chapter 1 . 6/3/2004
Hey cool Story. Yeah u should keep producing more stuff like this. Good luck.
PS I love this story!
spiritlandez chapter 1 . 4/13/2004
ALRIGHT! Chandi! You gotta finish the STORIES! These are simply brilliant to be left alone! (Pst, sorry for reviewing late, but it kind of slipped by mind since I don't use this site much... But this story is awesome and I'm not telling this coz I'm your pal. But please do continue the chaps!
Luv!
A
PS: Subah Aluth Awurudhak Wewa!
Kamay ko ang nagsulat chapter 1 . 4/9/2004
Your story is good. Some parts of the grammar are okay. However, you should condsider revising some fragments and improper [if it is the right word to use] use of commas. I just noticed that as i read it.
Considering the Vampire Kissing her all of the sudden, it seems like she's being raped. I thought it was before i read the part when the vampire is biting her. All through out, it was all right.
Alcaeus of Cronus chapter 1 . 4/1/2004
M m m! Finger lickin sexual tension! :) Even though my vampires are somewhat different than that (at least most of them), I've always loved the classic, suav, and devonair player type vampire. :) Gorgeous! Classic! Muy bueno! ::applauds::
zagato chapter 1 . 3/28/2004
cool story. please write more.
Stranger Than Fiction chapter 1 . 3/28/2004
Hey, really nice fic. You have vivid descriptions and feelings. The only problem was that sometimes you repeated words too many times in too short a period. Such as "walk" in the beginning. Maybe try using synonyms, or more descriptive words in their place.
Oh, and thanks for reviewing my vampire story, Heaven Beside You.
-Stranger Than Fiction
Lover-of-Heartbreak chapter 1 . 3/28/2004
Really good from what I read...couldn't read all of it though becaus emy time is limited so I like what I read so far. Very good.
P.S. Cops are always eating donuts so naturally they would be the only ones to give a straight answer...if they don't know why people like donuts...who does?
Green Jester In The Making chapter 1 . 3/28/2004
Hum, bravo. Like all favourite fics, i found this one made me not only grin malevolently, but also squirm with excitement. People love vampire fics, plain and simple. I'm one of those people!
Your writing style is impressive. I really got a good take on what the character was feeling, and you didn't put anything in that would make the story drag on. It was fast paced yet romantically slow at the same time.
I'll say it again - love it! I really hope you'll stick to the little note at the end and continue this. :)
I'm planing to write a vampire fic soon, but right now it's just a kidnap story, and next will be one about... i'll wait to tell anyone. check mine out? I'm certainlly going to check yours...
-Amy.