Reviews for The Undecided
Eve Of Fire chapter 2 . 7/8/2008
It's been so long since I've been able to sit down and re-read some stories here on fictionpress. _ And yours had once again made me vow to spend more time on the site. I miss this!

Thanks again for your review of Blood of Midnight. I'm re-working both it and it's prequel- Blood by Midnight.
Poppy Pyres chapter 1 . 2/27/2005
I love the description here!Very graphic and realistic- like we are really there...Yay! Go Kay! I am so gald that she escaped, and I like teh backstory- just enough to explain everythingI think i have read something of yours before... hmi probably reviewed it anonymously
kayttea chapter 9 . 2/12/2005
are you going to continue this? you haven't updated scince the 5th of august last year. *cry* you HAVE to continue this is great! i'm not sure what you should make skylar do. i like him cause he's so random-ish and stuff.

maybe you could make it so that he was supposed to find her and turn her in but he doesn't and then she finds this out and runs away and they could meet up again later. that would be sorta cliche... but anyway.

please continue this story, it's very well written, great, original plot and TERRIFIC descriptions.

pretty please update ASAP?

sincerly Kashe
kayttea chapter 7 . 2/12/2005
was one of her parents human or something? otherwise i don't see why she's bright red yet... yup, anyway, i have to read the rest! til the next reveiw! (aren't you hapy to be getting all these reveiws. are they clogging up your inbox? lol, just kidding)
kayttea chapter 6 . 2/12/2005
uh huh you did need to sleep. sleep is...interesting. its fun when you wanna sleep but if you don't wanna sleep it CURSED! er... ya... just sort of rambling on.

this is a very interesting story though i'm not quite sure where it's going yet.

but i love-eth it! t's going to me fav. list! that is if i havn't reached my limit again... anyway i have the read the next chapter, i'm hooked!
kayttea chapter 4 . 2/12/2005
curse the evil cliffhanger! well...it's not really that bad cause you already have the next chapter up. which i must go read right now!

this is a really great story. it's actually very original and not as cliched as tons of stories here. er..ya...well...anyway. this is very well written, you give GREAT descriptions.

on to the next chapter!
kayttea chapter 2 . 2/12/2005
intersting. she's different eh? i have to go read more! hehheh...sorry...sorta hyper.

by the way this chapter made me thirsty. ya. that was sort of random but anyway. i'll be back after i get some water, lol.

-kashe
kayttea chapter 1 . 2/12/2005
this is great! i can't wait to read the other chapters.

about your username you can change the spelling and correct it if you want... yup... you can. anyway.

this is great. you're really good with descriptions!
angelsstar chapter 1 . 9/25/2004
Thanx for reviewing my story and giving me the suggestions. I tried to separate the story and I have changed thet titl to tHE Popular Girls. I really like your stoy and the despriptions are really clear.
Steeg chapter 8 . 8/21/2004
Hm. I like the story a lot. Good charactor developement and interaction. I liked Joel a lot, but he's gone now. Something that I missed in the prologue (yes... I know a while back) is how she got out of her chains and shackles. As to Skylar and his traitor status... well, I don't really like him, seeing as he seems to be perfect at everything. He has no faults. But at the same time Kay needs to have at least one friend. Anyway. Great job _
theatreoftheabsurd chapter 8 . 8/18/2004
Ah! Sorry I haven't reviewed. What? What the HELL is Kay, then? Idiot Skylar... *sigh*
Ahh.. the interaction between Kay and Skylar is priceless - I like how Skylar refuses to let Kay get to him.
Lol... Kay wakes up like I do. I hit people.
Ooh, FIGHT! *cough* Hm, yes... why IS Kay so good at using her sword. Very interesting. And Skylar is being mysterious now, too! Gah, won't anyone just SAY what they're thinking?
"What isn't there to enjoy?" - hahaha! Skylar's starting to remind me of my Soren. hehe.
Why can Kay hear the voices and Skylar not - isn't he more Clan than she is? Or did I forget something vitally important... again *groan*
Oh, the Clan sound like they'd annoy me. I hate people who are all grace and poise *cough* elves in LOTR *cough* - I sympathise with Kay's sentiment about one of them falling on their face.
- sofi x
"they seemed a cusual group of travelers" - 'casual'
Eve Of Fire chapter 1 . 7/28/2004
Good work. You're reading my story, Primal Darkness. But i don't recognize your pen name from any reviews. Anyway, this was a good chapter, well explained.
soccerismyhomeboy chapter 8 . 7/28/2004
Gues who? I havn't read ur story in a while, it's neato! um...i think he shouldn't give her away. Then he can teach her and stuff, but like one night he just disappears. POOF! hehe. funfun. see ya at Angies partay
Warm Fuzzy Ninja chapter 8 . 7/27/2004
Mleh... I think everybody should have at least -one- friend in the world... But whatever. _O I think you just need to go with whatever feels right. And I shouldn't be talking, because my image of the character is kinda ruined by another person of that name... e_e
Erm, but yeah! Really good job! _ Torie liked. Write more soon. FWEE... wait... You will. XP Heeheehee.
Cutlass chapter 8 . 7/26/2004
Aww I'm a little disappointed that you didn't clear up exactly what Kay is. Stupid distracted Skylar *grumbles*.
"I looked just about as 'peaceful' as you will in a moment if you don't shut up right now." Lol, love this line. So very in character.
The Shadowlings were enslaved? Sorry if you mentioned this and I just forgot...it would explain Kay's distaste towards the Clan though.
Interesting how Kay 'remembers' how to fight and improves during the battle.
Wait, why is Kay able to hear the Clan if Skylar can't? I thought she was a Shadowling - can Shadowlings automatically detect Clan-members?
"Kay couldn't help but think darkly of how funny it would be if one tripped and fell on their face." Also really liked that line too. I enjoyed the description of the Clan in general, Kay's contempt for them is made extremely obvious.
As for whether or not Skylar should betray Kay...hmm..I don't think you should do it. Although Skylar seems like he has something to hide, he also seems like a legitimately nice person, and he and Kay interact pretty well. I'd hate to see him turn traitor. I also think it would be good for Kay to have someone to trust. And she DOES need to have someone teach her how to fight. So keep Skylar on her side!
Overall, interesting chapter with some good dialogue between Kay and Skylar. Your fight scene wasn't as bad as you made it sound, maybe just include a few more details and make it last longer. Can't wait to see what the Clan members are discussing.
Nitpicky grammar stuff:
-"...and opened her mouth to protest about how little sense that made, When Skylar held up one hand, requesting silence." Don't capitalize 'when'.
-["Don't fall asleep on your watch!" Were his final words for the night, as the mage rolled over and easily fell asleep.] Don't capitalize 'were'.
-"she was too attached to her pack to risk it being burst into a thousand pieces with a spell to throw it at the mage instead" This is a really confusing sentence. Maybe consider rephrasing it or separating it into two different sentences?
-"they seemed a cusual group of travelers" Change 'cusual' to 'casual'.
38 | Page 1 .. Last Next »