Plot sounds really good, but I have a concern about their thoughts. Your story seems to come off as a dialogue than a novel because of so many thoughts going in their head whenever you put in the descriptions. It's like watching a play or something.

Some of the grammars are off, too, but I got interested because of the plot so I'm not minding it. Anyway, just telling you the errors. Do hope that you would do something with it.

WOW! That's really, really good so far!

Hmm, so let's see if I understand this. Back in the beginning when the beast attacked Hika, it implanted some kind of dark seed in her (or possibly even possessed her?), which is when she noticed the black dot in her necklace, which is the dark seed. When Elrond was trying to contact Hika, the dark seed in the necklace was interfering with the attempt, preventing Hika from hearing Elrond. She thought she heard something, but the dark seed was preventing light fully escaping the necklace, so it was basically absorbing the connection into itself. Do I have that right? :)

I think Selene's reaction was fine the way it was. The others might think she overreacted or just are curious about it, but we know that there's more to it. We know about her nightmare, so we know that Selene knows more than the others do, and also they're best friends. I would react the same way. I also enjoyed the scene between Selene and Elrond on the balcony. That's why I think they're cute together because they always have a good time together and can cheer each other up. They can always forget about the troubles they're going through to have a good laugh. And then Kari and Haul being all confused because of the laughter. XD! It was funny.

I'm not confused about the evil people, but I just think I don't know enough yet. I know there's an evil sorcerer; is he the one from the beginning? Did he create the beasts? And then there's Quidel; what is his importance? Is he number two in rank after the sorcerer? I see that Jetta is a KM...Kari and the others better watch their backs then! I wonder if they're going to catch on. I like the term, KM#. It's very interesting, almost robotic-ish. I also wonder what the sorcerer is planning to do with Hika and Kari. Is there a black dot in Kari's necklace as well, and we just don't know it yet?

I'm glad that Hika is finally starting to get better. I hope she'll be able to move her arm soon. I also enjoyed the scene between Hika and Sterling. I knew it was him attacking all along! I was expecting it before it even happened actually. When Hika was talking about training and her daggers, I was saying to myself: I bet Sterling is going to sneak attack her. It just sounds like something he would do! Also, because he was training her in the beginning of the story. He's just adorable to me. I love him. He's just a really pleasant character. :) I also really like Haul because I love mysterious guys. He entrigues me!

Well anyways, yay! I'm just about half way done catching up with the chapters! :)

Wow! That was a total surprise! So let's see...*tries to organize thoughts*

If it was my guess, I would sincerely hope that Marius is the victim somewhere in the situation and that somewhere inside, he really cares about his daughters. I would really hate it if Marius seriously turned out to be that coldhearted. I know I'll have to wait a while to find out who he truly is and what he will do whenever he finds about Dugald.

So like I said, wow that was a huge surprise! I've been able to subconsciously guess many events in the story so far, but I never ever was going to expect that! I find it very interesting...very different! Is it only the males (or daughters) in their families since the queens are not related by blood? Can Marius' family do anything cool like that? From this chapter, I will think that Sorin is a pretty cool guy after all, very kindhearted and caring. I'm glad he fits into the category of the whole gang and not the alternative which consists of only Duglad and Marius at the moment. Actually, I think it's really cute now that I think about it. You know, before when Hika was talking to Reddie, and now we know it was really Sorin all along. I'm sure Sortin was really happy when Hika nicknamed him. XD

Hmm, now that we have just a slight glimpse into Haul's mind, nothing too much has changed. However, now I know that Haul only appears to be cold and indifferent on the outside. He's softer on the inside, and I'm glad for that as well. I hope we continue to learn more about Haul, more detailed things about himself to unravel his character if you know what I'm saying. :)

It's true that you have millions of things going on at once, but I don't find that to be a bad thing. With your style of writing, the story so far is completely straightforward, and I haven't ever been confused about anything so far. Sure, it does make us wanting to know answers and then suddenly something else pops up, and we're like, what about the other thing? It's called suspense, my friend, and you create it very well. :) I know that everything will have to be answered in time, so it's all good. You're just torturing your readers with plenty of suspense, and you're making us continuing to read on so we can find out all the answers we're dying to know.

The only thing I find a little overwhelming is the love interests and relationships! It seems that everyone is in love with everyone! I'm usually not bent up on only romance, but I do like to see characters end up with the right person, and I wonder how that will turn out. :) As the story progresses, I see someone liking someone when that person actually likes someone else. Hmm...I still think Selene and Elrond are perfect for each other. I don't know, they just go. Haul and Kari would go together better than Haul and Hika, but I don't think those two are completely out of my mind. Hika's the toughie! I still like Hika and Sterling together for some strange reason, but now we know that Helen like Sterling, and now that Sorin's back into the story, it's like: ahh! But then again, I'm sure things will fall into place deeper into the story. :) So excellent job with this so far! You're keeping me very interested.

Your story took me about four hours to read. Forgive me if I'm a little testy in my review.

Your characters are really, for lack of a better word, relatable. I can relate to them easily. Your confession scene was pretty good, as is most of the drama and emotion in your story.

Nope! I haven't given up on your story. That would be mean of me to do after getting through so many chapters. It's just that your chapters are a little lengthy, and it takes me a while to read a chapter and provide a good review. Also, I've been very busy as well. I hardly have free time anymore, so I've stuck to writing haikus, if you want to check out the ones I've updated, and reading shorter things just to keep in the game. I will definitely catch up in due time! :) So I definitely understand your situation. Take your time in writing!

I think I hate Marius and Dugald the same amount but for different reasons. However, after reading this chapter, I may be a little lenient towards Marius. Will we ever get to hear his thoughts on the matter? Up to this point, we only know what he has been telling Dugald and never his inner thoughts, so I can't tell if he's really that cruel and coldhearted, or if it's what Kari wants to believe, which is that Marius was deeply sad about having to send Hika away, etc.

The little insight about Kari's argument provides a little more detail into the prophecy. I wonder how much of it is actually true, and repeating what I said in the previous paragrph, what Marius thought about the prophecy. Right now I would assume that Kari and Hika are indeed the Twin Lights.

Wow, Selene's nightmare was very interesting. I wonder if it has a secret meaning behind it since she's had it many times before? I really enjoyed that scene because it was very vivid to me, and I could really picture it as I read it. Something a bit scary and disturbing; you described it very well.

I wonder if Hika was really in a car accident, or if she got her scars elsewhere? Since she has no memory of the accident, it opens up the possibility. Hmm...maybe it is connected with Selene's nightmare. Yeah, I do wonder why Selene blamed herself...very interesting and sad. I hope I get to find out soon.

I also wonder what item Dugald is after. Ah! I almost forgot about Sorin, but now that you mentioned him, I do wonder what he's been up to since the last time we saw him was at the way beginning when a whole bunch of stuff hadn't happened or been explained. I guess I'll find out next chapter!

I'm back again! As a quick note, be aware that I have changed my pen name. :)

Anyways! Let's see...I continue to think less and less of Kari's father. I do not think he is fit to be king when he accepts whatever Duglad says with no evidence whatsoever. Obviously he doesn't have a sharp eye for lies or treason with no thoughts of his own without the "help" of Dugald. Does he not see at all that he's being taken advantage of?

Ah! The secret passage is located in the chapel! Nice. Well, it's a great way for Kari to overhear her father and Dugald, and as long as absolutely no one knows about the passage other then her and the others, I do not fear she would be caught. I think it's in the perfect location because as you said, no one would dare to look in fear of being irreverent to the Goddess. Unless you're part of the Darkness Followers and want to plan an assassination...then yeah, maybe. _~ I think we have to worry more about Duglad though. It's definitely not repetitive, and you can continue to use the passage, but just don't let Kari use it various times with little time in between each visit, you know what I'm saying? Other than watching out for that, the passage is a great way to inform us more about the plot as it thickens. I figured that Selene was tricking Ilker because she wouldn't have made it so obvious. If you wanted to hide something, you wouldn't be acting like, "Oh no! Please don't look there!" if whoever or whatever was really there.

I enjoyed your deeper explanation of Aurora and the map. The map, though simple, was very helpful in getting a better image. The rest is up to our imaginations. :)

I pray for Hika and the gang and that Kari will be able to warn them into better safety. But I guess I'll just have to find out! Hmm, but above everything, I'm highly curious as to what Kari realized about Hika. I feel as if I've missed something, but in general fantasy literature, twins are bad omens when reunited. Have you ever read, The Firebrand? A Greek mythology tale of the Trojan war and how Paris and Kassandra were twins; Paris was sent away and later returned to the kingdom to indirectly bring the fall of the Trojan empire. That's the biggest example I can think of. That's why my guess is that whatever it is, it's not the best of things. Even though Hika is a good and kindhearted person, maybe she indirectly brings about something terrible? Maybe it has something to do with that black spot on her necklace? I'm sure everything will work out in the end, but it could start out with something terrible that leads to this massive battle or whatever. Also, with Marius saying "We need to find Hika as soon as possible. The fact that she’s here is a bad omen." leads me to think that something bad will happen because of this.

Anyways, I just have to find out. :) Doing a wonderful job!

Happy late Christmas and Happy New Years! Hope you had a great time during the holidays!

I had some free time, and I realized I hadn't read a chapter in a couple weeks, so I thought I'd read one. This is a time when your Previous Events reminders really come in handy! _~

So I see Hika and the gang are going to search for this Legendary Stone in the elf country. Very interesting! I like the wide range of fantasy elements used in the plot. Also, did you make up these fantasy city names all by yourself or did you have some help? They're very cool and very appropriate...they fit in perfectly!

This is a little late to say, but I love the way Selene calls Elrond Mr. Mage. I dunno...I just find it funny, but I like it. It does show how she isn't from that world though. I feel really sorry for Kari though; she must be in a lot of pain in her current condition and having to worry about her father and all. It was her father that caused her heart condition to flare in the first place...how I hate him so much! I hate Dugald even more if that's even possible...but it is possible. Still...having Marius treat Kari so kindly but not really meaning a word of it...that's so horrible. At least Kari knows about it already.

I hope we come to know a bit more about Haul soon...yes, he's getting more and more mysterious by the chapter, but it's only a matter of time before his character has to unfold. And I'm looking forward to it! :) I'm so curious. There has to be some big secret about him, and I still think it's directly connected to Kari's world.

Hmm, Kari's up to something. Perhaps...a secret passage somewhere in the chapel? I have no idea, but I'll find out next chapter I'm sure! :)

Hmm, I dunno...I just think Sterling and Hika had an interesting first encounter with each other. Kinda funny too...but I am weird. :) Yeah, I guess you can say Sterling is my favorite character. He's pretty cool. I like Reddie in this chapter as well. He seems very intelligent for a dragon, but I'd expect no less when it comes to dragons! I thought it was absolutely adorable when he wrapped his wings around Hika. That's just like a cat rubbing itself against someone or something. It's...a sacred pet! :) It's very kind for a dragon as well.

You did create a lot of suspense in the beginning! I guess Sterling was simply being paranoid after all. I knew it was going to be Paloma, but you almost made me doubt myself...almost. But I knew it was her when you described the knife. Great job though! It did have me on the edge of my seat at least. Hmm, I know Helen is a servant...and many servants do not know their families...does Helen know of hers? If I'm not mistaken, Helen and Paloma are related somehow. And the bracelet? Paloma obviously recognized it from somewhere. They do have physical similiarities...it's a strange guess of mine?

If I had to make an assumption now, I'd have to say: Hika and Sterling, Kari and Haul, and Selene and Elrond. But I'm sure more characters will be introduced so that's only my early guess. :) It was a funny scene when Elrond was laughing at Selene's bracelet. Almost priceless! I imagine Elrond laughing pleasantly and Selene all flustered with annoyance. Hehe. As for their plan...what about Kari's bed? Items in her room? Hika had touched all that stuff the most recently before she left.

I've been puzzled by Hika's necklace...the black dot. I'm sure it has to do with the beast...is it actually inside of her? Like...a dormant possession or something?

I definitely feel for Hika as well as Kari. Hika must be very depressed because she is far from home...and that's why I hope Kari and the gang will find her soon and bring her back to the castle. However, Hika should also realize that maybe Helen and Sterling are there for her as well. Maybe a little bit has to do with Kari...but also for her as well. Hika's a good person, and I'm sure the others are attracted to her because of it. Helen's so kind too...very innocent it seems.

Anyways, you're doing a wonderful job so far! The plot is very well thought of and cool. Lots of suspense, mystery, humor, twists, and all that suff! You also try to give us a lot of information and not so much at the same time to leave certain things up to our imagination for a while. Hooray! I'm about one-third into being caught up with the chapters! :)

Hello Goddness Aurora,

This chapter is not editing, right? I mean you're finished editing to chapter 1, 2(list), and 3. And this chapter is where you already updated. I think from this chapter on is what I've been reading. When I re-read it, it gives me a lot of great memories and I enjoying it. You write a very good story, Goddness Aurora.

Thanks,

KaronePrincess

Hi Goddness Aurora,

Oh...I'm DEFINTELY SURE KEEP READING the story. No, it's not confusing at all. It tells how the two sisters will meet each other.

So Kari and Hika are the "Descendents of Light". WOW...you added the part that when sorcerer put dark magic into those children so they go and "hunt the Descendents of Light". Aren't they are the ones that become the KM in later chapters? You're sure explain about it.

Good reviewing information. They're sure make sense as readers read the later chapters.

You put a lot of work into the story. It's so interesting to read. I really hope you could publish this story.

Best regard,

KaronePrincess

Hi Goddness Aurora,

WOW...this is really great. Itlisted every character and the locations. It's sure a very useful list. Thanks for creating the list. It reminds me of everything. You have a lot of charaters and an interesting story plot and that is what made the story really unique.

Hope you update soon!

Best,

KaronePrincess

Hi Goddness Aurora, it's me KaronePrincess

I'm just finish reading chapter 1. You've shortened it a little bit. Yes, it sounds very mysterious as who is the "mage" and what's happening to them. I love it as always. Who is the mage? Is he the man who transfer Kari back to Aurora when she on earth? And the baby is the princess Kari? I'm thinking at this time it has to do with the Dark Crisis.

Thanks again,

KaronePrincess

I'm not entirely sure why I think Sterling goes better with Hika besides my own imagination, but I'll try to explain something. Well, when Sterling was first introduced, it was really Hika, and her outgoing interests with fighting has a lot to do with it. They have lots in common, and with how I imagine them, they just look like they'd go together. When they first met, they started on good grounds and spent time together when Sterling was helping her out with secret training. I'm sure Sterling has some sort of interest in Hika since he seems to be interested by her when he asked Helen questions and went to tag along with them, and since they started out so amiably, I have no doubt that could easily turn into love with just a little time and patience.

I'm still not sure about the healers once again, but I'll lean more on the side of that they're up to something. Not because of what Sterling overheard, but because Sterling is suspecting them so greatly that I feel I also have to agree. I'm not sure though; Sterling did overhear something that could prove bad, but it could also be a horrible misunderstanding. So I'm just hoping Sterling continues to keep an eye on them until we know for certain.

That horrible, horrible man! Pathetic excuse for a king AND a father! His words were screeching noises to my ears. Was he like that before Dugald started to influence him, or is it just Dugald's fault? Nonetheless, I still hate Marius. He should be thrown out and killed. He disgusts me. :P Poor Kari...I'm so sorry she had to overhear all of that. Now she can't even trust her own father. I wonder what they will do now? It looks like they're on their own to find Hika and Helen. They probably have to make up another plan. Maybe Sorin can help them find her? Hmm, am I pushing my luck when I say...Selene and Elrond?

Hmm, I still don't know what to think about the healers, but I'm thinking you've done that on purpose for the readers to be uncertain. Helen seems to think they are kind people true to their word, and while the healers have made no move or made any slip to blow any possible covers, Sterling still remains suspicious. He's also very smart and perceptive, which means there's always a possibility that he's correct.

I have a feeling there's going to be many confusing love situations with Hika and Kari. In my opinion, this can happen: Sorin will fall in love with Hika instead of Kari like it was suppose to be, but I think Sterling goes better with her unlike Haul which how it was suppose to be as well. Haul can take an interest in Kari instead of Hika, but now we have another character, Elrond, who seems to also favor Kari. Hmm, confusing, yes? :) Personally, I think Sterling goes with Hika, and as for Kari, I'm not sure yet. I would say Haul, but I still don't know if he should really be with Hika.

I hope their plans work out successfully! Maybe Kari and Haul can make up a good story that allows for them to pass unsuspected.