Reviews for Titles Are Difficult
serpent's fire chapter 1 . 4/15/2005
I like this very funny. My family thinks I'm up to something cause I'm smirking at your satire.
expat chapter 3 . 2/1/2005
Wow! This essay is unique, hilarious, and very true. While reading this, I got confused at some points but that is probably because I haven't read any satire in a while. When writing reviews, I say 'keep up the good work' and that sort of stuff a lot but from now on I'll try to be a better reviewer.

You are definitly a 'bad' writer, you have commited the horrible crime of making people think.

Anyway, thanks for reviewing my essay. It's not that great since a wrote it in 7th grade and all, but I'm definitly going to revise it.
Aged Parent Peggotty Barkis chapter 3 . 1/20/2005
You are most certainly one of those bad writers.

What do u want to do with ur writing? Do u want to be published one day?

The satire in this piece was incredibly amusing.
Vayerly chapter 3 . 12/13/2004
This was quite amusing. I particularly enjoyed the second chapter... your "reviews" made me laugh out loud. Congratulations to you.
All Mighty Terrestrial chapter 3 . 11/9/2004
Oh, a good essay.
I must confess, I do quite often submit reviews of the "keep up the good work" variety. This is because often I have nothing to impart in order to improve the caliber of the writing. Why leave a review then, you ask? My reason is two fold. One, I feel the author deserves the courtesy of knowing that someone has at least taken the time to read what they have written. And two, I read such a massive volume of material that I use the reviews as road markers to determine where I've been and to bounce of in the exploration of new material by reading the material of others who have reviewed the same stories I've read or by exploring the favorite stories/authors of the writers I've reviewed. Do I read a lot of flame-worthy garbage this way? You bet. Have I found a lot of undiscovered gems? Most definitely. So even though short reviews may not drive the general writing public to frenzied heights of admiration, they aren't entirely without merit.
Now, on to the banality of my review. I can't think of a single thing you could do to improve this essay. You have a sharp sense of satire, honed to a razor edge. You've obviously done your "research" in terms of picking up on the fictionpress cliches, and your essay flows in a neat, logical progression. I applaud you, and hope you write more thought-provoking essays in the near future.
Since I have no more sentiments to impart, I will push the button to post. If my spelling, grammar, or syntax is in error, I apologize.
girl of death 14 chapter 3 . 9/14/2004
Well...your essay itself was awesome. I agree with most of what you said. Now time from random complaining...how fun.
1. My stories are all about depression, murder, and suicide. Does that make me a good writer? No...not at all. My stories are not good. They are basically random rants created with ideas from...well...I have no clue where my ideas are from.
2. I have no summaries as part of my effort to keep my incredibly annoying, stalker-like friends/enemies from finding my stories. Not because summaries are beneath me. I'm trying though, and I've been adding summaries lately. So go me? Sure...go me.
3. I have no titles on some of mine for the same reason...I say read and review, because certain people on here believe that it is a good practice to read a story, then forget about it. No review, no comments, nothing. I'm hoping that by telling them "read and review, please", they'll figure this out. No luck so far. *sigh* Oh well.
4. You forgot the best kind of review! "Cool story. Please please please review mine, it's about [insert summary] and it would be SO COOL if you could review it! Like, totally!" I love that one.
5. I saw the review you left somewhere else...I just want to comment on something you said there: Seeing as 9/10 of the writers on FictionPress are teenagers, there will naturally be a lot of teen fiction. "Write what you know" is another commonly used saying, and if someone's 14, they're not going to write about 30-year-olds. I know you weren't criticising that genre of writing, but I just got upset when I read that. Probably because I write that. But yeah, that's ok.
6. I have my favorite stories/authors on my list because I don't want to loose track of their work. Not always because I think they are a great writer.
7. My god, how did you learn to write such good essays? My essay is awful compared to this. I think what you said about the typing in reviews is hilarious...have you ever tried reading the stories that are typed in internet shorthand? "once upon a tyme snO wYte lived in da hood wit da 7 dwarfs" Those are fun to read. *rolls eyes*
I think my review has been long enough. I used myself as an example because I don't know any other authors on here, by the way. I would love to see more of your ranting-essay-type-stuff, so if you update this, I know I'll read it. Farewell!
asgard chapter 3 . 9/12/2004
*slumps down further in chair*
I am a bad, bad reviewer and deserve anthrax in my mailbox. Send some over if I ever write "keep up the good work!" again.
Thank you muchly for taking up pens against the petty writers of FictionPress. You truly rock.
~asgard
Werecat99 chapter 3 . 9/5/2004
This just came to mind? What about those who review practically begging you to review back? I'd like to see your thoughts on that.
I've never seen a flame war like this, but I've seen people type about such things.
Methinks that some people have way to much free time.
Thanks for the enjoyable read. Goes to my favs list.
Werecat99 chapter 2 . 9/5/2004
*Your great! There were a few typos, thogh. Keep up the good work!*
Good heavens, if I had a penny for each one of *those* reviews I've got! It can drive one crazy, right?
*just bbecuz im furry! & warm-blooded! & my parentz
were cats! dont mean im a mammal!*
Ah, feline logic. Who could argue with this? Incidentally, have you bben talking to my cats?
I thoroughly enjoyed this one as well. Thank you for posting this. I so love your sense of humour. Fits the subject, actually.
Werecat99 chapter 1 . 9/5/2004
Heh, I loved the sarcasm in the opening paragraphs. But your words are oh so true. It fits well into 'horror', methinks.
And I *knew* I was doing something wrong when coming to inspiration sources! Thank you a million times for enlightening me. I fear now that I must take all of my works down since I've obviously failed.
Seriously now, I absolutely loved this. It is scary that many authors here actually do things this way.
Reading on...
Neon Tetra chapter 3 . 8/9/2004
Oddly enough, I'm not sure if Kit is mixing serious and satirical comments, or if it's all serious or all satire. If my first impression is correct, I'd like to point out that, in the section above the one to which Kit refers, the critic is male. I tried to use gender-neutral terms; when that wasn't possible, I alternated the gender of the critic with each example. Perhaps, in the future, I should refer to every critic as "it."
kitvampie chapter 3 . 8/3/2004
You did it again.
"Tell everyone that you have decided to forgive the critic, since she doesn't know any better."
Only this time, you did it three times!
"If the critic accuses you of being sanctimonious, forgive her again, more loudly."
and:
"Tell everyone that you forgive her for that, too."
I understand that this may be just some coincidence, but I like pointing everything out and taking the high road. The note at the bottom was realy helpful; my brother would have taken it seriously. Later
kitvampie chapter 2 . 8/3/2004
Again, the twisted sense of humor you so blatantly display is really quite amusing, but I do have to ask you about something:
"Use a combination of racial epithets, cheap shots, and general insults to keep that writer on the ground, where she belongs."
Why did you say "where she belongs"? Are you implying that criticts should be sexist idiots and try to put down female writers? (HA! according to you essay this is like the worst review, period.)
kitvampie chapter 1 . 8/3/2004
I can see many writers on fictionpress actually following your work, not knowing the meaning of sarcasm. I love it; can't wait to read chapter two.
M.P. Solo chapter 1 . 7/29/2004
This is great stuff. I have fanfiction that's more unique than some original works I've seen around, and there's no shortage in the number of authors and "literary works" that could be used as examples to your "advice." It's too bad you can't force this story on some of the people that work this way, or else you'd be getting thousands of railroads, instead of just ten.
...I could've sworn I looked through your works before, but given how long it took me to see this, I guess I haven't. Looks like I've got some sources to research...bwa ha ha ha...
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