Interesting way to write a poem. I like the way it seems stilted, which adds to the flow. Great job, and welcome to Fiction Press. I myself am only a few days old here, and I feel at home already

Awesome. Very well written. You set up a dark and lonely mood that gave me chills. Your word choices are great. I found myself getting lost in them. Also, what I like a lot about this poem is the way you used rhyme. It was very well done. It's hard to writers to come up with rhymes that work and flow. But, this really seemed to flow smoothly and nicely, which is so great for the reader. you're talented. great job!

That was brilliant. I really loved the imagery and descriptions. Really I'm lost for words.

I loved it! Im not sure if you intended for the format to appear like this, but it was very suited to the poem. The short sentences kind of blurred to form the poem, if that makes sense...