|Reviews for The Path|
| me3gogi chapter 1 . 7/30/2004
im wondering where she got such a deep idea from, yet expressed it so simply. ok - let me re-start. she picked an amazing idea, and expressed it really well - yet in a non-cliche way. wow. i think i wrote what i meant. tell her well done.
| RuathaWehrling chapter 1 . 7/20/2004
You're right, it's definitely good for a ten-year-old. Especially the first two lines. :)
You might suggest to her, if she won't be offended (and is interested), that she consider altering the last line. Right now, it could be read as if she is wandering blindly, which I think is not what was meant. Instead, I think what was desired was to say that she is breaking her own trail. In a short poem, you've got to be especially careful about how you say things, since brevity gives every word great weight.
Anyhow, I'm not sure if she'll be interested in my opinion, but I thought I'd throw it out, and let you decide! Please encourage your niece to keep writing, in either case!
| Cirien Phoenix chapter 1 . 5/16/2004
It's a shame she can't have an account. I forgot about the age thing until you brought it up at the end. This sounded a little depressing, but it also supports indivivuality. I think this is a great poem for girl her age. Tell her to keep it up and on her (13th?) birthday you NEED to get her an account!
Cirien Phoenix of the Eternal Phlame
P.S. Thank you for the review on "My Inner Demon".
| William Ironclad chapter 1 . 4/4/2004
Wow. Well put. I really like this one a lot. Your niece seriously has a future in this.
The Great, the Mighty, the Orc King
| DarkPharaoh1666 chapter 1 . 3/31/2004
I see a future in poetry for her. Impressive.