Reviews for The Return
Roadside Dryer chapter 4 . 4/23/2004
Okay, good. I get it! Now i know why! I think. Anyway great job, update soon!
Roadside Dryer chapter 3 . 4/23/2004
Okay, lots to say. I liked the discribtion of hope he changed but something seems wrong. It seems like he killed the demon to easily, and why does the deamion want to kill these people?
Roadside Dryer chapter 2 . 4/23/2004
Good, interesting. Poor Horton! Normally I would like making the ending a few more chapters in just so the story was longer. Anyway great job! Charge to the chapter!
Roadside Dryer chapter 1 . 4/23/2004
Interesing. I have only one complaint, when you write he, you write h instead of the proper word, it just gets a little confusing. Good job! After I do a few other things I'll come back and read the rest. Thanks for the review! Updates soon. (its the remake of an oringal story that didn't have a point) Good job, very good! Have I found someone at last who actually know what vampires are? What they do? Things about them? Like everybody just makes things up and guesses, it drives me crazy!Fav stories
Indravyn chapter 2 . 4/23/2004
Ah! Poor Holten. I'm not going to saying anything about sentence structure cause I already talk to you about that ;; This was a good chapter though.
Indravyn chapter 1 . 4/23/2004
This was very interesting. It has me intrigued so far and curious. now to settle that curiousity with the next chapters!
one winged fallen angel chapter 3 . 4/19/2004
very intriguing chapter. it sets up the story well and builds the suspense. i can't wait for the next chapter. i like how you separate the different scenes of the chapter, but i do have one complaint. your paragraphs are quite long. my suggestion, especially for ease of read, is to break them up into smaller paragraphs in the future.
Falkner chapter 3 . 4/12/2004
That chapter definitely had a lot of action. It'll be interesting to see what the back story is to all of this.
Jinx86 chapter 2 . 4/7/2004
Honestly I really don't get the point of the story, why was Horton murdered for one. is someone out to get John or something to make him pay. Man I am seriously confused?
Falkner chapter 2 . 4/5/2004
That was a good chapter. The only recommendation I have is for you to separate the paragraphs when different people speak. Other than that there really wasn't anything that I noticed. I'm really interested in where the story is going now and why those people were injured/killed. Hmm...
one winged fallen angel chapter 2 . 4/4/2004
Okay, now i am definitely interested. In the past my reviews have usually not been good, but for once i have no complaints. i just want it to be updated. By the way, i love Robert Hunter being a football coach.
one winged fallen angel chapter 1 . 4/4/2004
pretty good start. i like it. very little grammatical or spelling mistakes. this looks as if it could prove interesting
Falkner chapter 1 . 4/1/2004
This chapter was very good; your use of description is thourough and accurate, and other than a few typos where there was "H" instead of "he" I didn't see anything really wrong with it.
I like how you started off introducing the character the way you did; it makes the story seem more personal. I can't wait to see what's going to happen now. Keep up the good work!
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