Reviews for 8pm
Kyo Kaisui chapter 1 . 3/9/2006
your words flow ver ver nicely, i like it!
AboveTheSalt chapter 1 . 6/17/2005
Now THIS I like. Again, you've captured the same brutal in-your-face honesty as your other poem but for some reason, I prefer this. The despair so often seen in people who deem themselves alternative-less is definitely here, evoking a kind of sympathy for the person in this situation. I really like this. Great piece.

-salt.
and flowers chapter 1 . 6/6/2005
absolutely lovely, darling
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 5/29/2005
p.s. Your poem strikes at the heart—for civilized we are so easily trampled on in the name of forebearance and gentility. m

There's a misery that comes from politeness,

A daily suffering that acids heart,

Corroding soul's composure with foul doubt,—

If we had just been nastier first day,

Perhaps the straggler would not have stayed,

But as it is they took over our life,

Enmeshed we find our souls wrapped like caught fish,

And scarce can find a moment which to breathe,

Sweet freedom we knew before strange bondage.
this is britt chapter 1 . 5/25/2005
amazing. love can fizzle out so easily.
IarannCros chapter 1 . 5/5/2005
Erm...
youzi chapter 1 . 4/29/2005
This is an excellent piece! I liked how you decribed eveything down to the last line..."Even for one syllable you’re still paying'..and how u used numericals to draw my attention to each image. Nicely done D
SleepDontWeep chapter 1 . 12/13/2004
first of all i must say tanx for ur reviews on 'thoughts of eva' and 2ndly i want to say that this poem is so differemt! so mildly haunting! so unusual; its normal and so intricate, its unique!'thumbed markings down the spine'eerie! anyways this is brilliant!and i was just wondering if u'd mind reviewin my story: truly madly it is just incredibly personal to me and my most intense story ive ever written!hope u like it!much love andadmiration xxGRetchen45 xx
Erys chapter 1 . 10/7/2004
Wow, I really liked this poem. Its sad and touching, knowing that he's so close and yet so far away. Dirty scumbag that uses money!
Hmm, for some reason, the first stanza doesn't flow as well as the rest of your poem. Or maybe its just me. :)
Fey
PaulAsaran chapter 1 . 7/10/2004
I always get fired up when I read things like this. Read my poem "Animals" and you may understand why. But aside from that it's well worded and, as you may have noticed, got me a bit fired up.
Nadia20 chapter 1 . 5/25/2004
This was one thought provoking piece! It really tells you the truth about people: the strange relationships and the way they'll fritter your money away. I suppose you're being cheated most of the time...anyway, great poem!
Kaliella chapter 1 . 5/17/2004
This is written in a very clever way that leaves the reader kind of confused; getting an idea of what the poem is talking about but not being able to grasp any one happening from the poem. Lol that's a confusing review; I'm sorry. But yeah this is really nice, it does flow very well and I can feel your emotion.
infeatheredeyes chapter 1 . 5/5/2004
beautiful...
okinawa baby chapter 1 . 4/25/2004
this is one of the best poems ive ever read. it flows so smoothly and it actually made me think (wow-zers)anyways...good job!
Apocrypha chapter 1 . 4/6/2004
Interesting. I likes. Well written and whatnot lol es muy bueno.
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