Reviews for As beautiful as I am oblivious
kaika switched chapter 1 . 5/7/2004
That was beautiful. I loved the use of the parantheses and whatnot. It was very effective and gave this mysterious piece a nice touch. Wonderful work. Keep writing!
ICU2 chapter 1 . 4/25/2004
beautiful; I cant think of anything else to say. I loved the way it made me feel
Dirty Wallpaper chapter 1 . 4/16/2004
oh thank god! once and a while fictionpress gets more than mildly suffocating because you just see so many peoms that are teh same, cliche, imageless, or just plain boring. but then you come across one which is original in basically everything that it is...refreshing, and suddenly fictionpress doesnt seem so horrible.
you are quite close to goddess raking right now i hate to say.
i really loved this, especially the sections which included plastic stars.
"Disarray-(because what's the use if all he wants is to be faded?)" lovely...i absolutely dont get the relation to coffee stains and a sweater, but i love it...so maybe on a deeper and very hidden level, lol.
"His distant freckles whispering about the hours we spent floors below" oh, such a divine image and thought of freckles whispering, oh wow, just so lovely, like velvet, truly.
"he's as beautiful as the secrets he keeps coveted,/the ones I drew out of him with kisses under the plastic stars"
wonderful! just so intimate and dark, and hauntingly perfect.
if my brain, which seems to be working quite tragically today, is correct...then i will have got the whole concept of the poem right, and if not, well then i suck then dont i?
a woman who is oblivious to her lovers suicidal anguish?
you: no
me: ...
me again: double and infinite damn.
anyway, continuing on...i loved the last bit, i really really reeheeally did...
"I sit up in my bed/The shuddering windows hint at what the plastic stars/didn't fully assemble." i just loved it, i mean once again i was minorly confused at what exactly was going on, but still, i loved it.
im sure that if i had a higher IQ i would be dying at teh greatness of this poem now. but seeming my IQ is quite depressing and im bordering on death then im guessing that this was superb.
such wonderful work, this on my favs list like a done thing that is done.
lovely lovely lovely! ! ! ! !
KUDOS!
Almost Infamous chapter 1 . 4/11/2004
This perfectly describes the feeling that someone gets after that first-not-quite-love-but-something-more is over. I love the repition of the plastic stars and the flowing metaphors you used. You were able to use a nice selection of vocabulary without having it sound pretentious.
"(he's as beautiful as the secrets he keeps coveted,"
wowee. that line excites me but in a mellow way. if you know what I mean.
-bee
this is britt chapter 1 . 4/10/2004
this is just so violently beautiful, it sticks in your mind as you read it.
not sure yet chapter 1 . 4/7/2004
WOW, now that was just beautiful and incredible, i loved every word of it, the stuff in the quotes, really helped set the mood and style different, esp with the brackets in some areas, i dont know, its just beautiful language and scene and it was the right moment and mood for me to read this, that always feels really good to read something like that, i dunno, anywayz, enough with that, awesome imagery and flow and i have nothing useful to say, excellent job
poser chapter 1 . 4/7/2004
That was really good. I really liked the little relationship thing in your bio section a lot. You should try writing a story about that and use the awsome description that you used. Maybe from the same first person perspective. Ehem, sorry I was supposed to talk about the poem.
Fae Caspian chapter 1 . 4/6/2004
This has to be my favorite poem of yours, right next to the sean one you wrote a while ago. LOL. but honestly, it was so beautiful. It makes me want to cry. Its amazing, you're-and its-and your talent-
you whore.
LOL, i love you though.
EVERYONE WHO READS THIS CAN BE JEALOUS BECAUSE SHE"S MY SISTER. HA. MY TWIN! ISN"T SHE FANTASTICO? BUT HAHAHAHAH, SHE"S MY SISTER!
penumbral chapter 1 . 4/6/2004
*blown away*Wow it was AMAZING [as usual :)]. I loved the title, and last line was powerful [to me anyway]...