Reviews for A Reason to Live
RuathaWehrling chapter 1 . 6/14/2004
Hey there! Thanks for your reviews!
Ok, this one's a bit longer than a haiku, so I'll try it. I comment as I read, so it should be all in order!
1.) "Are you alright Mr. Schiller?" - Picky, but there should be a comma before "Mr."
2.) "rail road tracks" - railroad is one word.
3.) " the prospect of dieing" - dying.
4.) "I guess you really should be careful what you wish for." - This is the first time all story that you've used "I". Don't do it. It detracts from the story, since the rest of it had been from Greg's perspective. Leave the last line as something Greg's thinking as he falls, or something.
Very well done. I couldn't even come up with much to correct you on. :) You did an excellent job showing Greg's realistic feelings. I'd say the ending went a little too quickly, but that's just personal preference.
Well done!
Ruatha
Saharian chapter 1 . 5/4/2004
This is awesome! Well the writing is awesome, the genre is slightly depressing but hey someone has to write about it. I love the way you express the pain and the last line really adds to the overall effect and completes it. Great job!
Saharian
Eagle Seance chapter 1 . 4/28/2004
Eerily beautiful. I love that last line. u've done well writing from the POV of a man. well done.
BLOUWHO chapter 1 . 4/9/2004
this is a really good story i wish you wouldn't have told me the story befor i read it. keep up the good work