|Reviews for Barging In|
| InuyashaLuver99 chapter 1 . 4/26/2004
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Way too much dialogue. Almost all the story is dialogue. Ask yourself this:
What about the characters?
What do they look like?
What are they like?
Where does this take place? Discribe it more.
You need more action in this story. It was an ok start, but if you add more action and discription it will definitly be yours.
I hope you are not inflamed by this Review, but if you need any help email me with questions/comments at
This is for anyone who needs help.