Reviews for Dark Hunter
Flora chapter 20 . 7/31/2005
OH MY GOD! This story is amazing. You manage to capture what Aiur is feeling so well, and convey what she has been through so vividly that I found myself clutching my arms when she was cutting herself. This story is brilliant and i like where it's going. You have a clear sense of where the story is set, and I have a clear idea of th surroundings. It is a brilliant idea - and i love the names! lol!
anonymous chapter 20 . 7/26/2005
i really LOVE this story! i really hope u can update soon after u get back!happy trails!
Pamela chapter 20 . 7/25/2005
I just started reading this a few days ago and I could hardly tear myself away from the computer! You should be happy to know that this is the first story on FictionPress that I've read. I just want to say that this is an amazing story! I feel like I know these characters better than they know themselves. Aiur is starting to open up more and more. It's sad and a little frustrating because she has been so brainwashed by this guy who practically raised her. So set in those ways. But all the defenses and walls she's put up are slowly being torn down...by Fenix. Who I just adore!lol He's really confused right now isn't he? I would be too if I were in love with my kidnapper! Anyway, I love the way he feels the need to protect her. He's always thinking that he wants to keep her away from anything that might hurt her and I love that. I also like he can't stand the silence so he never shuts up. It's sort of amusing to see Aiur get so annoyed with him!lol I can't wait to see what happens when Keith and the other raiders catch up with her. I'm interested to find out about their last encounter. And I love the flashbacks.I love getting little glimpses into Aiur's past. Their like little puzzle pieces slowly coming together. I'm dying to find out what happens next! I'm so hooked on this story, I don't know what I'll do till you get back!:( But I'll wait for you!lol Keep up the amazing work! And have fun on your french thing! I'll be on here August 6th waiting impatiently for you to update!
BrainStewagain chapter 19 . 7/17/2005
By the way, sorry abotu the layout of my review. It's like a solid chunk of writing. I didnt mean for that to happen, I was using a different programme when I saved it cuz I;m on a different computer. So yea, sorry if its hard to read :P 15 minutes till France... woo!~BS
BrainStew chapter 19 . 7/17/2005
Hi again! I took longer than usual this time. I did read it a while ago, but I just never had the time because of the amount of coursework I had to give in. So yea. Now I have time (well technically I don’t, because I have exams in 3 days and I haven’t even started working) to sit down and type up a review! once again, thank you SO SO much! I really….just….wow. lol. Another chapter dedicated to me. I really just…. Lol I cant really put what I’m trying to say into words but you get the idea :P thanks basically. Seeing that makes me know that the time I spend reviewing does make a difference. Because it really does take a long time to do this. I’m starting this review at 17:44 and I’m gonna see how long it takes me :) lol I’m weird ok. :POk I have a feeling this review might be slightly shorter so sorry in advance! I have to go out soon and I definitely wont be able to post for a couple of weeks after today so this is gunna be one of the last chances I get to do now to the chapter…“He woke ... or maybe he simply opened his eyes.” I liked that opening sentence. It’s like, in a way he didn’t wake, because all he’s really doing is opening his eyes to something so bad it could be a I love Fenix. Even when she tries to commit suicide, he still takes some of the blame for it. He’s such an amazing guy.(The part before now was written about three weeks before the next part…. So be warned if I repeat, or anything)It’d good that he’s finally starting to understand her more. She’s such a mystery, not just to Fenix, but to the readers too. Her past is really hazy. We get flashbacks and it’s starting to become clearer gradually, but it’s still way too clouded to actually get a full look at her, and why she is the way she is.“He’d been a fool to ever think she’d screwed up his life. She’d altered it.” “Or maybe he just didn’t want to live without her”. Aww… I cant believe he’s not blaming her for taking him away from his life. Although, I mean, I can see why he did it, and if he did blame her, after realizing how she reacts to blame….well that’d be silly :P lol but ah well. It’s still an incredibly good hearted thing to do.“Flowers floated around her, blown softly by a breeze that didn’t exist”. I like that line. It’s a really pretty image. And also kind of ominous cuz of the lack of breeze… It’s like that is so unnatural that you just know it’s too good to be true and it’s gunan get are so many hidden meanings. Ity;s so hard to tell whether they’re meant to be there or not. The fact that she cant catch the blossoms, it could be like, the petals are pure and symbolize good and stuff, yet she cant get a grip on any of them. As in, she feels she can never be pure… or good. Or whatever. I dunno lolThis is the part where it gets hard to understand now… so if I totally get everything wrong, sorry :P At least im trying eh? LolThe way the dew turns to blood, and the way the laugh was killed, it’s like everything innocent and pure is being killed in her is bloody. I cant tell if this is like…something in her mind – like she is trying to torture herself for everything she’s done unconsciously – or whether its like…an image that she’s meant to see, sent by someone or I dunno. It’s kinda hard to decipher.“In the sky above, a moon rose in time with a sun, and both were red.” That’s a nice line :) lol. It’s as if, by both day and night, she’s still blood-stained, no matter skeleton is kinda hard to understand. It’s like she’s being tortured, and made to feel pain just as she inflicted upon others, vbut worse. The image with her dad, the old woman etc….well…. to be quite honest it baffled me. I don’t really know what the woman could have to do with it. The whole image with the three voices, well it confused me also. The obvious thing I can think of, is that she is at the gate that leads to either heaven or hell. Purgatory… is apparently (I looked it up) “The place where the souls of those who have died must go to be cleansed of all their sin before they can be admitted to Heaven.” Lol. So maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s like… she hasto serve some kind of punishment, or do some kind of trial so that she can be submitted to when they say that she is “holding on”, maybe she feels some kind of tie to Fenix. Either that she wants to go back because she has some kind of affection towards him now, or maybe she feels she has to go back to make up for the crimes she has committed. Was the person she found familiar who was burning fenix? Because if it is, it just backs up the theory that that’s what she was holding on to. She was relieved that he was ok. So this is good :) lolShe’s so set against the notion that Fenix might possibly want to help her. She’s an amazing character. The story wouldn’t be the same without her, obviously, but she’s so frustrating. She’s so stubborn, so set on her twisted ideas that she wont let any other possibilities enter her mind. She shoves them away. And its just so damn stupid. Lol. But I really really hate what she’s going through. How can she get better, when all this bad stuff keeps happening to her. It all just seems so impossible right now. Lol“Every word she said reached out a cold hand and wrapped it around his heart.” – that’s a nice line. Really effective.“When she finally lifted her eyes to his, they weren’t the eyes of a hunter or a killer or even a seventeen-year old girl. They were the eyes of a child, dark as the spaces between the stars, and just as eternal, full of so much emotion and yet lacking so much, so much time and story. Pieces of broken innocence drifted in their expanse, strewn like shining diamond-like tears over the floor.” Sorry, I don’t usually pull out huge chunks of texts, usually only the specific lines, but I really liked this so much. She’s become so vulnerable, that she’s let her entire guard down. She’s basically showing him who she is behind all the shields, all the masks that she’s put around her. And when he sees it, she’s just a scared young girl in need of help. The last sentence is really nice. It creates a beautiful, yet sad image and it’s just really really good.”Choking, he opened his arms silently, and she moved into them.” – Such a good ending. This is precisely why I love your work so much, You opened it amazingly, ended it with such an appropriate ending, and so sweet, and kept it up throughout the story also! I love it. I really do. You’re so anyways, this took a while. And I am leaving for France in…. 28 minutes. Lol. So I’m sorry its not as good as usual btu I had to get it up before I left. I’m goin for a week, then straight away I’m going to Scotland for 2 weeks, then England for one week. SO I’m away for a month. I’ll do the next chapter as soon as I get back. I havnt read it yet, but I’m really looking forward to it. It’s been so tempting. Lol. Ah well. Hope your having a nice time on the trip! I will be speaking to you soon! Toodles x~BS

PS- There is literally NO CHANCE I will ever stop reading this story. If you were away for a year, you could go knowing for sure that I’d be here when you got back. I’m hooked, and will be hooked till the end. Lol. Good job :P
Huggleskitty chapter 20 . 7/13/2005
August 5th... august 5th... *starts a countdown* this fic has me totally addicted. Have fun on your french thing!

Happy Writing!~Kitten~
Morgan Davis chapter 20 . 7/13/2005
i love your style of writing! truly i do! however i think that some times you get a little to carried away with describing how a person is feeling. . . there is nothing wrong with that but i will admit that at some points i was scrolling down and skipping some of it because i just wanted the juicy drama. i think that your metaphors are great tho! really i love how you describe things! ! ! just keep in mind that it can be don in a sentence or two, it doesnt have to continue on for a couple paragraphs. . . not all of them at least. . . :Dwell keep up the great workhurry and update!morgan
George Cooper chapter 20 . 7/12/2005
Dang. Each chapter keeps getting better and better. Where in the world do you get your inspiration? *Nods in awe* 'Cause where ever you get your inspiration must be a very powerful place! Dang do I envy you your imagination! Keep going!
anonymous chapter 7 . 7/10/2005
if i could explain how good your story is i would, but i can't because nothing woulddescribe it...
IntentionallyLeftBlank chapter 20 . 7/5/2005
...hello again! how are you? sorry I haven't reviewed in forever...(please ignore that last thing...that was me being stupid...)...

...aw...Aiur's opening up...and...they're so awesome...sad story...made me...hey! I swear! I got something in my eye! (I suck at lying...can you tell?)

...sorry if that's a little hard to follow...

...you're gone until August? aw...oh, well...I'll be waiting...

...until next time...see ya!
liz chapter 20 . 6/30/2005
You're awesome, and don't you ever doubt it. Thank you for writing so much of this fic. You said once it was draining. I can see why. You're amazing. Please don't leave this site.
raine0211 chapter 4 . 6/28/2005
because you're such a good and fluid writer i think i should tell you this. sometimes you just have this shock of bad grammar in your story and it totally breaks me out of the mood. if you didn't write so well i wouldn't notice it because it would be riddled with bad grammar. but yours isn't so i think you need to proof it a bit. like this 'and hit the most central point eight times out...'...it should be 'central most point'. it just helps fluidity. otherwise. great story. i'm rereading it cause i haven't read anything on fp since december. :) keep up the good work.
twistedICYjunk chapter 20 . 6/27/2005
hehe I think thats the quickest you've updated in the whole time I've been reading this fic! This chapt was really good, I was glad that Aiur started feeling something for him, it makes her seem a little bit more human. Maybe in an upcoming chapter you could do a falshback to tell us who the people are that are chasing them? I hope you had fun on your trip!

-kate
Raomina chapter 20 . 6/27/2005
I have a question for you. Have you ever read Queen of Glass by S.J. Maas? In fictionpress I mean, because if you haven't, then I'm sure you would enjoy reading it very much. I love it. It is pretty similar to Dark Hunter but in a more extreme manner. The lead character is an assassin, so...yeah.

Anyway, this story is briliant. Wondered why I'd never read it earlier when I read Protector. You have a talent for these kind of stories. You know, those that includes traumas and angst. Romance too. You just describe the characters' thoughts and feelings very vividly until I can actually feel their pain and cry with them.

How long does it take you to write a chapter? Average? Must be a heck of a long time, since they seem to be all really well thought out.

Anyway, you might be sick of hearing this again, but, GREAT JOB!
Emmy chapter 20 . 6/26/2005
A girl lost in herself. A boy lost in her. Her angst shown in a way it is almost...beautiful. Showing her want to escape the world. Believing everything told to her was a lie, yet she is just lieing to herself. Believing everyone she comes into contact with dies. Wanting to stop feeling so numb and wishing to be able to break down and cry. Has the ability to do anything, yet does not flaunt her talents. Hating what she has become, but cannot do anything else, being taught only of what she has become. Desperately trying to hide emotions she thought she could lock away, but no.. everything she does shows weakness.. why is this boy effecting her so much? Maybe he will show her that she is not to lost to be saved.. she just has to.. let go..

A Beautiful Tragedy..
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