Reviews for Dark Hunter
amanda chapter 20 . 6/26/2005
OMG THAT WAS AWESOME! i LOVED it! girl, you can write romance SO well. i love how realistic you make it. i can totally believe both fenix and aiur moving from the hateful, distant relationship they had into something beautiful. PLEASE LET THEM HAVE THAT! i wanna scream and CRY now. that was amazing. holy shit, girl. holy SHIT. youre good. damn i hate you. have a great trip. and thank YOU for writing such a brilliant story. the depth to it is amazing. YOU ROCK!
amanda chapter 19 . 6/26/2005
OMFG did i not review this chapter? im such an idiot! AH! i read it and i loved it and yeah. okay. sorry!
Lily-007 chapter 20 . 6/26/2005
hey i didnt know u were in french :d lolBut thats not the topic :dI liked this chappy, fenix was caring, nice..and aiur was kinda more calm but more hurt too well anyway it was good. im gonna have a hard time to wait until august :( .
Hotkitty chapter 20 . 6/26/2005
heya. half this review is frm 2day, and half frm, like, yesterday. hell, by the time i post it it mite be a 3rd frm 2 days ago and another third frm yesterday and then 2day. :P. o well. i'll mark where the days are diff.

FRIDAY

haha. CHEATER. CHEATER-R-R. watch the nite sky fading red? that is SO soco. :P. why dont u just do what i do and GIVE UP with the chap titles alrdy. hehe. i just rite Chapter 7. or something like that. it used to have titles. then i kinda gave up. titles are hard. wah. i 4 got 2 tell u about this book i read, it was a realli creepi book. and, seeing as i probabli wont get round 2 emailing u b4 u go i'll tell u about it in the review. (im pathetic, i know.) wellz. actualli. remind me over msn,. cause my sis'll probabli kik me off if i take too long. so i'll read thsi first. and i FINALLI reviewed circle. well, i reviewed chap 22. it wont let me review chap 23. so im gunna tri that 2moro. im so PROUD of myself. onli... 4 more fics left 2 review. heh. d*mn. and thats not even including the author alerts. wah! they all update way 2 much! ahem *cough. nw for this chapter. haha. the lil subtle thing. girl, i dont blame any1 for not noticing it. i definitely didnt. it was WAY 2 subtle. :P.

AW. UR GONNA MISS ME? omg. im so touched. omg. aww. thats so CUTE. :D. aw. :(. im gunna miss u to. LOADS. i mean, ur the onli reason i get nite shifts on the comp evry saturday and refuse to watch more than one family film a week cause i wanna catch u online. and we always end up tlking about the most random stuff. like, do we ever havean insightful conversation. wow. i wonder how much we HAVE tlked 2 each other. i mean, if we saved all our convos. ha. i realli need 2 go bak and look at the old reviews (and repli 2 the new 1s) by the time ive finished this, if im still in th emood and no1 kiks me off, im gunna repli 2 the email and do the review for P2. i need 2 get it off my chest. and i like analysing stuff. its fun. it gives me an excuse not 2 write. 1 of the best ways 2 put off writing *cough* im gunna try 2 write 2moro tho. i mean it! iwanna draw a picture first. heh. for once, not of ppl. well... there will be SOME ppl in it. heh. but it wont be entireli focused on ppl. :D. *cough* i'll read now. and review the actual fic. *cough* hugglez* :(. i wish u didnt have 2 go. i mean, i was looking 4ward 2 july something cause we go on a scool trip, then i remembered ur leaving and i was like WAH. who am i meant 2 rant about it 2. :(. and u'll miss my bday. *glares* i'll keep a diary. hmmn. and ill tlk 2 my diary. thats what most ppl do...rite. heh. theres nothing pathetic about it. *goes all shifty eyed* ahem. in a sense, i guess its good for me that ur going *breathes in* itll make me more independent. *breathes out* itll teach me to not always rely on u 2 check my chaps... or i could stop writing for that time al2gether. *bashes hed with stik* must... not... give... in ... to... temptation. heh. ok. i am SO on trak. i'll read the chapter now. :D.

and, btw, wtf is purgatory. do u put these words in here on PURPOSE just 2 confuse me. cause u know im easili confused. oh. haha. that reminds me of another stori. on msn, remind me 2 tell u about the blonde PE thing.

Brilliant way 2 start the chapter. beginning with a question is always good, cause it makes the reader continue to read so that they can find an answer. *bows down to the brilliant kait* but water... hmmn. thats different. its usualli fire in your case. not water. aiming for a contrast, are we?

omg. im strting 2 stress out now. i just remembered that i havent sent a letter 2 my THREE (dotn ask me how there became such a big number) penpals in like, 3 months. heh. and i owe them photos. d*mn. *cough* ill have 2 work on that. ;D. now for the chap. *coughs*

u've written it as if shes some sort of soul, and not in her body. as if shes floating and shes all distanced from everything. and then theres your much loved repetition. "constant, so constant. Too constant." wich makes it sound all the more brilliant.

in herself or out of herself? hmmn. i dont get that. *shrugs* oh well. u love using roks as part of ur imagery -ive noticed that. like theres the whole rocks jutting from the surface of something. and water hitting rocks... its like, you love the concept of the sea and beaches etc. in ur imagery. just like i love caves and shattered mirrors haha. i get realli repetitive with those *clushes* oh well. i just thought of something. have you ever considered how someone metaphors reflect upon their way of thinking. i mean, my metaphors are always centred around a similar sort of thing with similar images onli put in2 different persepectives and so are yours. i mean, ur sound diff evry time but they follow the same sort of pattern which is diff frm mine. like, i love the way u always put things about cutting off circulatio. heh. im going off trak now. and my sis just came and asked me 2 get off. so i'll read a lil more and write more of this review, then paste it on2 a word document and send u this review and the rest of it 2moro. i'm gunna tri and make it long. cause ur leaving *sobs hystericalli* and i dont wanna say bye on a crap review. heh. :D.

"Something in the back of her mind told her she should be reacting different." just thought id point out, do u reckon it would sound better if you put "reacting differently" insted of different. cause, it sounds a bit more like slang if you put different. :).

SUNDAY ( 2day)

d*mn. i just got a keyboard, rite? and my sisters wont stop playing with the DJ thing and i kan hear it going over and over again. its so IRRITATING. I mean, how IMMATURE. theyre fascinated with the DJ sound. *rolls eyez* and theyre making sounda of gunshots and stuff, 2. *rolls eyez some more* and u think UR brother is a pest, u havent met my sisters. theyre wat i would class as pests. wah... theres 2 mani of em.

omg. wow. this fic confuses me so much. haha. i so totalli do not get aiur, at all. i mean, her thoughts are so effin complex. ur WAY 2 good at this for your own good. heh.

wow. the use of repetition is brilliant. it makes it sound REALLI good. and the way you have her thoughts all linking together and then you have a totalli seperate line wich is related 2 the thoughts of the para b4 but then, its on a totalli diff wavelength. "He had taken everything from her"

heh. im searching for soco sheet music whilst reading this (cause im short on time. wah...) so im sorri if these paras dont link 2 gether. :P.

you used fire again. and it like, has a double meaning. the whole 'he burnt her life into ashes' . ' cause her famili died (ithink) from a fire. so ashes and fire all link it 2gether and its like repeated. like, he kinda saved her from the fire (i think) and then he burnt everything that was left.

wow. that was brilliant. the way you wrote about her tears being like silver rain. u have the most beautiful imageri. GRRH. I KANT FIND ANY SOCO SHEET MUSIC! ahem. wah... YES! i just found forget december. woOt. heh. that looks HARRD. i kan play twinkle twinkle little star. :). with 1 hand. thats the most i kan do... at the moment. heh.

im tiredd. id give you a longer review but im tired, and i wanna finish the chap. so the reviews not gunna be as in depth as usual. for some reason i just cant type 2day. i could yesterday but then i was tlking 2 u. :P so i couldnt. and on friday i was kiked off. grrh.

hahaha. fenix's hormones are acting up. but uve written it in a cute poetic way so that u kan hide the hornyness of it. :P. hes checkingher out in her sleep. *huffs* men.

'staring unseeingly at the edge of the night sky as it faded red and melted into a passing sunrise that clung to the mountain ridge in the distance' watch the nite sky fading red. as you slee-ee-p. haha. theres the line wich names the chap. :P.

aw. omg. this convo is so cute. and so... tense. haha. but in a cute way. i kan see why u like this better than P2. :P.

'You’re stronger, you’re more, than that.”' should there realli be a comma b4 'than that' cause im not sure if it read properli, dear.

'“Will you do something for me, and stop taking it?” he asked, seriously.' im not sure about that line. i dont reckon it reads that well cause its a bit.. rushed. compared 2 the rest of the convo, anyway. i mean, u could change it 2 something like 'WOuld you do something for me?' then she has some sort of response either by saying something or some sort of facial expression or you could just stress that he was met with some sort of silence etc etc. and then you could put as a separate thingie '"Will you stop taking it? the torrake -imean." or something like that. i just reckon that if u split it up it would sound more effective and if she had a response it would add more 2 what shes doing throughout the convo so it would be more in depth. evry chance 4 characterisation should be taken :P.

*shudders* so ...morbid. "i bury everyone -eventualli" i loved that line. :P. i love anything to do with burying, or digging graves. like, wen ppl mention them in metaphors or phrases or something. heh. yes, i know im morbid. i blame ur influence. or maybe its just me... heh. oh well. :P.

“If I wanted to attack myself,” and her voice cracked slightly, “I would not waste my time with words.”OUCH. that was.. good. heh. i love their convos. so.. insightful. ur rite, u can NEVER make ur characters hav normal conversations. haha. :P. its what makes u unique.

hahaha. lol! shes blunt. "no. i do not want to think about mine." thats nice of her. :P.

that a nice philosophi. heh. ur so clever. id give u cookies, but u updated P2 b4 i could get round 2 the chap. so u dont DESERVE them.

nice ending. heh. and her thoughts... theyre morbid, yet sarcastic and laced with this underlying cynical edge. heh.

i wont reply 2 the reply, cause its REALLI late now. :P. *huggles* wuv u. this is probabli the last review ull get frm me till u come bak. wah... u better comeonline monday, else i maim u with the fork and i steal fenix. he onli recentli got over the fact that u shipped him bak and locked him in ur box, so he'll be more than willing for me 2 smuggle him in2 britain. cause he likes my compani so much more than he likes urs. screw aiur, fenix is MINE. heh. :). ttyl. *huggles* bi-i
Raomina chapter 15 . 6/26/2005
Wow, this is a GREAT chapter. Very very intense. Very vivid. Great.
Raomina chapter 12 . 6/26/2005
Ok, so she's not his twin. Oh well, that was just a spur of a moment thing.
Raomina chapter 7 . 6/26/2005
This might not be true, but don't you make Aiur Fenix's twin sister! With all the comparisons Adam (weird name for a King actually, Bill too) made between her and Fenix's mother, they'd made me form a connection. Oh well, I'll just read on and find out.
Raomina chapter 3 . 6/26/2005
I have a question about the dark hunter's costume. What kind of material is she wearing? My first impression is shiny leather, you know, like cat woman with a cape or something and a black visor like Cyclops. Don't laugh, i know it's weird but I can't imagine her looking defenseless and all black. Can you find a picture or describe it to me in more details? It would really help me to envision the character.

The plot is really interesting so far. Great job.
Raomina chapter 1 . 6/26/2005
Wow, it is really intense. You've described it very vividly and made my heart clench when I was reading the part about her/him forever crying internally. Going on to read the next chapter!
hologer chapter 20 . 6/25/2005
Excellent chapter, as usual, I loved how Aiur was opening up a bit. Nothing in this story ever feels rushed. The timing is superb, very realistic. I'll definitally wait a month or more for the next chapter. You update faster than any other story I've read on here anyway.
Carbon Slash chapter 20 . 6/24/2005
Yay Aiur's opening up now I wonder what will happen in the end. Anyway, take care and till august then~ :)
The Other Jolt chapter 20 . 6/24/2005
Joy. You updated. Anyways, (actually, you update much quicker than many authors here on FictionPress and FanFiction)as usual, your descriptiveness always pushes the story along for me, and this time, the beginning was very good. Your writing gave the sense of confusion. I like how you portray thoughts. Perhaps not as good as some other writers, but good in your own style that fits in nicely with the story. The part with Aiur feeling all the withdrawal symptoms, did you just read some medical books on it and imagine it? Or did you actually experience it (if this is offensive, feel free to ignore/bash/insult me)? Ok, on to other things...

Wow. Fenix must be really smitten with Aiur if he's feeling that already. Interesting...wonder if the raiders will end up finding them together like friends. If they do, they'll have to be surprised. Wait...oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask you this, since I kept on putting it off and/or forgetting, have you heard of Starcraft?
writtenreality chapter 20 . 6/24/2005
ooh Aiur seems a little.. happier? I don't know, she asn't as dark and morbid as she usually seems to be. That's good, i think. Well hae fun on vacation or whatever you're doing until whenever you said you'd be gone till.. and yeah.
Little Mermaid chapter 20 . 6/24/2005
you are ADORABLEE...aww im going to miss htis SO MUCH while your gone but i know you and your cousin will find some way to enjoy yourselves (somehow) ESP gonna miss you on the msg board (ha when i get on it...btw job and singing...not cool lolzz) LOVING IT! btw if i never say that enough and if you didnt get it

HAVE FUNN! GONNA MISS U MUCHO :-P
Quarantine chapter 20 . 6/24/2005
Okay, well, now I've read all of the first Protector story and all of this Dark Hunter Story that's done, so I figured I'd finally review. Tralala... Nice story, though I seem to remember the paragraphs being farther apart at the beginning. That's all.
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