|Reviews for Dark Hunter
| peep chapter 16 . 4/8/2005
without a doubt, one of the top stories on this site. i know i haven't said anything until now, but i usually don't. even though this isn't as popular as your other set of stories, i've read both, and i think this is the better. but i think people can't appreciate the depth you've put into this, and they just want to read what they like. and they like what's always written about. not that i'm saying the other stories are bad. they're not. i like them, too. you could write anything and give it a kind of life. that's the thing. but the other stories aren't as deep. i hope you don't mind me saying this, but i felt you didn't really get into them until the end of the first one and then you lost it again and now you have it back. but this is not about those stories.
the thing i am glad about is that you HAVE been recognized for writing this. not enough, but seeing this on favourite list after favourite list convinced me to take a look at it. so rest assured you have a lot of readers out here. you didn't take the easy way out with this. instead, you've added a whole new depth to your plot by throwing in this intense psychological aspect. there's a lot of character development here, especially on the part of aiur. and that's been lacking on this site, so thank you.
i think there's a slight unbalance here, because aiur and fenix are developed really well, and so is the man in all the memories. but the rest of your characters come in and out. so if you'd ever want to rewrite this, that could be improved. also you take a little bit to find your footing, i think. in the beginning you wrote differently. and i loved reading it, too, but as the chapters went on and i kept reading, you got better and better. so now you can bring the beginning chapters up to this level you're writing at now, which is amazing.
you've written a very dynamic story here. i love both fenix and aiur. if you developed each of your characters like you did with them - no question. you'd be TOO good. so perhaps it's good there's still imperfections here. or else i would be bowing to you. and i would be too jealous to read this. the plot is perfect to me. it's nothing that different, but again you've made it dynamic just by intwining aiur's past in this (i love how you characterize her through flashbacks as you call them instead of doing her POV it's really different and an awesome call by you) and making it so emotional and deep. the effort you must have taken into developing both fenix and aiur astounds me. because i don't even know if you realize this but you've taken basic psychology and thrust it into the middle of this in a way i'd never be able to.
so yes this has its flaws, definitely. but you more than make up for it in your handling of your protagonists. and even though the aspect you've added to aiur may be simple and slightly cliched, i've rarely seen it done better. on this site OR anywhere else. so i am left in awe of you and this, and i'm more than willing to forget all the rest of it.
thank you for writing this. and whatever inspired you to write it, i thank it as well.
| Alison chapter 16 . 4/8/2005
Keep on going OK it's really good!
| IntentionallyLeftBlank chapter 16 . 4/7/2005
oh! ... you kick ass. yes, i like you very much. continue please.
-hm... got a thing for sc do ya?-
fenix and auir kick ass too! auir more so cause fenix is comin off as an insensitive selfish bastard, and i got a soft spot for chicks with a rough life...
-dude, you look so stoned right now...-
i know, man... anyways, keep it up.
-your toast is-
i'm hungry... and tired.
-bagel, and... oops-
shut up. you give me a headache.
-that's no way to talk to your best friend and beacon of inspiration, now is it? especially since i'm bigger than you... and more violent :) and an evil sadist with a great imagination and many sharp tools is not someone to fuck with-
umm... oh yes, i remember now...
no, i dont. fuck.
-Alas, let us mourn the parting of our dear friend Spike.-
Vik, i'm gonna kick you out if you don't shut up...
-i'll finish this by myself then-
fine. see ya.
-you're a talented writer. keep it up. ignore spike, his only purpose is... to provide me with comic relief-
i heard that!
-adios. sayonara. au revoir. ciao. aloha. goodbye.-
| BrainStew chapter 16 . 4/4/2005
Omg! A chapter dedicated partly to me! Thank you! It makes me feel SO happy that my review was appreciated that much! I'm currently in the car on my way to London to catch an aeroplane to Andorra cuz I'm goin skiing for a week and a bit :D and just before I left, I checked fictionpress and voila! You'd updated! So, naturally, I held up my whole family (literally) while I printed it off. And I sat in the car, took one look at this and started grinning like a maniac. I seriously cant believe you dedicated it to me! I'm not worthy :( lol so anyway... moving on to the reply to the review.
I'm so completely happy you liked my review and I'll be sure to leave long reviews in the future! Your an amazing author and, well, to think you honoured just to have ME read this when loads of other people read it too... it just makes ME feel honoured lol.
I love what you said - "I alwayz know where I want 2 go and never how 2 get there". It makes your story all the more better becuz you manage to do so well without even having a planned journey. With me its more that I'm constantly changing my mind about what plot I wanna use cuz I have so many story idead that they're constantly merging to form new ones. So, basically I havnt even got chapt 1 up.
OK now I'll start reviewing the chapt!
OMG you're so awesome! This chapter kicked all kinds of ass. I hate that man :( He's sso horrible to Aiur. The way you mentioned that the dark which was previously somethin she was afraid of was now more somethin like a friend was good. It showed how she is slowly - at the age of 11! :O - succuming to darkness. Thats so much pain to endure :( I really do feel like crying for her! She's so unfortunate. :( I also like what you did with the chains. Very effective. I dunno, it seemed to me as though she feels like everythin is out to get her. Like with Fenix. He's tryin to help her and yet she keeps pushing him away. Obviously she has reasons for this but iunno, it seems like cuz she hates herself, she expects everyone else to too. And also, I dunno if you meant to do this - you prolly did - but another thing I liked is the way you've got the words Pain, Death, Despair and Hunger capitalized. It seems to highlight those things which are a main element in this story. Those are the complete opposite of the things Aiur wants and yet those are the very things she is recieving. It's do deep! lol.
I love tyhat you showed her saving someone, instead of sending them to their death. This makes it more likely for her to not kill Fenix... right? *grin* lol but I loved that boy. The way he spoke, the way he was afraid of his death yet he accepted it and so on.
:O Keith is so evil! He should go and try face Aiur's pain! See how HE can handle it. Ot's be a just punishment *nods*. But no they cant ambush Fenix and Aiur! No damnit.
Femix was so close to finding out that she cut herself! I really want to see his reaction when he finds out. It'd be interestin cuz the cutting is a big reflection of the pain she's goin through and Fenix'll have to find out sooner or later. Also I LOVE Aiur's comebacks. (example - "Why do you pretend that you do?" heehee I loved that! Your so amazing)
Finally I wanna comment on the irony of the situation. How firstly, Fenix is trying to save her yet she doesnt want to let him even thought she needs it and is crying out for it. And also how he's tryin yo save her at the same time as her leading him to his death. It's so strange, thats what makes this story so different.
The ending was so sad btw! The man has insane views on life. That was such a depressing chapter to read! But really really good!
So to end this review I;d just like to say - keep it up, you rule, I cant wait till your next update and that I love you for putting so muck work into this! I really wrote this on 27/3/05 but yea... I'm posting it a bit later cuz of the holiday.
| liz chapter 16 . 3/30/2005
Wow. And I mean - wow. You never fail to dissapoint, and I think you've only grown stronger as a writer. Looking back at how you wrote before to now - it's such a transformation. You were amazing then, you're simply incredible now. I'm so jealous of your talent. You have a very lyrical way of writing, and you have brilliant metaphorical language that pulls you to a level above most the rest. This was a great chapter. It was very dramatic and perfect in every way. I await your next one eagerly.
| ai no yume chapter 16 . 3/29/2005
wow!...i think this is great. once i started reading it...i just couldn't stop. This is wonderful. you're an amazing .wow...I'm amazed. Thank YOU So much! i can't wait till you update!
| AppLEaves chapter 16 . 3/28/2005
I was just about to cry at the ending, but I can't!
I'm a school for fuck's sake.
Anyway, terribly emotional, this chapter is, but then, ALL your chapters are emotional. But still...
I've got nothing to say, so...
| George Cooper chapter 16 . 3/28/2005
Wow. Seriously intense. Nicely written and exceedinly interesting. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I'm hooiked. Keep up the good writting!
| bulletproof.cupid chapter 16 . 3/28/2005
It's so freaking sad - her past ( Everything's so emotion, you can bring it out in your writing. The makings of a great author! You;ve defnintely got it in you, kid ((don't take the 'kid' as an insult... I say it to everyone, even my friends)) Lol it is cute when two people go man... and it so frustrating for the reader when the two don't know that they like each other and other character keep telling them 'you'll find out soon' and bull like that. Sorry I'm babbling here...
“Why won’t you tell me?” Lol, it's so funny how the woman in this is so dominationg. I saysthis and you HAVE to do it... no questions asked! Good thing I guess...
Well this was a loonng chapter... thanks for the update. I missed it and then found it while looking through some other fics. Well I'm really sleepy, it's like four in the morning. L8er,
| Mish88 chapter 16 . 3/27/2005
Aw poor Aiur. PLEASE make her realise that he likes her even though Fenix is a bit of a jerk sometimes, and says the wrong thing. Other than that, as always love the imagery!
| Arialla chapter 16 . 3/27/2005
Nice chapter. Update again soon!
| flipstahhz chapter 16 . 3/27/2005
good morning/ evening/ afternoon ( i dont know what time it is where u r at) well.. i know u updated a couple of days ago. but truthfully.. had no access to a computer for four full days. coz went nz for the easter break. i just got back yesterday, checked my email. was happy that u updated n went to bed. lol.. (jetlag i guess) .. so now that it's my morning [and reading another email...concerning your update. lol] .. i read the chapter... nice... i like where this is going even moreinteresting how u put drugs and more memories into this story. n im thinking that fenix was that little boy.. but then again...i could just simply be paranoid. it's nice how fenix is getting worried bout aiur, and how aiur's low self esteem.. is getting her to think negatively about everything fenix says. guess this story's called dark hunter for a reason ;) lol. great chapter again, and awaiting for your update
i heart you
| Raging Libra chapter 16 . 3/27/2005
*squeals* yay! an update! and a good one too!
| twistedICYjunk chapter 16 . 3/27/2005
I like this chapter, and some of your descriptions were really good. The way you tell it, it seems like Aiur only has one choice, to go along with him, and that adds to it, I think. If you made it obvious that she actually probably COULD leave him, it wouldn't be as good. It would be interesting if sometime in this story (or if you really wanted to, another one) you told how the master-type guy got how he is, and developed his character a little bit more.
| mauvais ide chapter 16 . 3/27/2005
good chapter even though it was very sad, especially during the flashbacks...good job!