Reviews for Needless
cynicaldays chapter 1 . 7/29/2005
the speaker makes constant references to himself. He's preaching almost, but he seems so narcissistic and self involved that he can't seem to make a complete point. I loved the voice in this poem. The constant references back to color added to the depth. This was wonderful.

Good work.
and flowers chapter 1 . 6/6/2005
its very mismatched and unsorted. i am not sure what i think of it. its different.
hmmmmm chapter 1 . 6/4/2005
frightening. amazing. the last stanza is pure genius.
floppybelly chapter 1 . 6/3/2005
Once again, I must thank you for your most excellent reviews! Those are exactly the kinds of reviews I hope for from every reader. I would also like to point out to you that "I Dream a Beatle" is nowhere near being finished, but rather I'm just having a heck of a time writing it.

Now as for your poem here. I am rather young and naiive, and I really don't know all that much about cocaine. However, I noticed that the attitude in this poem is very angry, almost demanding. As though the narrator is entitled to have more. Lots of good personifications, as well as an allusion to the works of Lewis Caroll. Jolly good show. The ending leaves a little to be desired, almost as though it's about to go on but doesn't- I don't know if this is intentional or not, but it sure makes for an interesting poetical device.

(Yes, we just did a poetry unit in class and I'm still kinda stuck on that.)
obsidian katana chapter 1 . 5/29/2005
awesome poem. i love your use of colors in the first stanza. and your allusion to alice in wonderland int he second stanza. brilliantly written. i like the narrative style and as with the other poem, your use of simile and metaphor. good alliteration in the first line of the third stanza. nice parallelism as well. once again, awesome piece. i like this poem a lot. superb job. keep writing.
Kali Aja chapter 1 . 5/29/2005
Some things didn't make sense at first, but when re-reading it and slowing down to think it'd made much more sense, and could be a very powerful poem. Some of the lines (Chlorine in my eyes, tiles all around, The floor the ceiling as a hatter's party) seemed like they needed some expanding to better get the point across, but a really great poem none the less

Thanks for the review and keep writing
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 5/29/2005
Inside each lotus petal called a mind,

Exists a realm that is relieved in white,

Impressed reincarnations millions,

Exhale their souls as One when they decry,

Intense sensations flowing ecstasies,

Exhumed from something that was nature's gift,

Immediate their pleasures coursing brief,

Excised reality for fay's blue dream,

Immerse our hearts in facile time's passage,

Expecting that bright future was our past.

p.s. Your poem hovers with interest exploring the tragedy of dissonance within and without. m
Miyoko Gosetsuke chapter 1 . 5/19/2005
Dragon! You are talking of the Dragon Queenes, yet? The man who dress like woman? I love this! When you speak of the imprisionment, I am not sure what this is, but I think I understand what you mean! LOLOLOL. My father and mother do this to be after school. Small cages is my room!

A few pounds? That means you are getting fat, yet? Sometimes after holiday I notice weightt gane. It is grandmothers fault! LOLOLOL she frie everythings! Good stuff and messages for God. I like this line because o f God. He is so great to my family I just hope my mother and father can stop feeding me frie everythings so I can go the Heaven! Yes I think of after that I don’t no anymore. I can’t not pay attention to this! I don’t know. But yes I must read more of you’re things so I can try to completed. I do like this better than night AIRE.
DemonKitty chapter 1 . 5/5/2005
I'm sorry, but this doesn't make any sense... Your freeform takes away from the poem, making it not only confusing but not worth reading.
M. Smale chapter 1 . 5/4/2005
Very interesting and extremely well done. Very vivid and powerful, unique rhyme sequence as well. Keep up the excellent writings!
Saint Anger chapter 1 . 9/24/2004
"The good stuff I saw as a message from God" - you've hit the nail directly on the bloody head with that line. perfectly sums up the junkie mentality. (*cough* not that i would, uh, know, or anything.. *cough*)
"Damp coils of smoke breathe out from the waste" - is a particularly nice visual.
the whole thing is lovely. i really like it. :-)
SleepDontWeep chapter 1 . 9/19/2004
i love this poem! i love 'and the letter got lost in the mail, although they never said that'! ur wording and imagery are truly amazing! i read ur bio and we seem to have a few things in common; we're both claire's we both love chandler (if u check out my bio it's smothered wit his queotes, well all my faves) and well anyways id love to talk to u! email me if u want and please o please review my story 'thoughts of eva' and mayb 'thats not how it happened' they're my babies and id love much opinions on them and b honest! hope to hear from u soon! love ya lots!
FunkehGal chapter 1 . 8/27/2004
Thought I'd tell you that my name is now FunkehGal. So if you see any stories with that penname you know its me. I hope I'll get more reviews from you soon!
Kristina chapter 1 . 8/21/2004
Wow. Claire! This is amazing! I love it! Keep up the great work! :)
PaulAsaran chapter 1 . 7/10/2004
Intense emotions going on here. I love how the poem sounds, how its worded, and the amazing seriousness of it. You, my friend, are going on my fav list.
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