Reviews for Fighting it
Kriss-C chapter 1 . 8/31/2004
that sums up everything i fear! Great poem!
Matt Alan chapter 1 . 5/24/2004
So sad... -_- But it is full of hope good job man!
AmethystTrish chapter 1 . 5/21/2004
i really liked this piece. its seems so full of courage about facing the world after realizing that you're not alone, even though you thought you were. excellent job!
Crimson-Fantasy chapter 1 . 4/28/2004
I see what has happened a bad relationship ended for the better...even if it does hurt...so bad...you must listen to your own words for they are wise...nomatter how difficult...I hate people who try to minipulate you...actually I am very familair with that felling...hope you don't have to deal with this much longer...*:)*K.P.
FELICIA-SPENCER chapter 1 . 4/27/2004
Good for you. Ya know I liked this one. So positive in the end, that it even made me feel good. Great job. Sometimes it's good to move on, and you've highlighted that point rather well if I do say so myself. Great strong poem. Thanks for sharing it with us, and helping me feel better too. This was very uplifting. Thanks, I needed that. TTFN.
LovesTeardrop chapter 1 . 4/27/2004
That was very good. Quite sad but deep words and a good rhyming scheme.
I would love it if you took the time to read some of my work. Well done.
LovesTeardrop
Della C chapter 1 . 4/27/2004
The Puppet Master: Ok... I'm feeling nice. This is not the worst I've ever seen. Really its not. At least you remembered to put it into poetry format so the line breaks would come through. I would suggest getting rid of the rhyme scheme all together, it doesn't serve the poem. English is a rhyme poor language... lets just face that fact now. I also suggest you stop using the word pain, or care, or life or anything like that. Stop being vague and tell me exactly what you want to communicate.
Della C: Aren't you the lucky one? He actually gave you advice instead of driving your poem into the mud. He's not a nice man, the Puppet Master...
to further his comments, find a rhythm that works and stick with it. don't jump around. if a line doesn't fit, throw it away. As I'm not a student of poetry as the PM is, that's about all I can say.
good job at not sucking completely. or something.
Puppet Master: Right... One more thing and I'll be going. If you like rhyme and rhythm you might want to try form poetry, such as the sonnet or haiku. There are a wide variety of forms to choose from. If you want to use freeverse you have to choose your linebreaks carefully, picking where and when you break. You need a reason for your patterns, and an even better one for breaking them.
Ruthy chapter 1 . 4/27/2004
very well writen.I like how you described the emotion in the first 3 lines alot.