|Reviews for CRDP: Beginnings|
| Shiina chapter 9 . 8/26
Ugh! Gunther is such an immature, ungrateful twat. He would've been a lab rat or dead if it wasn't for them. And what the hell? The members of the team didn't put anyway near as much effort into including Adir into the team when it was him who was the new guy. They were way more hostile and ignored him a lot.
| Shiina chapter 8 . 8/26
I don't understand why it's not a crime to lock up and experiment on someone without their permission? Obviously in this world people with abilities aren't considered monsters, not exactly. Discriminated against maybe, but they still have human rights. So why is this allowed? It doesn't make sense.
On this subject, I just want to point out that we don't know much about the world's view on those people; there isn't really much world building overall. It feels...blurry?
Also, the fact that there's nothing to indicate the change between scenes makes reading extremely confusing. Please don't think I'm trying to bash this story because I'm not. In fact I love it, those are just things that really bother me.
| SlashLover chapter 12 . 1/31
After completing this, I agree with other reviewers. This story has a ton of potential. I like the characters and the world you've created. I think a beta reader would help immensely.
Again, I found the use of the word "some" used lazily. He made *some* noise but no description of the nature of the noise. He did *something* without a description of that something.
All in all, though, very enjoyable. Thanks for sharing it.
| SlashLover chapter 9 . 1/31
I love the line, "No, here's where I tell you not to say stupid shit."
Good rule of life in general.
| SlashLover chapter 7 . 1/31
A couple of asterisks or dashes between scenes would be useful. There'd be less confusion when a new opening scene begins.
| SlashLover chapter 6 . 1/31
Good story, I like the characters.
There are a few typos and grammar and punctuation errors, but still quite readable. I would caution that there are a few moments where sentences seem oddly disjointed. In this chapter, there's a sentence that says along the lines of "X is doing this, x is doing this and Mercer and Archer are doing something. "
Given that Shen is nearly all-knowing with his abilities and he's got an especially strong link with Mercer, one would assume he knows what they're doing. The fact that the sentence was left as is reflects almost a laziness in writing. Even saying they were doing something boring like comparing case notes would have at least completed the sentence.
| rockspapersnscissors chapter 12 . 5/16/2014
Billy Bob?! Omg- You did not just do that! XD Lol, I really liked the story, though it could use some work... proofreading and plot wise! The most notable thing is the lack of consistency, but overall I like the idea of the story and think with some work it could be an awesome read!
| Afan chapter 12 . 11/15/2012
The awesome characters of this fabulous story have grown on me and I am so happy there is will be more cases with them; can't wait to go on with them on their next exciting adventures...
| GrimNight chapter 12 . 8/30/2012
Awesome story, Loved Adir's character the most!
| NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 12 . 4/28/2011
i really hope this is published one day. i would definitely buy it. great job. lovable characters and wonderful development and plot. thanks for sharing !
| Shjsj7732 chapter 1 . 2/9/2011
I love this story!
| Iuno chapter 12 . 6/19/2010
I love Archer here-he's my ultimate man. I like the chemistry between Mercer and Shen, their personalities really suit each other. The love-hate relationship between Archer and Gun are amazing; I'm always inclined to love the second pairing more than the first, actually. Just one detail though, I don't think you ever mentioned Gun's hair color just his eyes which are blue. I'm just going to imagine it's silver.
| Wren chapter 12 . 5/9/2010
You should continue this, it's a good idea. I love adir's distressed child act.
| ayune01 chapter 1 . 12/3/2009
i cant wait to read more.
thank you for writing this.
| pille-ip chapter 12 . 11/29/2009
I like the colourful characters. I love the quirks that they have and I enjoy reading something a bit different.
I would have liked to get to know the newer members a bit more and also the doc, but I guess it's something for the next books of CRDP :)
Keep up the good work!