|Reviews for Shadow Stalker|
| FamishedNight chapter 18 . 11/21/2011
Awesome! Update soon!
| Silver Daratraz chapter 17 . 11/23/2005
there he goes again...unconscious
| Silver Daratraz chapter 16 . 11/23/2005
he seems to do that a lot...fainting...oh i forgot, guys don't like to call it fainting...it's to girly, Unconscious then.
| Silver Daratraz chapter 15 . 11/23/2005
*giggles* they meet! heehheeh...
| Silver Daratraz chapter 11 . 11/23/2005
shiit! I knew it! I knew it! IT was HIM! THAT BASTARD! CONDAYAN! UGHG
| kayoko101 chapter 18 . 9/17/2005
wow i loved those last 3 chptz .. sorry i didnt update sooner ... but anywho , they were way cool and yuah ... u need 2 update soon .. latz . thats about it .. so yua .. ... um ... yua .. . latz .
ps . q and a : when is he goin 2 tell her that they actually were dead and that he would not have otherwise have killed them ? cuz rightnow she thinks hes a monster and thats no fun .. ...
| RuathaWehrling chapter 10 . 10/6/2004
Hello again! Sorry if I seemed to fall off the face of the planet. Classes started and work picked up and... well, you know how it goes. Anyhow, I'm here now to take a look at another chapter...
1.) "It had been nearly a year since Danaush had last lain eyes upon city’s shining white domes," - "laid", not "lain".
2.) There are an awful lot of "but"s and "but yet"s in the first paragraph. You might consider rephrasing a few of them to avoid redundancy.
3.) Ahh... Dayan's just SUCH a nice guy!
4.) "along three of its walls was stair-like seats" - "were", not "was"
5.) "the only exception being that her resounding calm has been shattered by feelings of hatred and sadness" - "had", not "has"
6.) "Then can you relate the charges to me." - Question mark!
7.) "He did not think that the trial would have proved to be so hard. " - "Had not thought", perhaps?
8.) "if you consider giving someone a proper burial evidence of murder" - You're missing a period here.
9.) How come Danaush only knew his grandmother for a "few months"?
10.) " I do not think that you are fit to try this case" - period!
11.) " "It is time for me to take you home, where you belong" Marian said" - Missing a comma here.
This was a very nice chapter! I'm kind of surprised that EVERYONE stood against Mala, though. I'd think she'd have a few allies as well, especially from people who are afraid of his taint, and are willing to see him die for any reason. Anyhow, that's just my thought, but you might consider it.
I really like the way we can see exactly what Danaush is thinking in this chapter. Poor guy!
I'll be back for more later. Thanks!
| theatreoftheabsurd chapter 18 . 9/30/2004
I am very sorry it's taken me this long to review this chapter *smacks hand* A new term makes for confusion all round, especially where getting my damn internet connection sorted out is concerned *mutters and glares at itcs department*
Anyway... onto the chapter. Thanks for the email, by the way - I did get it eventually _
I'm really glad they're all meeting up. It makes me smile *smile* (sorry if this review's a bit weird, I spent a lot of last night running around outside lol)
Yay Fuli - I love the way he takes everything so literally.
Hmm, I do wonder about how much of that Underworld business was a dream. Yay black blobs!
"the red headed woman was not his old friend" Nice little sentiment here.
I like Haliha and Danaush's reunion - it's touching in the way it avoids too much openly expressed emotion.
I'm kind of hoping Con isn't dead... He was fun in an evil way.
"Hal, you have a future; I don't." - this is a very pessimistic side of Danaush we're seeing here.
Ahh... the meddling/curious innkeeper. Good old peasants...
I'm glad you're updating again! *dance*
- sofi x
"speech horribly slurred on to the point" - 'up to the point'
"two oaks beds on either side" - take the 's' off 'oaks'
"who seemed to have darkened even more since" - 'darkened'? Do you mean aesthetically (his complexion)? Or character?
"Nevertheless, he had seen her, or someone who looked like her, right before, right before I died." - don't switch from third to first person in the same sentence.
"her eyes normally expression lively eyes etched with deep sadness" - what? I understand your meaning, but could you rephrase this?
"taking his into the realms of dreams" - do you mean 'taking him' or 'taking his mind'?
"the Lady of Selen caught word that he had knowing allowed her son's murder's" - 'knowingly' and 'murderers'
| YSYF chapter 18 . 9/28/2004
Very interesting...very interesting...
Ok, the chgapter was well put out, so not many complaints over the structure, or the events. Actually, no, I did have some slight problems with the events. Most people, even one such as Fuli, wouldn't condemn their own friend just because he claims to have no future. Unless, there is now another prophecy that reveals Daunaush's future? Another one that you are keeping secret from us?
Then there is Haliha and Daunaush meeting again for the first time in...4 years. It could have defintely been portrayed better I think. I know, I know, Daunaush was weaker then, but still. They would both of been slightly more estactic that as you portrayed them. There is always energy to be found in reunions...trust me, after being in a car for three days with a borther and dad, I stil had energy to hang out with my family this summer.
Also, a mage that overuses their energy to the extent that Daunaush did, wouldn't have been able to wake up after three days, unless he regains it very quickly, which is actually unheard of to some extent. Now, if oyu wish to acredit it to his already amzing abilities as a wizard, then I might be able to accept that...and i may not...
Hm...guess that's all I really need to say about this chater, so until you update again...
| Saharian chapter 18 . 9/19/2004
For some, extremely screwed up reason, this is saying that I have already reviewed this chapter. Which I have not but w/e. Anyway... Of course I wanted you to update it! And of course I wanted to read it. I loved this story and I am so glad you decided to pick it up again. _ It's a pretty nice length chapter too ;-P Anyway now that you have updated it you have to KEEP GOING! Lol so update soon!
PS: Isabel will be updated as soon as Michelle sends it back to me, ready to post! :-P
| LiquidGenesis chapter 18 . 9/19/2004
Not signed cause ch 18 looks like it needs to be reloaded. Thanks for the review.
Hate when ficpress messes up like this.
| LiquidGenesis chapter 18 . 9/19/2004
Not signed cause it looks like there is a problem with ch. 18's format. Thanks for the review. The fic isn't much of a historical fic, the introduction is just a setting place, the rest is the story. I look forward to reading ch 18 when I can seperate it from the coding. - I hate it when ficpress does this kinda stuff.
| LiquidGenesis chapter 16 . 9/17/2004
Finally a correct definition of 'magic'! It took a long time to get them together. Awesome ending.
| LiquidGenesis chapter 11 . 9/17/2004
(All of these are just things that I thought of. No offense, just offering some ideas about what confused me)
It would have been great if you could have gone into more detail in the relationship between Dunni, Fuli and Danaush. Their past would have been fun to explore, I think.
Loved the part "possibly the undead" it sounded so flippy. I can imagine someone saying that "Oh yeah, there might be some undead...no big deal." Loved it.
Do they have kilometers?
Thought Danaush was from Selen, whats this about relatives in Dergito? A little more detail about that would have been good. (As you can see I'm a detail person)
Please ignore any of this if it was answered in the previous series. I have yet to read it. But loving it. The story's going too fast but it's good.
| LiquidGenesis chapter 10 . 9/17/2004
this is happening way, way too fast! I think you could make this story so much longer, but it's great just the way it is. Maybe its only me who wants it to be longer.