Reviews for Broken hearts, True love
SamanthaNicole chapter 1 . 10/30/2007
I really liked this. I've been getting into poetry a lot more lately, and it's nice to find some really good stuff hidden on FP.

I like the raw emotions of this piece. The way you describe everything makes it very easy to understand.

A few notes:

x. As a husband cheats his wife in a hotel inn. - Did you mean 'cheats on his wife?' Just because 'cheats' by itself sounds a bit awkward.

x. As the woman asks if the question, why? - Here, I was wondering if perhaps you should take out the 'if.' This is just my personal opinion, but I think the line would make more sense without it.

x. Also, 'husbands' in the second stanza doesn't need that extra 's.'

Other than those few minor details, I really, really liked this. Good for you!

Cheers,

Sammy
Dolenquarion chapter 1 . 5/5/2004
I like how the verses ryhme. But the ending leaves a bit to be expected. What happens next would be good. :)