|Reviews for A Tide of Tears Between Us|
| Stuffblah chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
Oh! What an intresting beginging. I will be sure to carry on reading! Love it!
| i-rite-gud chapter 1 . 8/1/2008
I think this is a pretty good first chapter but I think an improvement would be to put a page break between Aislinn flying at the criminal and her boss yelling at her. The way you have it formatted right now is confusing because one event flows into the other without a distinction between the two. The content is good but I think that one change would be great!
| Veromorphia chapter 3 . 7/1/2007
Hm...Seeing a lover in ones dreams that one can't touch, an impossibly oppressive home and a single, loving family member. I'm beginning to see some pleasant similarities between our stories.
I liked the symbolic imagery in the dream. Personifying the City makes it seem so much more like a horrible monster.
| Veromorphia chapter 2 . 7/1/2007
Wow, this has quickly turned into a lovely and refreshing little anti-Utopia. Your characters are developing nicely. I especially liked the line "do away with something like married." Aislinn's obvious grammar mistake shows how clueless she is about marriage, how it was never allowed to enter her mind even as an impersonal memory.
| Veromorphia chapter 1 . 7/1/2007
First of all, I'd like to thank you for being Immortality's only reviewer-Mortality (both versions that have been on the site) did so much better at the beginning. I appreciate your feedback more than you can possibly know.
Now, onto the review...
I like it. Your first chapter certainly makes me want to read more. Your characters are intriguing and the universe that they live in leaves a lot to be explained.
If you want just a bit of constructive criticism, I think that your introduction of the rules of that universe were said a little too bluntly. I'm tempted to use that old cliche about "showing" the audience something instead of "telling" them. For instance, I think that the rule about religion would have been made a lot more effective if Aislinn's boss had scolded her about beating up the murderer, and she had replied with some snappy comeback about how he hadn't been bothered when she'd hurt "that religious fanatic," and if the conversation had progressed naturally from there.
But that's just a personal suggestion-do what you like. _
| blood-red white and blue chapter 1 . 5/9/2007
I was going to read your latest story, but realized it was a sequel to this one.
It's pretty interesting. The whole concept of "murder isn't such a big deal" is strange and mysterious. I may review some more chapters soon.
I've been busy lately, but i'll try to get Day II of A Hunter's Log up soon.
| lostlove chapter 15 . 12/27/2006
AW! That is so romantic! i wish the one i love would do that with me. awsome story so far!
| lostlove chapter 14 . 12/27/2006
sorry. made a mistake. my pen name is BrokenHeart13
| lostlove chapter 12 . 12/27/2006
i love your story so far. can't wait to read the rest. go to to read a poem i wrote. my pen name is BrokenHeart27
| closedheart chapter 6 . 12/26/2006
a few grammer errors. but nothing major. can't wait to read more.
| Sir Scott chapter 20 . 12/15/2006
Good story. I liked the ending with green glowing light. The fight with Pavin was pretty good. He had to be pretty tough to take blows to the head. That alone should have killed him. I felt sorry for Gregory and I would have liked to seen Jud's character explored a little more.
Overall, this story was a winner.
| Sir Scott chapter 15 . 12/15/2006
It was about time that he told her that he loved her. So far I like Gregory and Jud the best. Great job, so far.
| Sir Scott chapter 10 . 12/14/2006
I have been wanting to read this story for awhile and this is where I will stop for tonight. I really enjoyed it so far and it was cool that you had a pipesmoker in it. I like your style.
| Mark-Anthony chapter 1 . 3/21/2006
Hey Marina, I was dinking around looking for a way to contact you and I found this story at the same time. I've only gotten through chapter 1, but I like it. If I didn't have drama galore coming up tomorrow, I'd take my day off (today) and read the whole thing.
Did you notice that we both use the name Aislinn? that's the name of the town The Indigis takes place in. I actually named it after a friend of mine because her name was all kinds of unusual to me, but apparently the name is more common than I thought.
Anyway though, I'm totally interested and I'll probably be fiending for a fix by the time i get back home from the funeral :c)Mark-Anthony
| animalwriter chapter 3 . 3/31/2005
Wow, I really like this so far! I'll come back and read the rest soon.