|Reviews for All I ever wanted
| Moraiwe chapter 1 . 5/12/2004
It's a very good idea and your writing style is good. You do a nice job of showing and not simply telling
Good ideas aside, your abuse of the ellipsis detracts from the ideas. It makes your dialogue very halted and difficult to read. Try commas or even periods. Don't forget to capitalise the names in your summary. That's your first impression. Make a good one!
The formatting. Your formatting it definitely going to detract some readers. Maybe you could check into why it reformatted itself and fix it for previous chapters.
This is just constructive criticism, don't take it personally. You have a wonderful style and I hope to read more from you.