Hehe... Amusing, funny, although not laugh out loud so. Good job.

A bit random. Correction, very random. Has some quite hilarious bits in it though, and cunningly placed referenced to other sources, humourously and shamelessly footnoted. There were places where I could see potential for a live-action version of this, almost as a cross between The Simpsons and Naked Gun...
Mr Mickey certainly seems able to write coherantly (or as coherantly as the plot allowed), but the plot itself seems excessively abstract and lacks detail in later chapters. I would have liked to have had more detail in the lair and some description of the people Dave encountered. The pace of the story also varied considerably throughout, which made it a little difficult to read. However, Dave was well constructed and showed a degree of personality.
And after all, this is a spoof, not a serious thriller... ;)