Reviews for Rain
ann chapter 1 . 5/24/2004
hey chica. well, this is a depressing morsel isnt it just?
so many holistic ideas, very good coverage...
some constructive criticism: watch out for those awful tenses, some spelling mistakes...but other than that it was good. i was waiting for a point to the story, but if your to look at it from the perspective of the way someone thinks, its more than ideal.
good work, kudos!
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum chapter 1 . 5/23/2004
FINALLY! I've been trying to review this since last night, and until now the review button wouldn't work. But only on this story. It was très strange.
Anyways!
Wow! This story is so... wow. Incredibly insightful. It REALLY made me think. And that's tough. *laughs* Honestly, though. It's beautiful. It's honest. It's.. wonderful.
You astound me, Mia. You're so talented. Great story..!
Sarah Parker chapter 1 . 5/23/2004
Wow... this is so... wow. Powerful and.. insightful... it held my attention the ENTIRE time.. most certainly not a pile of bullshit! And the fact that from the very beginning I was going to say, "Wow, awesome characters... I love how insightful and caring the narrator is." well.. that just shows you're awesome, because I didn't realize this was your actual narration... it's AWESOME! I am amazed... how well this flows and how.. there's such a moral to it and.. seems like it would be a very tiring day for your mind. *hugs* this is incredibly moving! I also wonder about those people on the street I pass... the ones that seem to have no home, wonder what their stories are and stuff... anyway, awesome! as always!
IHJ chapter 1 . 5/22/2004
*blowing out breath* I'm about half dead from fatigue of shopping for a prom dress (how feminine is THAT?), but it's well written and descriptive without being boring, you know? If we weren't told, the fact that it's a reflection would have come across fine.
There are a few times I'm confused about the tenses. I know that you're writing about earlier that night so when you said, for instance 'I never want to go down there, I shudder.' is that during the night out with Sinem or while you're typing it up?
In fact, I don't know if it matters, or if you want to mix the present and the few-hours-ago past together. Like, to make the somewhat surreal atmosphere of thinking and making observations about the world and yourself while you're out in life without being INVOLVED with them come through even stronger.
I can't really think of what else to say right now, so...ciao,
Izzy J.
destinee ariarti chapter 1 . 5/22/2004
this is great...you are very talented. the characters are unique without being too farfetched, and they're interesting. keep up the great work.
kacie