|Reviews for Forsaken Identity|
| augmentedDREAMS chapter 25 . 3/1/2015
I like this ending. But maybe you could've written an epilogue about Timon only. The way he said that he would comeback for Lena and how he thought about it, it just leaves the reader thinking too. I also prefer that he doesn't come back because that would mean even more conflict and angst but it just makes me want to read till that point of Timon's life when he finally accepts that he won't be coming back.
| Grammar police chapter 11 . 10/14/2012
You need to learn the difference between then and than. It will serve you well in life.
| 11AG chapter 26 . 6/3/2012
I must say, I'm actually pretty glad there was no 'happy ending'. That ending is too cliche and wouldn't add up, especially to a story like this. I mean, she spends part of her life hating him, so why would she ride of into the sunset with him? The ending was very good, and I enjoyed the whole story very much.
| Kaybookworm chapter 26 . 10/20/2011
LOVED! Only a few things, I would have loved to hear more of the traitorous plotting, or of her giving the Ambassador news and details for the attack or some-such. Also I hear what you were saying about Epilogue and almost totally agree. On my part I would have loved to hear about her brother getting the throne (as was the bargain between Lena and the Ambassador if it was kept,) Maybe adding a twist, like her being pregnant with Timon's child, since the time he laid with her and the time she married cute Philo, couldn't have been more then a few weeks. And it takes about a month to realize your pregnant, so no one, but maybe her, would realize. Maybe, after bearing a few children, having Philo fall ill, or die in an accident-so she would move in with her King Brother- so that when Timon comes back with his army and invades, there she is, his conquest! 3 But your story is still wonderful, and if left me open with these ideas, and my own ending for it, so it's practically perfect! LOVE LOVE LOVE! Thanks for sharing!
| Aurii chapter 26 . 7/24/2011
This story was amazing. I liked your writing style and also your plot. Even though the endong was kinda sad I think that was the best way you could end the story.
I know I shouldnt be nagging but maybe you'll write a sequel? Lena dies and Timon becomes king again. Timon finds his Lena's son/daughter and wants to make him/her the heir and stuff maybe? Heheh well thats just my imagination running wild I guess. Just shows how much of an effect this story had on me to keep me thinking about it...
| XpheonixrisingX chapter 26 . 6/9/2011
First off, I just wanted to let you know that I loved this story. It was fantastically written, and I enjoyed it immensely. I just read your author's note, actually, and I wanted to let you know that I completely agree with you. I understand where the other readers are coming from, a happy ending is always nice, but it doesn't necessarily happen like that in real life, and I'm glad you represented that in this story. I look forward to reading other works you come up with!
| Candescence chapter 26 . 3/23/2011
I am reluctantly agreeing with your conclusion: it just wouldn't be realistic for them to get together. I was thinking about that while reading before, but I still wanted them to be together by some magical force of your writing...Anyways, this story was good, really good. I liked it
| Candescence chapter 5 . 3/23/2011
Wow, I like this story already. Lena is a great character, I love her personality. Great start
| Bri.Ski-IceGirl chapter 26 . 2/3/2011
I really really enjoyed this story and while i was hoping for the happy ending im really happy with the way you ended this story...it seems more realistic this wayso congrats on writing a wonderful story
| Long Island Iced Tea chapter 1 . 10/14/2010
| Jae chapter 26 . 9/20/2010
Personally, I loved your story, from the beginning till the very end. Yours is one of the few romance stories on fictionpress that I've read that I feel the not-so-happy ending was suitable. Unlike most of the stories on fictionpress which are "happy endings", your ending was realistic and logical. I loved how Timon felt loyal to his own Father's rule despite all he felt for Lena. Lena's rash actions and indecision between duty to her family and her love for Timon is interesting, though it would have been nice to have her a little more cold-blooded. Altogether really enjoyed reading your story! :D
| No account so anonymous chapter 26 . 9/18/2010
The story was fine, but your author's note annoyed me. Your tone was condescending towards your readers.
'Oh you wanted a happy ending? How immature. I'm such a proficient writer - I don't DO happy endings. I will now ramble off justification that I have pulled out of my ass.'
Though you may think that your 'well-thought' motivations for the characters was admirable and puts you above other writers or readers here - it doesn't. Your English is good, but your story-telling skills are barely on the borderline. You give it to your readers as it happens - oh, this person does this, then this person does this and this person feels this. There was no love in your story; I felt nothing except for a small desire to see how it would end. I cared not for Lena, or Philo or Alcaues or Timon or Cadmus. I did not care who Lena would end up with. I did not feel the pang in my heart, or my pulse quicken at her admission of love. Just because you decide to be 'different' does NOT automatically elevate your story to 'touching' or 'deep'. I suggest you decide how to properly word your stories, and get rid of your annoying superiority complex.
| Night-Rayne chapter 26 . 7/11/2010
I just wanted to say I absolutely loved the story and how it wasn't a happily-ever-after in the end, it was more realistic which you don't find often on this site
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| Airror chapter 26 . 5/16/2010
I agree with you about the ending; there couldn't be a happy one.
Too many people want to see a happy ending, even if it's unrealistic, and that's sad. Hopefully, they'll understand that there won't always be a happy ending in life.