I am reluctantly agreeing with your conclusion: it just wouldn't be realistic for them to get together. I was thinking about that while reading before, but I still wanted them to be together by some magical force of your writing...Anyways, this story was good, really good. I liked it

Wow, I like this story already. Lena is a great character, I love her personality. Great start

I really really enjoyed this story and while i was hoping for the happy ending im really happy with the way you ended this story...it seems more realistic this wayso congrats on writing a wonderful story

Fascinating

Personally, I loved your story, from the beginning till the very end. Yours is one of the few romance stories on fictionpress that I've read that I feel the not-so-happy ending was suitable. Unlike most of the stories on fictionpress which are "happy endings", your ending was realistic and logical. I loved how Timon felt loyal to his own Father's rule despite all he felt for Lena. Lena's rash actions and indecision between duty to her family and her love for Timon is interesting, though it would have been nice to have her a little more cold-blooded. Altogether really enjoyed reading your story! :D

The story was fine, but your author's note annoyed me. Your tone was condescending towards your readers.

'Oh you wanted a happy ending? How immature. I'm such a proficient writer - I don't DO happy endings. I will now ramble off justification that I have pulled out of my ass.'

Though you may think that your 'well-thought' motivations for the characters was admirable and puts you above other writers or readers here - it doesn't. Your English is good, but your story-telling skills are barely on the borderline. You give it to your readers as it happens - oh, this person does this, then this person does this and this person feels this. There was no love in your story; I felt nothing except for a small desire to see how it would end. I cared not for Lena, or Philo or Alcaues or Timon or Cadmus. I did not care who Lena would end up with. I did not feel the pang in my heart, or my pulse quicken at her admission of love. Just because you decide to be 'different' does NOT automatically elevate your story to 'touching' or 'deep'. I suggest you decide how to properly word your stories, and get rid of your annoying superiority complex.

I just wanted to say I absolutely loved the story and how it wasn't a happily-ever-after in the end, it was more realistic which you don't find often on this site

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I agree with you about the ending; there couldn't be a happy one.

Too many people want to see a happy ending, even if it's unrealistic, and that's sad. Hopefully, they'll understand that there won't always be a happy ending in life.

Good story.

Oh gosh, this is a very interesting story. I'm squirming in my seat right now anticipating what's coming next!

I notice that you've typed "fiercely" as "fiercly", watch out! :)

I'm glad that you've mentioned Apollo and his golden chariot. I love Greek myths, though I haven't read them for quite a long time.

I really liked your story, including the ending, it reminds you that sometimes in reality you don't get happy endings. But it doesn't stop you feeling sorry for them, sniffs, such a sad ending. Maybe you should do a sequel showing what happens to Timon and does he invade Crete again in the future? Hm interesting... anyways thanks for the story it was great! D

I really liked your story, including the ending, it reminds you that sometimes in reality you don't get happy endings. But it doesn't stop you feeling sorry for them, sniffs, such a sad ending. Maybe you should do a sequel showing what happens to Timon and does he invade Crete again in the future? Hm interesting... anyways thanks for the story it was great! D

Hmm.. I guess it was an alright story, although I would have liked a happy ending. Maybe a sequel?

wow, this story was so sad and tragic. A lost love. I really like our writing style. Great story! :)

-Alex